Great New York Times Headline

by Nadingo on Dec 20, 2007 7:02 AM PST

Giuliani in Hospital With Flu-Like Symptoms

Isn't "flu-like symptoms" baseball code for a hangover?

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guiliani

America's Mayor"

by Bearskin Rugburn on Dec 20, 2007 7:11 AM PST reply actions

Americas Playah

Sounds like Mayor.

Impeach Gary Bettman, Bill Bavasi, George McPhee, and George Bush

by Edanger6 on Dec 20, 2007 11:08 AM PST up reply actions

I won't take the bait, I won't take the bait...

Yesterday's Pants

by Katal LM on Dec 20, 2007 7:13 AM PST reply actions

The Giuliani press conference, announcing his flu

MAYOR GIULIANI: I have come down with a case of the flu. There is no doubt in my mind that this flu was caused by the September 11th attacks - if not for those attacks, everything would be the same as it was, and I'd be the hale and hearty mayor that singlehandedly turned NYC from a cesspool into the center of the universe, but 9/11 changed everything. Including my health.

In addition to the horrible attacks of 9/11, I also have no doubt that this country's porous borders also contributed to my flu. What this country needs is zero-tolerance on immigration, and then the flu will be eradicated, just like terrorism has been eradicated since 9/11.

REPORTER: But surely, Mr. America's Mayor, you are the son of immigrants as well? Giuliani's an Italian name, after all?

GIULIANI: I am an American - a 9/11 preventing, terrorist-chasing American. What my forefathers did is of no concern - I'm all about American issues, and American people. And preventing 9/11.

AMERICAN PEOPLE, in unison: (beating heads against desks in frustration)

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 20, 2007 8:24 AM PST reply actions

The Guiliani script: noun, verb, 9/11

repeat.

Yesterday's Pants

by Katal LM on Dec 20, 2007 8:29 AM PST up reply actions

Cue Benny Hill music...

Airplane crashes, 9/11
Building smashes, 9/11
Conspirators Theorize, 9/11
Wars Materialize, 9/11
Mission Accomplished, 9/11
Nothing Accomplished, 9/11

"I restore a sense of childlike wonder to people's lives; you give them Zunes and Vista." -- Fake Steve Jobs to Borg employees

by PositivePaul on Dec 20, 2007 9:00 AM PST up reply actions

Did someone say Benny Hill Music?

Yesterday's Pants
A blog-thingy about the Mariners and stuff.

by BrettJMiller on Dec 20, 2007 3:16 PM PST up reply actions

so innapropriate

so hilarious.

Yesterday's Pants

by Katal LM on Dec 20, 2007 5:23 PM PST up reply actions

Ron Paul in 08

w00t w00t

by Diatribe on Dec 20, 2007 9:08 AM PST reply actions

that would be hilarious

by Bearskin Rugburn on Dec 20, 2007 9:50 AM PST up reply actions

Meh.

I'd rather have Ron Jeremy...

"I restore a sense of childlike wonder to people's lives; you give them Zunes and Vista." -- Fake Steve Jobs to Borg employees

by PositivePaul on Dec 20, 2007 9:57 AM PST up reply actions

I'd rather have Lyndon Larouche

by Bearskin Rugburn on Dec 20, 2007 9:59 AM PST up reply actions

I coulda had a V-8.

I overvalue prospects

by Thingray on Dec 20, 2007 10:01 AM PST up reply actions

Speaking of V8s

"I restore a sense of childlike wonder to people's lives; you give them Zunes and Vista." -- Fake Steve Jobs to Borg employees

by PositivePaul on Dec 20, 2007 10:16 AM PST up reply actions

Not bad.

I'm more of a late 60's, big-block kind of V-8 guy myself. Although with gas prices the way they are I could never afford to drive one.

I overvalue prospects

by Thingray on Dec 20, 2007 10:19 AM PST up reply actions

Yeah.

One of these would be pretty sweet:

Of course, going back a little further, but I've always irrationally loved these:

"I restore a sense of childlike wonder to people's lives; you give them Zunes and Vista." -- Fake Steve Jobs to Borg employees

by PositivePaul on Dec 20, 2007 10:22 AM PST up reply actions

I'd prefer one of these

Have got a lot of saving to do to get one though...

by Graham MacAree on Dec 20, 2007 10:27 AM PST up reply actions

Yeah.

Quite a lot.

And that thing's only a V8? I thought it was a V12...

"I restore a sense of childlike wonder to people's lives; you give them Zunes and Vista." -- Fake Steve Jobs to Borg employees

by PositivePaul on Dec 20, 2007 10:30 AM PST up reply actions

V8 Vantage

It's half the price of the V12 Vanquish.

by Graham MacAree on Dec 20, 2007 10:33 AM PST up reply actions

Bargain!

"I restore a sense of childlike wonder to people's lives; you give them Zunes and Vista." -- Fake Steve Jobs to Borg employees

by PositivePaul on Dec 20, 2007 10:35 AM PST up reply actions

V8 sounds delicious

Off to the market!

by Garces on Dec 20, 2007 10:42 AM PST up reply actions

I think it's prettier than the big version anyway

I'm buying one for my 35th birthday, and if I have to sell my brother into slavery to manage, so be it.

by Graham MacAree on Dec 20, 2007 12:13 PM PST up reply actions

Now you're in the neighborhood.

Big, bad and from Detroit.

I overvalue prospects

by Thingray on Dec 20, 2007 12:19 PM PST up reply actions

I can't get into Mercedesesesses

For some reason, Mercedes will never be anything but an old-person's luxury car. Gimme an M3 any day.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 20, 2007 10:21 AM PST up reply actions

For the most part

I agree.

But I love the SLs and I love the Kompressors.

And, yeah, I'd take an M5 over an M3...

