And The New GM Of The Seattle Mariners Is None Other Than Dr. Zoinks
I don't know that there's been an official announcement as of yet (edit: announcement!), but according to KJR, Jack Zduriencik has been hired as the team's new GM. He's coming over from Milwaukee, an organization that greatly benefited from his excellent work but that sadly didn't pay him enough to afford a mirror.
It's tempting to write this off as just the latest in a long string of old white guy hirings by the suits in charge, but while Zoinks is old, and white, and hired, he doesn't look like he sucks, which should set him apart from the previous regimes. It's almost impossible to overstate how much he's done for the Brewers over the years. That's a homegrown organization, and Zoinks has had a hand in acquiring a lot of that talent. He is one of the most important reasons why they are where they are today, and that kind of ability to hoard and develop good young players should serve the Mariners well as they look to rebuild.
Zoinks looks to be a terrific evaluator of talent, and I imagine he's a big proponent of developing from within. What he isn't is a brainy math kid with an Ivy League degree and a healthy contempt for having a normal circadian rhythm. It's easy to see why he did well in the interviews. He speaks Armstrong's language. You're not going to see him come in here and build his own DiamondView database, or talk everyone's ear off about the importance of replacement level or swinging strikes. That's not his thing. He's an old school guy - the most old school of the four finalists - and he takes an old school approach.
But he takes it successfully, which is what makes me okay with this decision. I'm not ecstatic. I'm content. Zoinks is a safe hire. Aside from presumably bringing in a bunch of his own guys to re-stock the scouting department, he's not going to rock the boat. He's not going to tell the executives "I'd like you guys more if you would just do everything differently than you do now." A lot of the thinking processes are probably still going to be the same. The information going into those processes is just going to be better, which should get this team going in the right direction. Which is really what we've all wanted for years. Bavasi could never do it. Zoinks, however, appears to be capable.
So it's done. We may not have the GM we've always dreamed of, but the one we have now is a hell of a lot closer than the one we had before, which is progress, no matter how you look at it. Progress. Finally, progress. Will it be enough? No way to say for now. I have some reservations about the Zoinks administration, and I won't be fully on board until it wows me. But this man makes us better, and if he's willing to listen to statistical arguments* and apply more modern principles to his Major League roster-building than the last guy, then the entire organization should be in pretty good shape going forward. The man knows talent. We don't have enough of it. It's a match made in necessity heaven.
Now to drop off my resume.

* which would require that he hire assistants who present him with statistical arguments since God knows nobody already in-house is able to
Comments
Dr. Zoinks is destined for LL Wiki.
Fans are typically idiots.
by The Typical Idiot Fan on Oct 22, 2008 12:11 PM PDT 0 recs
Wasn't Bavasi the scouting director of a incredibly talented LAD farm system?
by Robert on Oct 22, 2008 12:16 PM PDT 0 recs
Farm director
Logan White is the scouting director who drafted all of LA’s studly young kids. Bill was basically in charge of coordinating who played at what minor league level. The M’s current equivalent would be Greg Hunter.
So no.
by davidcameron on
Oct 22, 2008 12:19 PM PDT
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The things that annoys me about this hire is that it's a prime example of a bad process/good result outcome.
I like Zoinks as a candidate, and I think that everything you say about him being an improvement is true. I’m excited. The team should be relevant again soon. But I can’t shake the feeling that he was hired for all the wrong reasons, and that bothers me.
There’s also the fear that while he’s an asset to a well run organization that understands the value of both scouting and analytical processes, when given the authority to run things as he pleases he will surround himself with people that share a similar old-school mindset who don’t have the same eye for talent that he does.
Today I am trying to be optimistic (and succeeding for the most part) so I’m going to ignore the doubts I have for the time being. I think this makes the organization better, and I’m all for that.
J.K.L.
by acblue on Oct 22, 2008 12:19 PM PDT 0 recs
That whole "dark horse candidate" had my radar perking.
Comfortable as an old pair of shoes for Chuck and Howie maybe. Interviewing all these sharp young people and making an effort, but doubt creeps in and blam! Guy they understand shows up in the late rounds.
It’s like those veteran players for GM’s, safe. The team/individuals don’t live up to expectations? Look over here, this guy and that guy have done all these wondrous things in the past! They clearly aren’t focused right now/must be a clubhouse cancer in there/we need a leader! Not my fault!
