I may be drunk but

by Corco on Oct 24, 2008 11:10 PM PDT

Look. Zduriencik is a fucking great hire. He may not be who I would have chosen and I was ceratingly shocked when he was hired. But the dude knows his shit. I mean for an ugly dude he has a hot wife. But he also knows his motherfucking talent. I mean he is fucking Pat Giillick with an ability to respect a minor league system and not fucking nuke it on steroids. He may not be my choice but the dude knows his shit and we should give him credit for that. He has the potential to be the best general manager in franchise history and God willing he will be because he knows his talent. We may see some weird moves but I doubt we see another Vidro trade and I doubt we see anything on the P-I I mean Post-Intelligencer Poll because Zduriencik knows what's up. Dude is a baller in the baseball sense

And I may be drunk but I'm pretty sure I spelled Zduriencik right so that has to count for something

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I don't know who rec'd me but you sir I owe US$1 to

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by Corco on Oct 24, 2008 11:36 PM PDT reply actions

sir or madam actually

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by Corco on Oct 24, 2008 11:37 PM PDT up reply actions

So to sum up...

Zduriencik knows his shit?

by basebliman on Oct 24, 2008 11:57 PM PDT reply actions

Either he knows his shit or he knows his talent, I can't tell which.

but at least he’s a baller, in the baseball sense.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Oct 25, 2008 1:17 AM PDT up reply actions

"I mean he is fucking Pat Giillick "

Ugly kid alert.

by MFAN on Oct 25, 2008 1:02 AM PDT reply actions

Well played.

by Two Rs and Two Ls on Oct 25, 2008 1:15 AM PDT up reply actions

This is a strange post, but I'd like to second it

Zduriencik was not my first choice either, but I am absolutely cool with the decision. Plus, he really does have a challenging name to type. Especially in a lightly intoxicated/sleep deprived state. I like that in a manager. Bavasi was just becoming too easy to say and type on a friday night. Now when people decide to bitch about our managerial moves, they have to actually think about it.

by Kevman22 on Oct 25, 2008 2:26 AM PDT reply actions

At least while I was tanked and writing about Jack Zduriencik last night I was getting paid for it

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on Oct 25, 2008 8:22 AM PDT reply actions

Oh--and you didn't see a bear while intoxicated either.

Canada is fucking weird.

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on Oct 25, 2008 8:50 AM PDT up reply actions

Good God

My facebook outbox to coffee date girl:

Look I might be intoxicated here and I might be ridiculous but I have seen you and I know you will take this in good humour because you are for a lack of a better highly intoxicated term “the shit.” You know what’s up and i applaud you for that. You are pretty cool for someone in a statistics class and it mystifies me s to how you even exist because nobody as awesome as you usuallly even exists. So as the slightly pretty but really awesome girl who I now have no chance with because I hit on her drunk and no girl I like is turned on by this (because I generally like those girls who are actually turned off by drunk messages from random dudes), I bid you the best of luck in your forseeable future and I think you are the most awesome person I have ever sat next to in a stats class (you are the only one, admittedly) and I bid you good luck in future endeavors.

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by Corco on Oct 25, 2008 8:27 AM PDT reply actions

Oh, Corco.

I admit, it is sort of a sweet message, up until “slightly pretty but really awesome”. That’s a shame.

by royalcurve on Oct 25, 2008 11:22 AM PDT up reply actions

Yes I erred considerably there

She’s the type that will take it in good humor though I think and if not I don’t want her anyway because if she can’t put up with my drunk rants there’s just no hope in the relationship

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by Corco on Oct 25, 2008 11:31 AM PDT up reply actions

and I don't understand why I kept bidding her good luck

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by Corco on Oct 25, 2008 11:31 AM PDT up reply actions

I do like that you wished her good luck! It's sweet and funny.

by royalcurve on Oct 25, 2008 11:48 AM PDT up reply actions

Well, there's taking drunken rants in good humor

and then there’s not going out on a date with someone whose opening salvo in the Battle of Woo is “slightly pretty.”

Call this one a learning experience.

J.K.L.

by Aaron Campeau on Oct 25, 2008 12:26 PM PDT up reply actions

If this is the case I have had dozens of learning experiences

I need to block the internet and the phone from myself when I’m drunk

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by Corco on Oct 25, 2008 12:35 PM PDT up reply actions

They need to make Facebook equivalent of iGoggles.

J.K.L.

by Aaron Campeau on Oct 25, 2008 12:39 PM PDT up reply actions

You should have to pass some sort of captcha test to use it, text messages and LL when drunk.

by Kirsten Schlewitz on Oct 25, 2008 4:15 PM PDT up reply actions

The captchas should be harder for Facebook, texts and e-mail than LL, though.

J.K.L.

by Aaron Campeau on Oct 25, 2008 4:21 PM PDT up reply actions

Group texting appears to be a terrible idea and not nearly as hilarious in the morning.

by Robert on Oct 26, 2008 2:43 PM PDT up reply actions

I'm surprised you didn't bid her adieu.

by Kirsten Schlewitz on Oct 25, 2008 12:09 PM PDT up reply actions

That's actually a good point

I have been known to say adieu in drunk rants before

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by Corco on Oct 25, 2008 12:16 PM PDT up reply actions

My wife just said you should never, ever x 50, say "slightly pretty" to a woman.

