Sometimes A Writer Has To Be Creative, And Other Times The World Is Creative Enough On Its Own

by Jeff on Nov 5, 2008 9:41 PM PST in Miscellaneous Comment 10 comments

Manny Ramirez. Mark Teixeira. Magglio Ordonez. Daisuke Matsuzaka. Adrian Beltre. Carlos Beltran. To what is already a long list of household names, it would appear that you can add yet another one.

Since mega agent Scott Boras represents mostly players on the high end of the spectrum, it came as a surprise mid-season when Mariner utility infielder Willie Bloomquist opted to sign with him.

Still, Boras generally gets results, and Bloomquist, a free agent for the first time, is looking for results.

Me: Seriously?
Boras: Seriously what?
Me: Willie Ballgame?
Boras: What about him?
Me: You're going to get a commission of like eleven cents.
Boras: I know what I'm doing.
Me: Explain.
Boras: I really shouldn't have to.
Me: What could you possibly have to gain by representing Willie Ballgame?
Boras: Did you ever see She's All That?

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At least we can laugh now

If Bavasi was still here, this would mean a 5y/$35m extension for young William.

by Grady. on Nov 5, 2008 9:59 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

Sad but true

by Fuzz on Nov 5, 2008 10:02 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

He's been a Mariner for how long now?

And I’m still looking for results. That makes two of us.

by dancehall_dreamer on Nov 5, 2008 10:27 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

September 02

His time with us has basically paralleled our fun little adventure in recent years.

by Robert on Nov 5, 2008 10:27 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

I wonder if it happened like this -

Willie: Hey Scotty. How’d you like to represent the best damn non-hitting decent fielding utility infielder in the entire pacific northwest major league baseball scene?
Boras: Sure, what the hell. I could use a few belly laughs. And you know, I always wished that I could afford Stride gum. That shit is expensive.
Willie : Okay. i’m looking for regular playing time and 5 years at a few mil per year.
Boras: Huh.
Boras: Well, I’m gonna need some crack.
Boras : Well, a lot of crack.
Boras: You know, to give the GMs.
Boras: Cause without Bavasi there ain’t no one falling for that shit.