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OFFTOP 10.13.08 Garfield Edition

Nolamarinergirl1_tiny by NOLAmarinergirl on Comment 632 comments

I'm not usually one for a case of the Mondays, but it's only 8.49am and I'm already set to climb back into bed and hide from the world.  I couldn't wake up with my first alarm and then the second did not sing at the appropriate time.  My shuffle was dead, forcing me to listen to thumping baselines as I scooted along.  Water from residents oversoaking their balcony plants drenched me as I rode through the French Quarter.  Upon opening my scooter seat, I found that red beans and rice had leaked all over my bag (including my new 80-count box of tea).  As I hustled to make the six block walk, a cop stopped me to lecture me about riding on the sidewalk, causing me to clutch my dripping bag to my almost-new fleece, which will cause me to smell like chipotle for the rest of the day.  And then, upon checking my email, yay--two new job rejections!

 

Please, give me some good news, or at least tell me of your worst Monday horror stories.

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Read More: raining on monday, i miss seattle, go rays, why are people with phds so stupid, check out sc 1.0, compliment me on the color scheme, is this day over, yes i stalk you

Comments

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Not only is it Monday, which is bad in and of itself...

it is also Columbus Day doubling the shittiness.

All I can say is that, not unlike Janette Rankin who famously chimed “I love my country but I cannot vote for war”, I myself love my Phillies but I cannot root for Joe Blanton.

Cuba Si! Yanqi No!

by Patrick517 on Oct 13, 2008 12:29 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I don't have any Monday stories...

everyday is the same to me. Most of the time I don’t know what day of the week it is until I check LL and see the OFFTOP. I haven’t figured out if this is awesome or sad.

by brayden04 on Oct 13, 2008 7:53 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Sometimes it sucks

Like today when I read the Sunday train schedule and got on the wrong train for 30 minutes. I was busy reading a book I had just bought. Luckily my teammate says, “I can’t believe we’re still underground.” Then I realized it wasn’t Sunday :(

by brayden04 on Oct 13, 2008 8:01 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Uhhhhh...good news?

I don’t have any BAD news, but I’m afraid I can’t offer much good news – except to offer the quite possibly naïve assertion that the worst may, in fact, be behind you; that you’ve front-loaded all the crap from today into one hour and now it’s smooth sailing.

And honestly, job rejections are OK – at least you heard something. In my last bout with unemployment, I sent out about two to three resumes a day for about four weeks, and got exactly ONE response – the rest just vanished.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Oct 13, 2008 7:57 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

The tea has been saved.

Inside the box were eight individually wrapped cellophane packages.

by NOLAmarinergirl on Oct 13, 2008 8:10 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

oh and by the way nola

nice color scheme.

(I don’t really know what color scheme you’re referring to but I like to obey the tags when possible)

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Oct 13, 2008 8:16 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

You know what's incredibly annoying

is riding your bike to work and forgetting to pack work socks. So now I’ve got the dress shirt, black trousers, black shoes, and white socks combo going. sah-weeeeeeeet.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Oct 13, 2008 8:21 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

As well you should.

Macy’s opens in a half hour, and I will be there when the doors open. This is unacceptable.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Oct 13, 2008 8:25 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

The realization that I forgot socks hit me halfway to work

but since “halfway to work” means “at the bottom of a really big damn hill that I don’t want to ride up again” I just kept going.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Oct 13, 2008 8:30 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

It's the look of Elvis Costello

but he never did it with dress trousers and wing tips. He was more of a jeans/docs kinda guy.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Oct 13, 2008 8:29 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

So that Poltergeist DirecTV commercial

has the funniest disclaimer ever. At the bottom of the screen, when all the crazy ghost rays start flying out of the TV, in small print it says “NOT INTENDED TO DEPICT ACTUAL VIEWING EXPERIENCE”.

Which is disappointing, because I really thought DirecTV would be my source for supernatural portals; now I gotta find another one.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Oct 13, 2008 8:47 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I'm sick of how often it's getting shown.

Companies need to learn that after about 10 viewings of the same ad within a 2-day period, I will hate whatever they are selling. Geico does a brilliant job of mixing it up.

by Matthew on Oct 13, 2008 9:44 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I'm pretty tired of it too

The concept is great, but rotate them around a bit. The Geico ads are just unbelievably odd.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Oct 13, 2008 9:45 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

wow too large

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Oct 13, 2008 8:51 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

You know what sucks...

