10/2: Rays/White Sox, Part 2
Evan Longoria really is the most valuable asset in baseball.
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First Upton = Lazy reference
Brad Ziegler had a scoreless inning streak. Brad Ziegler had not met BJ Upton.
B.J. Upton doesn't like his steaks rare because it's too much work to cook them.
He just eats them right off the side of the cow.
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
This team is just too young and inexperienced to handle the pressure of playoff baseball
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
Evan Longoria - first player since Andruw Jones to homer in his first two playoff at bats?
or first player ever?
It's funny how Andruw Jones never developed much
9=8
by JI on Oct 2, 2008 1:09 PM PDT up reply actions
I miss the explicit racial caricature of the Braves' old logo.
At least we still have the Tomahawk Chop.
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
At least they aren't as bad as North Dakota or whoever it was that claimed the (local Native American tribe, if it was UND would have been the Sioux)
supported them using the nickname, then they took it back in public
Honestly, he looks like he's orgasming.
So it could be either, depending how weird he is in the bedroom.
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
What does it say about me that the Trail Of Tears makes me laugh?
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
Say what you will, but that's a quality painting.
It is a painting, yes?
One of the earliest color photographs.
It was hell getting them all to stand still for an hour to get the proper exposure.
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
Digital photography was in its infancy during the 1820s.
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
Is your memory just that good, or are you a whiz with search protocols?
And at least I didn’t contradict myself.
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
Yeah, that's what I was thinking right after I posted it
I couldn’t remember if he was in the games the rest of the postseason with them that year
You do realize that Pena was originally the #3 hitter, and was pulled, yes?
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
I thought people had to watch shows for them to win Emmys
Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Washingtonhighways.org
Remember when I freaked out over The Wire not being nominated for an Emmy?
This is the only thing that has ever been worse.
OK, the goddamn "apple-bottom jeans boots with the fur" song came out in June of 2007.
Please stop playing it so much.
But that song is awesome
Low is going to be a club song for the next ten years
There are things that are worse than Soulja Boy
I just can’t think of any
I disagree
I’m pretty sure that’s the only redeeming part of the “song”
I need some quick punctuation help
This division of labor makes it necessary for people to know exactly how much their goods are worth in comparison to another good; otherwise they would be unable to successfully trade.
Semicolon or comma?
Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Washingtonhighways.org
thanks
sometimes I write so many sentences I can’t t tell what’s correct and what’s not anymore
Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Washingtonhighways.org
Willy Aybar isn't a bad baseball player for a woman-beater.
Better than Bret Myers, at least.
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
Burgos is better at half of those things
by Jeff Sullivan on Oct 2, 2008 1:15 PM PDT up reply actions
Better hit-and-run player: Ambiorix Burgos or Jim Leyritz?
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
LONGO!!!
Jesus Christ, what a hell of a debut on the big stage.
Evan Longoria is batting 1.000 for the playoffs.
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
What a hacker.
He obviously needs more playoff experience.
And Vazquez's choking legend grows.
Maybe we can call up Williams for Swish and Vazquez this winter.
Yeah, not the best chant.
It's hard to convince people to let you eat them if you're an asshole. - Thingray
That's dis-gus-ting
GROSS GROSS GROSSGROSSGROSS
Would be my favorite chant if I were a fan of the Rays
Better than having the name be the word
by Jeff Sullivan on Oct 2, 2008 1:27 PM PDT up reply actions
Gross doesn't remotely sound like the work you were going for
9=8
by JI on Oct 2, 2008 1:29 PM PDT up reply actions
At least he tried and failed
I think Ehren on the side of caution is much worse
by Dewey N on Oct 2, 2008 1:31 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Damn right
We’re not Pena to make shitty puns
by Dewey N on Oct 2, 2008 1:43 PM PDT up reply actions 5 recs
Jayyyyy Peeee Hoooweelllll is the best.
Brad Ziegler had a scoreless inning streak. Brad Ziegler had not met BJ Upton.
"In play, run(s)"
Yay!
It's hard to convince people to let you eat them if you're an asshole. - Thingray
I fucking love this team. They're the anti-Mariners, the anti-Nationals.
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
It's disgusting, it's like Picture of Dorian Gray in there.
He’s melting.
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
If his previous two at bats are any indication,
he can do both
9=8
by JI on Oct 2, 2008 1:24 PM PDT up reply actions
I see a lot of similarities between him and Felix if Felix doesn't get smarter
by Jeff Sullivan on Oct 2, 2008 1:26 PM PDT up reply actions
Wait wtf
he’s struck out five consecutive batters, all swinging??