Me, I’m just laughing at you.

by Sec 108 on Oct 25, 2008 12:19 PM PDT up reply actions

All I can do is laugh

and hope I can leverage it to work in my favor

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by Corco on Oct 25, 2008 12:20 PM PDT up reply actions

Nah, you're boned.

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on Oct 26, 2008 8:14 AM PDT up reply actions

and Burned

I really appreciate you telling me how you feel and I know how hard that is for most guys (even though you were drunk), but I’m kind of in a relationship with a guy from back home. I’ll see you in class on monday…have a good weekend.

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by Corco on Oct 25, 2008 9:26 PM PDT up reply actions

OUCH! I hated that speech, I'm so glad I'm married.

Corco, I’ve never met you but I’m looking forward to the day. First beer is on me, but no jukebox.

by dpseadv on Oct 25, 2008 9:43 PM PDT up reply actions

Horse shit.

The long distance excuse is one of the most unimaginative. You’d think that being online she could have taken her sweet time to come up with something less lame.

by Double06 on Oct 25, 2008 10:08 PM PDT up reply actions

"I'd love to go out with you,

but my father’s one and only dying request was that I don’t see people who hit on me via drunk facebook messaging."

by Liebkartoffel on Oct 25, 2008 11:29 PM PDT up reply actions

She would be the first girl in the history of the internet to have her relationship status listed as single if she were in a relationship

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by Corco on Oct 26, 2008 12:47 AM PDT up reply actions

Bullshit.

I have a girl who listed herself as singler thoughout a 3 month fucking relationship because she didn’t want to “hurt my feelings” or some BS. Tell me how that makes sense. GAHHH.

54!

by joof on Oct 26, 2008 2:24 AM PDT up reply actions

Though of course, we had a thing for 2 monthes before she started going out with that other guy, and then I coached her throught the breakup.

I’m either the nicest guy alive, a total tool, or both. Fuck my life.

54!

by joof on Oct 26, 2008 2:25 AM PDT up reply actions

Ohh, and though this is the third thing in a row...

I’m still persueing her. What kind of retard am I? Damnit.

54!

by joof on Oct 26, 2008 2:26 AM PDT up reply actions

At least you realize it.

by Kirsten Schlewitz on Oct 26, 2008 6:28 AM PDT up reply actions

I hated being that guy. "Soft landing guy" we called it.

Sometimes you even date for a hot minute, but they rarely work out. Soft place to land, pick ’em up dust ’em off, and BLAM! off to the races as soon as you put the pieces of their egos back together.

by dpseadv on Oct 26, 2008 9:51 AM PDT up reply actions

That's awful.

by royalcurve on Oct 26, 2008 3:21 PM PDT up reply actions

I call this priming the pump

by Sec 108 on Oct 27, 2008 9:08 AM PDT up reply actions

It measn that she still wants him but he wants to hook up with other girls while they're apart.

by Kirsten Schlewitz on Oct 26, 2008 6:30 AM PDT up reply actions

Oh man.

She’s “kind of” in a relationship. Suuuuure.
Second beer’s on me, Corco.

by royalcurve on Oct 25, 2008 10:11 PM PDT up reply actions

I'll take round three

and at least she let him down somewhat diplomatically and didn’t just cut him down.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Oct 25, 2008 11:12 PM PDT up reply actions

I appreciate her not letting me ask her out and get rejected as I would have basically been forced to do next time I saw her

Saved us both some embarassment

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by Corco on Oct 26, 2008 12:49 AM PDT up reply actions

She's stupid anyway

I went into class and acted like nothing had ever happened and engaged in the same random talk as normal and then she asked me why I was completely unfazed by her rejection of me

To which I said “You aren’t the first girl to reject me and you probably won’t be the last- there’s just no reason to give it a second thought”

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by Corco on Oct 27, 2008 11:54 AM PDT up reply actions

That doesn't make her stupid, just arrogant

Why SHOULD you be fazed by her rejection? You offered, it was rejected, life goes on.

DO NOT get sucked into games with this woman – don’t be surprised if she starts showing interest, however mild, one of these days soon. DO NOT ENGAGE. You gave the perfect answer to her question.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Oct 27, 2008 12:33 PM PDT up reply actions

I'm impressed.

Well done, Corco!

by ningwers on Oct 27, 2008 2:55 PM PDT up reply actions

I've always had the confidence once I've already been rejected

It’s like i feed off rejection

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by Corco on Oct 27, 2008 3:57 PM PDT up reply actions

Don't tell girls this.

by Kirsten Schlewitz on Oct 27, 2008 4:28 PM PDT up reply actions

I don't- that's ridiculous

Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Washingtonhighways.org

by Corco on Oct 27, 2008 4:32 PM PDT up reply actions

Because none of the rest of this was ridiculous.

by Kirsten Schlewitz on Oct 27, 2008 4:37 PM PDT up reply actions

touche

Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Washingtonhighways.org

by Corco on Oct 27, 2008 4:38 PM PDT up reply actions

Now if only you could harness that confidence pre-rejection...

by ningwers on Oct 27, 2008 10:04 PM PDT up reply actions

Oh god completely read this wrong.

by Kirsten Schlewitz on Oct 28, 2008 5:25 AM PDT up reply actions 2 recs

HAHA

Well that made that comment completely worthwhile.

by ningwers on Oct 28, 2008 6:31 AM PDT up reply actions

Yay Corco

by Dewey N on Oct 27, 2008 7:09 PM PDT up reply actions

I like how you bid her the "best of luck in [her]

forseeable future." The unforseeable future? All bets are off. Also, Christ, you’ve had a lot of practice drunk typing. Kudos.

by Liebkartoffel on Oct 25, 2008 11:35 PM PDT up reply actions

"slightly pretty but really awesome"

I’d avoid “slightly” and “but” in the future.

by ningwers on Oct 25, 2008 8:30 AM PDT reply actions

Sigh...

I’d also use the reply button.

by ningwers on Oct 25, 2008 8:30 AM PDT up reply actions

Yeah I was too drunk to be writing messages

Especially given that t his is the first time I have expressed my desires

Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Washingtonhighways.org

by Corco on Oct 25, 2008 8:37 AM PDT up reply actions

You can spin this...

If you get any reaction to the slightly pretty remark, simply tell her you wanted to be careful because you didnt want to scare her away by coming on too strong.

And of course, always blame being drunk. Spin that too in a Jerry Seinfeldish joke by saying you’re not like other guys, and an example would be that when drunk, you find girls less attractive instead of the common cliche. Better to do that in person or on the phone, though…gotta do it in a comedic bad joke punch line style.

by Slica on Oct 26, 2008 12:30 AM PDT up reply actions

Don't spin it, let it go.

Really. Nothing will be gained by rehashing it at this point. Just move on and act like it was no big deal.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Oct 26, 2008 12:37 AM PDT up reply actions

Agreed.

by ningwers on Oct 26, 2008 12:42 AM PDT up reply actions

And if she reacts to it?

Of course you let it go, but if the man gets put on the spot, he better be prepared with something or he’s gonna be sitting next to a middle aged bald dude for the remainder of his stats class.

by Slica on Oct 26, 2008 12:44 AM PDT up reply actions

That's the plan

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by Corco on Oct 26, 2008 12:48 AM PDT up reply actions

I suppose I could be a douche and ask her how the boyfriend is doing every day for t he rest of t he semester

But I won’t

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by Corco on Oct 26, 2008 12:53 AM PDT up reply actions

So I watched the Dr. Zoidberg press conference replay last night

and I came away with three impressions.

1. He’s absolutely unwilling to go on record as knowing anything about this team or what needs to be done…. every answer was, “I need to talk to the baseball people here and find out what they think.” This is unsatisfying, but smart.

2. He bullshits his way through interviews… often contradicting himself within the same answer… saying things like, “Character is great, but talent wins and winning fixes lots of clubhouse issues” and then hedging his bets by later saying that “character” does go in to his analysis of players. I can’t remember all the examples, but I noticed that whenever he was asked “Which is more important, A or B?” he would reply, “A is really important, but then so is B… so we have to do both.” This is both unsatisfying and irritating. I hope that his doublespeak is just for the press and that he is actually a credible guy with real opinions once the cameras are off.

3. He was practically licking the assholes of Howie and Chuck on either side of him. The one thing that came through loud and clear was that he will be a good company man and NEVER EVER blame his bosses for anything.

I was not really impressed… but he hasn’t done anything yet, so there’s nothing to really judge him on either.

by johnbai on Oct 25, 2008 4:21 PM PDT reply actions

Your first day on the job is rarely a good time to piss off your boss

by seattlebruin on Oct 25, 2008 4:49 PM PDT up reply actions

We need the Kevin Pritchard of baseball, because he gets guys you can love, but that are super talented.

Talented + Good Guy = Fan Favorite Superstar
Untalented + Good Guy = role player
talented + Bad Guy = Hated Superstar
untalented + bad guy = out of the sport.

54!

by joof on Oct 26, 2008 2:29 AM PDT up reply actions

I've got this cynical opinion that keeps chirping at me from the back of my brain.

I’m about to get an icepick and lobotomize that fucker, ‘cause he’s no fun and is pissing me off. No way I’m going to give voice to him, because he’s no fun and just wants to bring everybody else down to his level.
I’m hoping Dr. Z is just a political badass who is so smart he’s already laying the groundwork to make C & H take all the credit for every move he makes from now until the World Series, which due to an unusual move by Selig will be the M’s over the Yankees. After we beat Oakland and Anaheim in the playoffs. With walkoffs and Jamie Moyer wins in every game. Because in my world that’s how we roll like that!

by dpseadv on Oct 26, 2008 9:59 AM PDT up reply actions