Anyway, here’s to the future, I’m excited for his offseason moves! And that shirt says I don’t care what other people think!
"Sorry I hit you in the helmet Hank, I meant to hit you in the neck." Stan Williams to Hank Aaron.
by dpseadv on Oct 22, 2008 12:28 PM PDT 0 recs
I quote House
House – “You think being a rebel means you don’t care what people think? Go look at those Asian kids studying their butts off in the libraries. Those guys don’t care what people think.”
later
Wilson – “You really think those Asian kids don’t care what people think?”
House – “Or they’re just surrending to parental pressure. Either way, my point still stands.”
Fans are typically idiots.
by The Typical Idiot Fan on
Oct 22, 2008 12:35 PM PDT
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Whoops
I got my first warning…. I realized it was a spoiler after I posted it. Sorry guys, I’ll behave :(
by mariners124m on
Oct 22, 2008 3:41 PM PDT
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the shirt
I can’t decide but I think it either did cost less than 20 or more than 100 dollars.
by vj on
Oct 22, 2008 1:51 PM PDT
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I'm so confused now. Either he's thrifty, which is great! Or he spends too much on crap.
"Sorry I hit you in the helmet Hank, I meant to hit you in the neck." Stan Williams to Hank Aaron.
by dpseadv on
Oct 22, 2008 6:42 PM PDT
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My word, with the right wardrobe he could easily be a mad scientist.
by JI on Oct 22, 2008 12:32 PM PDT 0 recs
The press conference will be Friday at 10am
Also it looks like Pelekoudas is still sticking around.
by Jeff on Oct 22, 2008 12:32 PM PDT 0 recs
That chart is like my whole life
Only section A should be bigger and deeper and the peak in B should be about 1/4 the height.
by Smegmalicious on
Oct 22, 2008 1:18 PM PDT
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Welcome to life
Mariner fan-dom is really good preparation for the rest of life.
by Smegmalicious on
Oct 22, 2008 1:44 PM PDT
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Even if Zoinks does end up being unsuccessful
We will end up with
A.) Loads of young top flight homegrown
B.) A likely desire to go in a completely new statistically inclined direction with a need for lots of sexy assistants
by Robert on Oct 22, 2008 12:34 PM PDT 0 recs
My hope rests in that he's self-aware that he needs support (and lots of it to make up for lost time) in the statistical analysis arena
and does a Tampa-like hiring method of just picking off smart people wherever possible.
by Matthew on Oct 22, 2008 12:34 PM PDT 0 recs
From the other thread, but bears repeating:
My main worry with a candidate that is not as statistically inclined is that
we won’t be able to utilize the freely available talent market as best as we could.
by JI on Oct 22, 2008 12:37 PM PDT 0 recs
So somebody help me
What is the phonetic spelling of Mr Z’s name?
by mariners124m on Oct 22, 2008 12:45 PM PDT 0 recs
Even better for the mad scientist meme
This guy is going to give us lots of fodder.
by Matthew on
Oct 22, 2008 12:48 PM PDT
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I prefer this over Zoinks.
Because Scooby Doo sucked ass.
by Goose on
Oct 22, 2008 1:23 PM PDT
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My friend, a hardcore Brewers fan who seems to know a ton about this guy, says "Zur-EN-Chick"
Not sure if he’s right, but there’s that.
by Teej on
Oct 22, 2008 2:55 PM PDT
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"He's not going to rock the boat."
Unless developing talent counts as rocking the boat, which I tend to think DOES count.
We don’t know how he’s going to run the day-to-day operations and we don’t what he thinks about the importance of defense or the proper role for a guy like Morrow. Still, looking at what the Brewers have done, you’d have to think he’d pick some of that up just by osmosis.
I’m very optimistic about this, which almost scares me (just because I’m not seeing the horrific downside doesn’t mean it’s not there). As Jeff says, we’re a better organization today than we were yesterday. Progress.
by marc w on Oct 22, 2008 1:16 PM PDT 0 recs
Yeah
I like his propensity for challenging the norm with his draft picks (and how several of them have turned out well after all).
by Gomez on
Oct 22, 2008 9:56 PM PDT
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As every sportswriter in the greater Seattle area curses the Mariners
because now they have to learn how to spell “Zduriencik”.
I’m assuming they preferred Ng for that reason.
by craig3410 on Oct 22, 2008 1:22 PM PDT 0 recs
Easy.
Think ZD from Burien spells Ick (like JI does).
This signature space for rent.
by PositivePaul on
Oct 22, 2008 2:07 PM PDT
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Speaking of places that are tricky to pronounce
Stupid Burien
by Fogel on
Oct 22, 2008 3:01 PM PDT
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Huh?
How else could it be pronounced?
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on
Oct 22, 2008 3:02 PM PDT
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Wait...then how the hell is it actually pronounced?
J.P. Howell kindly requests that you please Bach the fuck up.
by esoteric on
Oct 22, 2008 3:17 PM PDT
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Byu-ree-ehn
not boo-ree-ehn.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on
Oct 22, 2008 3:19 PM PDT
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It's not that hard
You just have to remember to add his name to the spell checker app and you’re on your way. It’s not like there are a ton of words in the english language that start with ‘Zd’
by BFR on Oct 22, 2008 1:26 PM PDT 0 recs
The most important question nobody has asked is:
Will Jack agree to do the yearly USSM/LL get togethers?
by Goose on Oct 22, 2008 1:34 PM PDT 0 recs
I think I said this over at USSM
(which appears to be down at the moment) but I figured I’d be happy with Dr. Z — and I am — because when you’re that
good at identifying and developing talent, it covers a multitude of sins. If he proves to be half as good at identifying and developing his staff, we should do just fine. And at least this way, I think it’s a safe bet that L&A will fall in line behind him; if they’d hired somebody higher on our
list, I’d have laid odds that they’d have sabotaged the guy (or gal, in Ng’s case) and driven them out of town within three years. (And probably followed that up by hiring Chuck LaMar.)
by The Ancient Mariner on Oct 22, 2008 1:44 PM PDT 0 recs
We're back up!
I’m awesome. I now know exactly two freeBSD commands, but they’re the two I need to know, apparently.
by davidcameron on
Oct 22, 2008 1:52 PM PDT
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if the M's manage to get to/win a World Series in the next 10 years
USSM will need its own server farm.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on
Oct 22, 2008 1:58 PM PDT
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Uhh, yea
This hire pretty much guarantees that they won’t be trying to win it all next year, though, so we have some time before that’s a problem.
by davidcameron on
Oct 22, 2008 2:11 PM PDT
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Yeah, I didn't figure it'd be a problem soon
but with relatively routine news like this bringing the site down it’s probably good that the M’s are craptastic right now.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on
Oct 22, 2008 2:13 PM PDT
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Chances of Fontaine and Engle staying on?
Don't believe the lies Bill!!!! look at the sparkly ERA!!! Sparkly, Sparkly!!! - McCovey Chronicles
by Trenchtown on Oct 22, 2008 1:56 PM PDT 0 recs
Stolen from Mariner Central:
“They took the Pilots.
We took Zduriencik.”
This signature space for rent.
by PositivePaul on Oct 22, 2008 2:08 PM PDT 0 recs
So...who's gonna be the first to start up www.FireZduriencik.com?
by Goose on Oct 22, 2008 2:20 PM PDT 0 recs
I would say Logan, but he probably likes him because he's old-school.
Still since Dave doesn’t hate him, that might be enough.
J.K.L.
by acblue on
Oct 22, 2008 2:22 PM PDT
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If I were versed in photoshop...
I’d probably take that picture, and replace Zduriencik’s head with Dr. Zoidberg’s, maybe add a claw too, just going off the Dr. Zoinks thing.
Not that I’m making a statement by it, I just happen to like Futurama.
(and from now on I will imagine all questions he responds to and press conferences as being done in Zoidberg’s voice)
"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett http://mvn.com/marinersminors/
by JY on Oct 22, 2008 2:28 PM PDT 0 recs
USSM was a lot more positive about this.
But I’m happy.
Indie.
by Taylor H on Oct 22, 2008 2:35 PM PDT 0 recs
This is definitely a step forward.
BOOYA! You got Slurved!
by Slurvey on Oct 22, 2008 3:00 PM PDT 0 recs
And we already took two steps back this season, so that's out of the way.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.
by pdb on
Oct 22, 2008 3:03 PM PDT
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