11Ks in 6IP for rays hitters.
Surely they cannot handle the glaring lights of afternoon October baseball.
That IS a remarkably high K total, to be fair.
Evan Longoria has singlehandedly won this game for them (if the score holds).
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
But surely not Worst Player in Baseball.
Not so long as Tony Pena, Jr. draws a paycheck in the major leagues.
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
He has doos D though.
Brad Ziegler had a scoreless inning streak. Brad Ziegler had not met BJ Upton.
I'm still trying to figure out how you get "doos" from "good" via keyboard typos.
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
Left hand one key to the left?
"Sorry I hit you in the helmet Hank, I meant to hit you in the neck." Stan Williams to Hank Aaron.
Nope, doesn't work either. Huh.
"Sorry I hit you in the helmet Hank, I meant to hit you in the neck." Stan Williams to Hank Aaron.
It would have to be two keys, and even then your pinky would be hanging off the far end of the capslock
I’m blaming alcohol.
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
Dave Campbell, I think.
I go to law school. Therefore, I have no life.
by andrewgolfsalot on Oct 2, 2008 1:51 PM PDT up reply actions
I'M SO FUCKING SICK OF WRITING PAPERS
Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Washingtonhighways.org
Is this still the one from last night?
"Sorry I hit you in the helmet Hank, I meant to hit you in the neck." Stan Williams to Hank Aaron.
no this is an econ paper due in an 1 hr and 20 minutes
given that I started this 6 page paper 50 minutes ago I’m a little pushed
Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Washingtonhighways.org
So you're saying you're stupid and irresponsible
by Jeff Sullivan on Oct 2, 2008 1:51 PM PDT up reply actions
No I'm saying this is how I get good grades
Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Washingtonhighways.org
I'm going to write my senior thesis the morning it's deu
Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Washingtonhighways.org
Good luck with that. Had a roommate that thrived under that kind of pressure. You can have it.
"Sorry I hit you in the helmet Hank, I meant to hit you in the neck." Stan Williams to Hank Aaron.
We want live updates
every six sentences you type
It's bullshit though
I’m in one comm class this semester and it only has one paper. All my other classes have 4-5 a piece
Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Washingtonhighways.org
they're big papers mostly :(
Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Washingtonhighways.org
4-5 x 3 = 12-15+1 = 13-16
Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Washingtonhighways.org
God I used to write 6-8 papers per quarter in college
and I was an engineer.
I hate doing work
I want to be a trucker when I grow up
Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Washingtonhighways.org
I've had that thought before, given your proclivity for driving roads.
Shit job right now, the restrictions the last few years seem to be the last nail in the coffin for the independants.
"Sorry I hit you in the helmet Hank, I meant to hit you in the neck." Stan Williams to Hank Aaron.
That's the probelm
I don’t want to work for fucking walmart
Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Washingtonhighways.org
I mean if I were a trucker
Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Washingtonhighways.org
Successful independant is a shit ton of work.
Couple of friends are truck drivers, one of them does all his own work, monster shop in Pasco. Constantly doing maintenance. Enjoys the work though so it’s not like he has to motivate himself to get it done. He does alright, the other guy, not so well.
"Sorry I hit you in the helmet Hank, I meant to hit you in the neck." Stan Williams to Hank Aaron.
Wait a minute, you're taking 3 classes per semester?
Three classes?!
That's a standard course load
Ask NOLA
Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Washingtonhighways.org
Stop complaining about work that isn't hard.
by Jeff Sullivan on Oct 2, 2008 2:00 PM PDT up reply actions
I bet you thought your degree was hard
by Graham MacAree on Oct 2, 2008 2:32 PM PDT up reply actions
I wonder if their English students have to take negative courses to pass
by Graham MacAree on Oct 2, 2008 2:49 PM PDT up reply actions
He's communications and I have a degree from there.
by Kirsten Schlewitz on Oct 2, 2008 2:52 PM PDT up reply actions
Not me. It was awesome.
But communications majors should probably spend as much time as possible working on student papers/television/etc. and doing internships to make up for the fact that your degree is super-easy to earn.
WOO!
I just like to defend “bad schools” sometimes.
I’m the guy who got into UW and chose WSU instead.
Puget Sound is not a bad school simply because Corco goes there.