"I restore a sense of childlike wonder to people's lives; you give them Zunes and Vista." -- Fake Steve Jobs to Borg employees

by PositivePaul on Dec 20, 2007 10:29 AM PST up reply actions

I'd rather have Ron Mexico

by Gomez on Dec 20, 2007 2:48 PM PST up reply actions

Ron Paul has no real chance for president running

under a Republican ticket for 2008. It does, however, give him some excellent notoriety.

by redwolf75 on Dec 20, 2007 10:32 AM PST up reply actions

Agree with the subject, not the reason

I don't think the (R) would kill Paul's chances since he's so vastly different from the rest of the GOP candidates and there would be enough time for people to realize that leading up to Nov. In fact, I think he's far closer to the majority of voters and if in magical dragon land it were say Him vs. Hillary in the general election, I think Paul could steal votes from the centrist left. Meanwhile, Hillary couldn't even buy votes from the right if she tried.

No, I think Paul has no chance because he'll never get a GOP nomination. Sure would be interesting if he did though. Wonder who he'd pick as a running mate since he basically hates every other GOP candidate. How funny would it be to see a Paul-Kucinich ticket running?

by Matthew on Dec 20, 2007 11:11 AM PST up reply actions

That would be funny --

But to respond to your statement, you're right for also the wrong reason. (R) will not kill his chances at all, but he's a staunch Libertarian, which will make him lose more general election votes in the long run than he'd gain. His stances are, if nothing else, "Wacko." And while the majority of America probably does want to do away with the IRS, and most of the rest of government, it won't work. And Kansas is a pretty good example why giving control solely to the states is a terrible idea.

I like him as a person, but as a president he'd be awful.

Jose Vidro (DH - Ms) was arrested today in an Idaho Bathroom for having a wide stance and sucking.

by CapSea on Dec 20, 2007 11:58 AM PST up reply actions

I figure his stances would soften

after the primaries. Almost all candidates drift to extreme positions in primaries in order to differentiate themselves (and garner fundraising) and then drift back to the center after the nomination.

Furthermore, there's the whole executive power restriction that would say that even if Paul as Prez wanted to eliminate the FAA for example, doesn't mean he can just do it.

But overall agree, it's a shame that one of the few people who would represent actual change atop the government has to be so extreme about it.

by Matthew on Dec 20, 2007 12:11 PM PST up reply actions

Yall could buy

them Mercedes with your V8s once paul does away with the income tax

by Diatribe on Dec 20, 2007 12:33 PM PST up reply actions

Hey, my political stances are obvious.

That said, I do like Ron Paul as a person - not something I can say about the rest of his party. I think it is more of a shame, to me at least, that someone who takes some of the socially moderate/liberal stances that he takes is considered "Extreme." He should just be a regular candidate who I may or may not like. Instead, he's the Kucinich of the Republican party, except without the aliens.

Jose Vidro (DH - Ms) was arrested today in an Idaho Bathroom for having a wide stance and sucking.

by CapSea on Dec 20, 2007 12:41 PM PST up reply actions

That's the most amazing thing

about the modern Republican party. They have done a fantastic job of demonizing those that have other viewpoints - the radioactive status of the word "liberal" is the prime example of that, but their treatment of Ron Paul is another. Some of his positions may be extreme, yes (sorry, kids, the IRS ain't going anywhere anytime soon), but the fact that he's been painted as a loon is another triumph of the Republican way of "if they're a threat, turn them into a caricature".

And yes, the Democrats try to do it too, but they're not nearly as good at it as the Republicans are.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 20, 2007 12:46 PM PST up reply actions

why must you hate America?

by Matthew on Dec 20, 2007 12:52 PM PST up reply actions

Heh.

Jose Vidro (DH - Ms) was arrested today in an Idaho Bathroom for having a wide stance and sucking.

by CapSea on Dec 20, 2007 12:52 PM PST up reply actions

Because I'm a librul

and I probably therefore caused 9/11.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 20, 2007 12:54 PM PST up reply actions

Well, start packing your bags for Gitmo.

haha, j/k

we don't let you take bags.

by Matthew on Dec 20, 2007 12:55 PM PST up reply actions

No bags allowed?

That's it, I'm calling the ACLU. If I can't take my alligator-skin Vitton bag with me to Gitmo, then the terrorists win.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 20, 2007 12:59 PM PST up reply actions

Kucinich is awesome...

I would vote for him. He's the only candidate I like.

by Patrick517 on Dec 20, 2007 12:50 PM PST up reply actions

Similar to Ron Paul

I like him as a person, but would not want him as president.

Jose Vidro (DH - Ms) was arrested today in an Idaho Bathroom for having a wide stance and sucking.

by CapSea on Dec 20, 2007 12:52 PM PST up reply actions

I disagree...

I don't know any of the candidates personally and, from my limited knowledge, I think D.K. would make a great President.

FWIW, he posts regularly on Joe Posnanski's blog. I think that's pretty cool.

by Patrick517 on Dec 20, 2007 1:11 PM PST up reply actions

by pdb on Dec 20, 2007 3:11 PM PST up reply actions

by pdb on Dec 20, 2007 1:03 PM PST up reply actions

by CapSea on Dec 20, 2007 1:18 PM PST up reply actions

Countdown

the best news show on television.

Yesterday's Pants

by Katal LM on Dec 20, 2007 2:16 PM PST up reply actions

Agreed.

Jose Vidro (DH - Ms) was arrested today in an Idaho Bathroom for having a wide stance and sucking.

by CapSea on Dec 20, 2007 3:08 PM PST up reply actions

9/11 will be defeated again soon

America's mayor has left the hospital. He couldn't stick around too long - all those immigrants weren't going to arrest themselves for terrorism, now, were they?

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 20, 2007 2:28 PM PST reply actions