The Richest Player In Baseball?

Yeah, he used to play for the Mariners, but it's probably not the guy you're thinking of. Unless you're really good at trick questions, I guess. Or you beat me to the article, in which case, get a life, loser. Anyway:

In case you were curious, White has all of 9.2 Major League innings under his belt, during which he's allowed 25 baserunners and 18 runs. So it's ironic that they only possible way he could crack an ML roster is if he were to buy a franchise, re-name it the Matt Whites, and stock the roster with himself, that other Matt White who came up with the D-Rays, Matt Whiteside, and whichever players remained from the original team after he booted a bunch of guys for making fun of his roundabout path to the big leagues. As far as serendipitous investments are concerned, this one's right up there with Bret Boone and whoever manages the Beastie Boys. These rock quarries are like $50,000 lottery tickets! Geological surveying is the new black.

I can't wait to see what effect this has on Matt White's future contract negotations should he ever become a moderately valuable player. Which, of course, he won't, so my imagination's dealing strictly in the realm of the hypothetical, but I have to think it'd be a pretty big story if an arbitrator ruled against White and decreed that he must pay his employer a seven-figure salary.

Given that White is, for all intents and purposes, capable of paying his own way from now until the year ninefinity, Jeffrey Loria has to be all over this.