Damn it.
by Kirsten Schlewitz on Oct 2, 2008 2:58 PM PDT up reply actions
The only defense I have here involves way too much immaturity.
by Kirsten Schlewitz on Oct 2, 2008 3:01 PM PDT up reply actions
no 4
3 3-5 page papers and then 1 class with 1 paper
Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Washingtonhighways.org
3-5 page papers are cake.
If you’d like to write my 40-60 page brief, let me know.
I go to law school. Therefore, I have no life.
by andrewgolfsalot on Oct 2, 2008 2:05 PM PDT up reply actions
If that's the actual length of them
I have written more since Sunday then he’ll have to write all semester.
But you enjoy your work, no?
"Sorry I hit you in the helmet Hank, I meant to hit you in the neck." Stan Williams to Hank Aaron.
I actually thought he was talking about Matthew's day job for some reason
by Jeff Sullivan on Oct 2, 2008 2:13 PM PDT up reply actions
Dollar is getting stronger on the Euro.
Just saying.
Could? It's not an optional thing
That’s a goddamn requirement in my line of work
If you went over there
it could be equal fair play
9=8
by JI on Oct 2, 2008 2:50 PM PDT up reply actions
I can't go on vacation?
I’ve got bad news about the last week of October.
by Jeff Sullivan on Oct 2, 2008 2:28 PM PDT up reply actions
I have this fear that you'll leave and never come back
because this team has done awful things to you.
But they have Kahlil Greene
you said yourself that you wanted to write about Kahlil Greene
The Padres pretty much sued Khalil Greene for $1 million or so on Tuesday.
I have a feeling he isn’t long for San Diego.
Yeah, they filed an action to get back some of his salary
Arguing that his gross negligence and recklessness resulted in the injury that took him out of the lineup, and that they deserved the money back.
It’ll be interesting to see how it plays out. The White Sox ought to do the same thing to Carlos Quentin.
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
So incredibly stupid.
Sit him down and have a talk or whatever, but filing a claim over that much money?
They have the right, obviously, but it’s so stupid. It’s like going to arbitration and deriding a player and calling him awful to save a few hundred thousand dollars.
So this is really stupid
it’s like their trying to alienate one of their better players…
I’d be all for trying to get him cheap if Safeco wouldn’t utterly destroy his soul once and for all.
But hey, he’d get to play at US Cellular twice a year!
Wow, I wish I could round you guys up for a game.
Sitting and enjoying some pitchers while in a group is a very refreshing form of self medicating therapy. You guys sound like you could use a pick-me-up.
"Sorry I hit you in the helmet Hank, I meant to hit you in the neck." Stan Williams to Hank Aaron.
Since Sunday night I have been the happiest I've been in half a year
by Jeff Sullivan on Oct 2, 2008 2:14 PM PDT up reply actions
I will reach that point in about 2 weeks.
Remind me never to agree to post-season commitments again.
I know that.
That’s why I’m telling you to stop me next time.
End of the season? Or something I missed/not posted on LL?
"Sorry I hit you in the helmet Hank, I meant to hit you in the neck." Stan Williams to Hank Aaron.
I just realized the other night I have a completely different perspective of the team.
Than a large portion of the posters here. They’ve been on the radio in the background seems like my entire life. So their years of success seem like an oddity to me. That and time is making me cynical.
"Sorry I hit you in the helmet Hank, I meant to hit you in the neck." Stan Williams to Hank Aaron.
The season would be way easier on me if I didn't have to write about it all the fucking time
by Jeff Sullivan on Oct 2, 2008 2:21 PM PDT up reply actions
That's hard for me to comprehend.
I get it from the fan perspective, but the writing would seem to be a cathartic release. Especially given the response from your following here. Ever read Boys of Summer? Nice little memoir.
"Sorry I hit you in the helmet Hank, I meant to hit you in the neck." Stan Williams to Hank Aaron.
It's only cathartic when there's reason to be emotional
you try writing about a 7-4 loss to the Royals in July.
by Jeff Sullivan on Oct 2, 2008 2:29 PM PDT up reply actions
I wonder how much beer I will spill on my jersey
by Jeff Sullivan on Oct 2, 2008 2:33 PM PDT up reply actions
Why would I wear an autographed jersey?
by Jeff Sullivan on Oct 2, 2008 2:35 PM PDT up reply actions
Beer would evaporate before it touched that jersey anyway
by Graham MacAree on Oct 2, 2008 2:35 PM PDT up reply actions
Why would I wear an autographed jersey?
by Jeff Sullivan on Oct 2, 2008 2:35 PM PDT up reply actions
You don't have to be wearing something to spill shit on it
by Graham MacAree on Oct 2, 2008 2:36 PM PDT up reply actions
That would have to be one fuck of a spill to go into a different room and onto the wall
by Jeff Sullivan on Oct 2, 2008 2:38 PM PDT up reply actions
Going into that room would require several turns
by Jeff Sullivan on Oct 2, 2008 2:39 PM PDT up reply actions
And are flammable.
Wait, this doesn’t apply here.
by Matthew on Oct 2, 2008 2:40 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Under what circumstances would I grab a beer, stand up, run into my bedroom, and throw the beer at my window?
by Jeff Sullivan on Oct 2, 2008 2:41 PM PDT up reply actions
Burglar disruption?
Providing incentive for a, uh, “houseguest” to maybe hit the road, and that maybe you’ll call or something?
Like I said, my perspective on the team is different.
I think I’m doing to drop it, I’m not comfortable satisfying my curiosity if I’m asking you to relive the season to do it.
"Sorry I hit you in the helmet Hank, I meant to hit you in the neck." Stan Williams to Hank Aaron.
I get where you're coming from
I love baseball too. I just hate having to write about it sometimes.
by Jeff Sullivan on Oct 2, 2008 2:34 PM PDT up reply actions
The response by his following was to all stop caring about the Mariners and what he wrote
and instead resort to putting 850 posts per day in an off-topic thread. I can see how that would get annoying after about three days.
Exactly. I recall a lot of involved discussions of Zelda: Ocarina of Time and Banjo Kazooie
As well as The Who and The Wire.
And the Rays.
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
Oh, didn't realize it was like that.
Didn’t really work that way for me, so I didn’t know that’s what was going on.
"Sorry I hit you in the helmet Hank, I meant to hit you in the neck." Stan Williams to Hank Aaron.
The opening and closing is a page and a half
You can bull shit for another page and a half, you really only have to have content when you break the 3 page barrier.
9=8
by JI on Oct 2, 2008 2:07 PM PDT up reply actions
So....why don't umpires ever call that?
Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.
Relief Ace is coming in.
Brad Ziegler had a scoreless inning streak. Brad Ziegler had not met BJ Upton.
Relief Aces can turn into pumpkins at the worst and least expected times.
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
Also very team-oriented
you know, blaming the pitcher for giving up a hit instead of himself for not fielding better
Balfour and Cabrera apparently are less than fond of each other?
by Lents Park Homer on Oct 2, 2008 2:00 PM PDT reply actions
If Balfour had beaned O-Cab, the White Sox dugout would have emptied out to go pound on Cabrera some more.
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
It would make a great scene in a baseball movie.
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
It's a dome.
Just tell me that the crowd is there to see the Rays, and not just a bunch of tourists in White Sox jerseys.
Our crowds made plenty of noise before we moved to Safeco
9=8
by JI on Oct 2, 2008 2:15 PM PDT up reply actions
Safeco is full and quiet when the M's are good and the Trop is slightly less full and more enthusiastic
by Jeff Sullivan on Oct 2, 2008 2:17 PM PDT up reply actions
SafeCo is loud during the playoffs.
And it was actually really good during Morrow’s alrjheatguhe FUCK YOU BETEMIT
I should try going there when the team is good
the team needs to get good
by Jeff Sullivan on Oct 2, 2008 2:19 PM PDT up reply actions
I've still never been to Safeco.
The Kingdome, yes. But no Safeco. Sucks to live on the opposite side of the country growing up.
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
I agree with Matthew
I have gone to a LOT of M’s games the last couple of years. There is rarely anything to root for. A strike out here or a good play there. But nothing like the playoffs.
I remember Mike Cameron saying in 2001 that Safeco was “the best party in all of Seattle… that started at 7pm” (wink wink).
We have a few back-to-back 95 win seasons and SafeCo will be like that again. 100% full of passionate fans screaming and yelling without the use of the big board telling us to make “NOISE”.
The Kingdome was full and deafening during non-playoff games
What gives?
9=8
by JI on Oct 2, 2008 2:19 PM PDT up reply actions
Hey, remember the saxaphone player below the circular ramp by the railroad tracks?
"Sorry I hit you in the helmet Hank, I meant to hit you in the neck." Stan Williams to Hank Aaron.
He's still over by the railroad tracks at Safeco.
And then there’s the tuba player that sits on the steps at Qwest on the way to Safeco.
Screw you, Mariners. I'm back in football's loving arms.
