Let The Sexual Innuendo Competition (SIC) BEGIN!

by Brick on Sep 4, 2007 3:06 PM PDT Comment 60 comments

In a matchup we're destined to lose, "Ho" tries to outduel the opponent's Wang in a fight to see who can come out on top. Will the Wang be able to get his balls on the ground as he usually does, or will Seattle knock the Yankees' Wang around until Torre has to pull out due to the M's going too deep? We'll see if either of these pitchers blow their wad too early, as the M's and Yankees try to castrate the playoff hopes of the other.

This is just a start, but how far can we take this sexual innuendo thing?

If I'm the only one finding humor in a Ho/Wang matchup, so be it...

I hope it can stay somewhat clean, but whatever happens at lookoutlanding stays at lookoutlanding.

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Chien-Ming is gonna ass-rape Horatio

Am I doing this wrong?

by sammy on Sep 4, 2007 3:19 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

No

Impeach Gary Bettman

by Edanger6 on Sep 4, 2007 3:56 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

HoRam's contract pays him about 2.3 mil this year

Thats a lot of money to give a Ho, when all you get in return is some sucking

by Nick S on Sep 4, 2007 3:27 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

I like this one.

God. Dammit.

by Librocrat on Sep 4, 2007 3:45 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

yea

As do I.

If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he lucky?

by Brick on Sep 4, 2007 3:52 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

The Mariners' Big Richie's gonna RIDE THE BENCH

IFYOUKNOWWHATIMEAN

by Gomez on Sep 4, 2007 3:30 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

The question is

will this Ho suck hard enough for the Wang to come out on top?

by Llewdor on Sep 4, 2007 3:32 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Yank's Wang masterful, Ho left feeling sore

If M's win:
Ho Grinds Out Win, as Yanks' Wang Removed Early

Wang sputters, shrivels as Ho gets 'Money' win for M's.

If Yanks win:
Ho ponders career change, as Wang dominates

Wang comes up huge, Ho may be injured

by marc w on Sep 4, 2007 3:36 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Winner

"Players have two things to do. Play and keep their mouths shut." - Sparky Anderson

by Omerta on Sep 4, 2007 3:42 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Perfect.

by Jeff on Sep 4, 2007 4:02 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

wow, someone's been thinking about this

too much!

"You just got AJ-aculated on!"

by wwbaker3 on Sep 4, 2007 4:12 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Ho escapes as Mariners blister Wang

by Gomez on Sep 4, 2007 3:39 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Ho leaves early as M's hit Wang hard.

Yu Bet! Cuba, si! Yanqi, NO!

by Patrick517 on Sep 4, 2007 3:41 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Ho not provided with (run) protection,

Wang's dominance like slap across the face.

If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he lucky?

by Brick on Sep 4, 2007 3:44 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Wang comes too close to face, tempers flare

Ho too tight and inside, ARod responds with huge blast.

DuRocher for Heism....er, Cy Young!

by niko on Sep 4, 2007 3:46 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

... Jeter's all over infield

by Gomez on Sep 4, 2007 3:48 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

A-Rod Finds A Hole;

Hits Ho Hard - While Wang Dominates the mound.

God. Dammit.

by Librocrat on Sep 4, 2007 3:49 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Wang finally pulled off after poor effort

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Sep 4, 2007 3:50 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Well...

I think that if Wang can keep the Sea-men out of the air and safely on the ground, and Ho sucks hard enough and long enough, then we might have to put up with some White mop-up work.

but that could all change if we see a Big Sexy Funk Blast (providing its not too premature). That could cause Wang to just yank himself

by Paranoid Android on Sep 4, 2007 3:50 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Wang issues Funk Blast

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Sep 4, 2007 3:52 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Jeter picks up Wang

Arod scores again off a Ho

I fucking hate you Mariners

by kentroyals5 on Sep 4, 2007 3:52 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

hahahaha

hahahahahahah

If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he lucky?

by Brick on Sep 4, 2007 3:54 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

A-Rod Pounds Ho

Wang leaves bruised after beating.

God. Dammit.

by Librocrat on Sep 4, 2007 4:03 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Arod has Ho's number as he goes deep

Jeter cant get things going against Ho, but behind Wang helps him rise to the challenge

I fucking hate you Mariners

by kentroyals5 on Sep 4, 2007 4:01 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Wang backdoors M's, Ho feeling desperate

CM Wang rode a new backdoor slider to 8ks as the Yankees beat the M's 7-1. The lefty-heavy M's line-up was befuddled by Wang's new look. Horacio Ramirez said he felt 'desperate' after his elbow began hurting - the same elbow that caused a lengthy DL stint earlier in the season.
Alex Rodriguez mighty blast off Ramirez staked the Yankees to a 2-0 lead in the first. 'I took that one on the chin,' said Ramirez of his 1-0 fastball.
Ben Broussard was impressed by Wang's performance. "We've seen him before, and we knew Wang was good, but maybe not all that remarkable. Now? Man, he was rock solid all night. I wonder if he's had any work done [on that arm], or if it was all just a new gameplan. It was a big difference."

by marc w on Sep 4, 2007 4:02 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Ho gets wrapped around the foul pole

by Llewdor on Sep 4, 2007 4:04 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Ho Beats off Yank's Wang

This is fun.

God. Dammit.

by Librocrat on Sep 4, 2007 4:06 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Not unlike those already submitted:

Wang Up To Task, Ho Pounded As Yankees Erupt Early

by Jeff on Sep 4, 2007 4:07 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

It's tough

to have both 'up to task' and also 'erupt early' in that one...