Using up the remaining vacation days so that you can move. And then catching a cold in the process. And having to come back to work after having missed a week to put out the fires that cropped up when you were gone…

I’ve got a massive cold and I’m having to try and figure out how to fix a broken SQL/ASP app first thing. Nevermind the fact that I lost about 20 hours of sleep last week as well.

T=1 It’ll probably be much, much higher by noon…

This signature space for rent.

by PositivePaul on Oct 13, 2008 9:23 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Man, and I thought waking up sucked.

Sorry to hear you’re going through all of that!

Screw you, Mariners. I'm back in football's loving arms.

by kevin_ess on Oct 13, 2008 9:27 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

but I now have black socks on

so things are looking up.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Oct 13, 2008 9:35 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I couldn't find my black socks even if I tried...

Of course, I normally wear white socks with my black shoes, which drives a lot of people crazy. But my feet pretty much hide in my cubicle all day so I don’t really care much either.

This signature space for rent.

by PositivePaul on Oct 13, 2008 10:09 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

As long as we're doing comics...

Random Wondermark of the day!

Screw you, Mariners. I'm back in football's loving arms.

by kevin_ess on Oct 13, 2008 9:27 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I know I said last week that I don't like internationals

But I probably like them better than Chris Iwelumo does.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Oct 13, 2008 9:39 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I like nothing about Ashley Cole

I don’t often hold grudges against athletes that move teams, but for some reason I want Ashley Cole to step on a sprinklerhead in training and rip his ankle to shreds.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Oct 13, 2008 9:44 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I know, I'm sorry

From now on, it’s all sunshine and kittens.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Oct 13, 2008 9:51 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Didn't think so

but I know you’ve been having a bad morning and the general sentiment was at odds with your desire to have a better day. Overthink? Me? What?

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Oct 13, 2008 9:56 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

That's a horrible morning

In happier news, t-148 minutes until I ask my first girl out for coffee without doing it via the internet in over 3 years

Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Washingtonhighways.org

by I'm NOT Corco on Oct 13, 2008 10:03 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Good luck.

Remember: don’t overthink it. Just do it.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Oct 13, 2008 10:05 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

This is the plan

I figure it’ll be easier if I generate a completely unrelated conversation and then segue into said situation

Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Washingtonhighways.org

by I'm NOT Corco on Oct 13, 2008 10:07 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Urbandictionary settled that

As much as I would like to do t his

Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Washingtonhighways.org

by I'm NOT Corco on Oct 13, 2008 10:12 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Given that she may not get it

It’s pretty hilarious

I’ll take the safe route

Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Washingtonhighways.org

by I'm NOT Corco on Oct 13, 2008 10:13 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Remember the joke arguement Jeff and I had?

I used some of those lines while breaking up with a GF because I was getting bored with the argument.

by Robert on Oct 13, 2008 10:15 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

How do you force wit?

And if you did, wouldn’t that be a good thing?

by Matthew on Oct 13, 2008 10:15 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

You force wit by being in an uncomfortable position and trying to be funny

despite the fact that the situation may not call for funny, but merely for genial, in order to appeal to someone. And it’s not a good thing. Look at any politician that tries to be funny – it NEVER works. (NO POLITICS – that’s just a generic example)

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Oct 13, 2008 10:21 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I'm debating

Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Washingtonhighways.org

by I'm NOT Corco on Oct 13, 2008 10:21 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I'd say get away from campus.

Too many people pausing by those tables and saying hello.

by NOLAmarinergirl on Oct 13, 2008 10:25 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

That's what I was thinking

That leaves one technical dillemma though- she’s off campus and h as no car. Do I offer to pick her up or just expect her to appear at the coffeehouse?

Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Washingtonhighways.org

by I'm NOT Corco on Oct 13, 2008 10:26 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Yeah, you're right

Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Washingtonhighways.org

by I'm NOT Corco on Oct 13, 2008 10:28 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Or it could be a meet there and he offers a ride home situation

which strikes a good balance between formal and not.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Oct 13, 2008 10:29 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

That's what I was thinking

Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Washingtonhighways.org

by I'm NOT Corco on Oct 13, 2008 10:29 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

As long as she has a way to get there.

If she lives in walkable distance to a coffee shop, go there.
And make it more like 5:30pm.
Then if it works out dinner, and then drive her home.

by NOLAmarinergirl on Oct 13, 2008 10:30 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

actually no

I’m having trouble looking at this rationally but even I know there’s no reason to do that

Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Washingtonhighways.org

by I'm NOT Corco on Oct 13, 2008 10:46 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

nononononono

remember I am the voice of reason here.

by NOLAmarinergirl on Oct 13, 2008 10:49 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Nope. Too much.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Oct 13, 2008 10:46 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I'm going to shoot for sometime this evening

or tomorrow evening

like 7 or 8 ish

Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Washingtonhighways.org

by I'm NOT Corco on Oct 13, 2008 10:22 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

What time is a good time then?

I always thought dinner was 5-6

Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Washingtonhighways.org

by I'm NOT Corco on Oct 13, 2008 10:30 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

This is disturbing

Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Washingtonhighways.org

by I'm NOT Corco on Oct 13, 2008 10:31 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

It's a very interesting phenomenon.

Go to a restaurant at 5.30 and notice the age of the crowd. They’ll all be older than your parents.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Oct 13, 2008 10:32 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Of course not

Mariners games are the best place.

by Robert on Oct 13, 2008 10:31 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Baseball games

are the worst place for a first date!

by brayden04 on Oct 13, 2008 5:39 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Haha

I didn’t take it badly, it made me laugh. Ok, with every girl there are going to be better/worse places for a first date. If a baseball game is a good place for a first date with a girl, then that’s awesome and that girl is awesome. But I think for the majority of girls a baseball game is not a good place for a first date.

by brayden04 on Oct 13, 2008 7:34 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I think it takes quite a bit to offend me

I mean, where you have meetings and such I have people screaming obscenities at me. So I’m kinda used to it.

by brayden04 on Oct 13, 2008 7:42 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Ha.

I think one of the funniest heckles (what’s the word for this?) I’ve ever received was in Provo, Utah. I was playing a game there and someone in the stands yelled, “Hey 24, they don’t get any sun in Seattle do they??”

I looked into the stands and everyone there was lighter skin than me. I honestly wasn’t sure how to react.

by brayden04 on Oct 14, 2008 3:54 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

No.

Any place that inhibits conversation is a bad place for a first date. Jazz Alley would be a perfectly fine 2nd or 3rd date.

by Matthew on Oct 13, 2008 9:21 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Chuck Mangione was playing.

My date and I were too busy reveling in his ability to effortlessly hit a note twenty lines above the staff. We just muttered “wow” every few minutes.

by BrianL on Oct 13, 2008 9:23 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Despite that, we managed to stick together for a while.

We had so much fun it spawned a second date shortly afterwords.

by BrianL on Oct 13, 2008 9:31 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Yes.

Her uncle worked at a propane retailer. Never approved of my hippie music.

by BrianL on Oct 13, 2008 10:45 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

"Dad, can I get a gun rack for my bike?"

“Bobby, if you weren’t my son I’d hug you.”

Screw you, Mariners. I'm back in football's loving arms. t going well.

by kevin_ess on Oct 14, 2008 8:29 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

It's fantastic.

Definitely Batdorf’s best blend by a damn sight.

J.K.L.

by acblue on Oct 13, 2008 12:10 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Coming to a close

I just need to find someplace that sells that Tropicana Twister in 6 1-liter packs

by Robert on Oct 13, 2008 10:36 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Tropicana Twister is fantastic.

Nowadays though, I’m on a Sunny D “Smooth” kick.

by Goose on Oct 13, 2008 10:38 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Perfect, then you'll know

if she just doesn’t want to have coffee with you.

by johnbai on Oct 13, 2008 10:26 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Exactly

Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Washingtonhighways.org

by I'm NOT Corco on Oct 13, 2008 10:27 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Corco's off

40% chance I ask and she says yes
35% I chicken out
25% I ask and she says no

Determined, Jonesing Commentor | Proud proprietor of Washingtonhighways.org

by I'm NOT Corco on Oct 13, 2008 10:52 AM PDT to parent up