I like that guy.
He’s been around quite a while.
I remember it being pretty lively from that point to when it was torn down
9=8
by JI on Oct 2, 2008 2:28 PM PDT up reply actions
The kingdome was full, and *sometimes* deafening
during each and every bat night giveaway, and several Fan Appreciation nights.
Favorite Ken Levine quote
“It is bat night here at the Kingdome ladies and gentleman. This is one giveaway you will never see at Yankee Stadium. We live in a kinder gentler place here in the northwest.”
According to Gameday, Evan seems to have a nice strike zone.
"Sorry I hit you in the helmet Hank, I meant to hit you in the neck." Stan Williams to Hank Aaron.
Stop it, Evan
You’re destroying Ozzie’s fragile psyche
by Lents Park Homer on Oct 2, 2008 2:07 PM PDT reply actions
Longoria is a positively charged ion, the ball is negatively charged.
It flees from him in all situations.
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
Evan Longoria
Also team equipment manager and flies the team jet
by Lents Park Homer on Oct 2, 2008 2:13 PM PDT up reply actions
Man he was pounding the zone inside on Anderson.
"Sorry I hit you in the helmet Hank, I meant to hit you in the neck." Stan Williams to Hank Aaron.
Fuck these guys. Seriously, I'm going to walk around the South Side tonight wearing a Rays cap.
O/U on days until my body is found in a dumpster?
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
His performance at the plate would drop off dramatically.
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
I set it on a tee for you, Jeff. I'm disappointed that you didn't at least take a hack.
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
So wait
You would be killed and dropped in a dumpster. Your spirit would then go on to haunt Ken Griffey Jr.
Even if we could tell that Griffey was being haunted, and that you were responsible, this would in no way allow us to pinpoint the day on which your body was found, because we couldn’t be certain of when the haunting began. In order to know when your body was found, we would need somebody here to either be a member of the Chicago PD. But we know nobody here is a policeman, because a policeman would have reported some of us for things we have said. Unless he is a dirty policeman, but those only exist in The Toxic Avenger …
by Jeff Sullivan on Oct 2, 2008 2:32 PM PDT up reply actions
I'll still take Reynolds over anyone ESPN or FOX could offer.
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
Jason Bartlett looks alarmingly competent in his plate approach today.
Clearly the Ray’s MVP this seasons.
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
Prediction: B.J. Upton deigns not to remove the bat from his shoulders.
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
Whatever, man. Have a heart -- his arms were tired.
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
B.J. Upton has it harder than Rocco Baldelli.
With Rocco the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.
With B.J. neither the spirit nor the flesh are really up for the job.
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
LAGGARD MCSHAMBLESLOW, R.J.
LAGGARD MCSHAMBLESLOW.
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
But the new one has no character.
You can’t make out who it is at this size. The Maddon Bear had character and was instantly recognizable.
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
WS give up.
Dotel in.
It's hard to convince people to let you eat them if you're an asshole. - Thingray
Beej is trying to be too much like his hero jeter.
Brad Ziegler had a scoreless inning streak. Brad Ziegler had not met BJ Upton.
He doesn't swing at stuff out of the zone.
by R.J. Anderson on Oct 2, 2008 2:33 PM PDT up reply actions
Man, how did Rocco lay off that curveball?
"Sorry I hit you in the helmet Hank, I meant to hit you in the neck." Stan Williams to Hank Aaron.
Perhaps you could eat and watch simultaneously.
9=8
by JI on Oct 2, 2008 2:38 PM PDT up reply actions
Can you reach google from where you are sitting?
9=8
by JI on Oct 2, 2008 2:41 PM PDT up reply actions
Someone should have brought you a sandwich.
by Kirsten Schlewitz on Oct 2, 2008 2:43 PM PDT up reply actions
And that was Robert.
Shit, now I crave poutine.
I wonder if Grant Green can do the same...
He’s been compared to Longoria and Tulo. Longoria is having one helluva year.
BOOYA! You got Slurved!
He choked in his last at-bat
Let them walk him when his team needed some run production.
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
I want Wheeler to hit Pierzynski in the head and I want that head to explode like a cheap kung fu movie.
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
Are there any good pics of Maddon with the mohawk?
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
Feh. Only one that I care about is the Brewers. And they're doomed.
Maybe CC will throw 15 innings today.
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"
I think this is another parody of that AZ guy from earlier in the season.
B.J. Upton's new nickname = "Laggard McShambleslow"

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