It's like 'Ho stricken with rare ailment, but still a great value pick-up'

by marc w on Sep 4, 2007 4:16 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

That's true.

I clearly cannot hold a candle to your euphemistic genius.

by Jeff on Sep 4, 2007 4:18 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Awwwwww

Thanks.

At least it's not some strange kink.
"Uh yes, do you have any videos where the scenes are like 30 seconds max, and are followed by deeeliciously painful dialogue/recriminations/looks?"
"Sounds like you should try 'Uncomfortable Silences 5' or 'So...You're Done? 7'. Of course, none hold a candle to 'I've Been Under a Lot of Stress 2.'

by marc w on Sep 4, 2007 4:25 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Wang and A-Rod Erupt

Ho Aborts Ballgame, get's the clap... from the dugout.

God. Dammit.

by Librocrat on Sep 4, 2007 4:32 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Did somebody say innuendo?

Hard work never killed nobody, but I won't take my chances.

by JAH on Sep 4, 2007 4:35 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

I think you're doing it wrong.

"Hello ladies! Have you met Charlton Jimerson and the twins?"

by Thingray on Sep 4, 2007 4:37 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Apparently so.

My attempt to post a The Todd video has failed utterly. <object width="425" height="350">

Hard work never killed nobody, but I won't take my chances.

by JAH on Sep 4, 2007 4:44 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Son of a bitch!

HTML I hate you.

Hard work never killed nobody, but I won't take my chances.

by JAH on Sep 4, 2007 4:45 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

For an exciting change of pace

Ho Rams Wang.

This is my favorite thread ever.

God. Dammit.

by Librocrat on Sep 4, 2007 4:36 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

I'm glad

I could create something that is somebody's favorite something ever.

If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he lucky?

by Brick on Sep 4, 2007 4:58 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Bad beaning?

Yankees Lose Rod to Ho

by abelard on Sep 4, 2007 4:36 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

uhh. i got another

http://cache.uspresswire.com/image/thumb/300-300/2186322.jpg

by marinerschas2 on Sep 4, 2007 4:47 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

shoot

by marinerschas2 on Sep 4, 2007 4:48 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

"Ho gets slapped around by Yankees, but

M's throttle Wang.

Ho was bruised and battered after taking a ball to the face, but nothing could wipe the smile from his face on a night in which the Mariner line-up ganged up on the Yankee Wang. Wang pulled out early as he spent most of the night offering up meatballs to the ravenous Mariner offense, who did all they could to beat the juice out of Wang early.

by sammy on Sep 4, 2007 4:56 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

i could be wrong

but i think you mean...

M's slap around Wang as Yankees throttle Ho in a high scoring affair finding the Mariners victorious, 15-13, in a rain-delayed 3 innings ballgame today.

If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he lucky?

by Brick on Sep 4, 2007 5:00 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

although

I guess it should be more like 5 innings because 3 wouldn't count as a win, now would it...

If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he lucky?

by Brick on Sep 4, 2007 5:01 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

He's just that cheap a ho

by Llewdor on Sep 4, 2007 5:13 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Al Leiter is shocked

because Wang gives up more runs when runners are on base?

by sammy on Sep 4, 2007 5:16 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

whoops, wrong thread

by sammy on Sep 4, 2007 5:16 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Pre-Game Headline:

Wang pumped up - ready to take on Sea Men.

by Emerald on Sep 4, 2007 5:28 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

You know how I know your gay?

You'd rather play with Wang than a Ho.

by DCMariner on Sep 4, 2007 5:46 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Wang comes up huge,

pulls out before it gets too messy. He didn't realize that the Mariners offense was barren.

by HARRYP09 on Sep 4, 2007 6:15 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Sexson has been taking Wang deep . . .

all season long.

Yu Bet! Cuba, si! Yanqi, NO!

by Patrick517 on Sep 4, 2007 6:38 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Late entry, but...

Wang got in a steady rythym early, cruising along until hitting Big Sexy in the face with an errant pitch. "I was trying to concentrate on the game, but I just released a little too early," said Wang, who was never quite the same.

Ho tried to retaliate, but the feeble attempt backfired as the Yanks spanked Ho all around the park, taking advantage of the Bronx's spacious alleys.

by david h on Sep 4, 2007 9:14 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Way too long.

Things did not look good for Ho facing the Yankee's Wang. Ho appeared tight at first but loosened up after letting the Yankee catcher go deep. Wang's stuff was hot, as usual, scattering Sea Men hits all over the yard. Things remained tight until the 6th frame when ARod took Ho over the left field fence. "That one hurt." said a battered Ho after the game. "He really got good wood on that moon shot. I was hoping for a little comebacker but he really unloaded on me."

Despite the steady scoring, the Yankee's Wang remained strong. Wang looked a bit deflated after allowing a deep shot in the 6th, but had his way with the opposing catcher by forcing him into a DP.

Ho left in the 6th but Wang's boys weren't done by a long shot. They scored 7 times in the 7th to turn Ho's strong start into another bad outing. "We didn't think we'd score once Ho left." Jeter said. "Most of the guys here have had good luck with Ho in the past, I'm the lone exception. We felt pretty good once Cano was able to score off Ho. ARod can take almost anyone deep, but once Cano almost scored we knew Ho was done."

"I tried to hold them back for as long as I could," said a weary Ho afterwards, "but they were too strong. You can fool around with these guys, but sooner or later one of them is going to score and if you fool around too long, it's really going to hurt."

by PDXTai on Sep 4, 2007 9:29 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs