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Around SBN: Raiders' GM Begins The Purge

Mitchell Report.

2007_tiny by PShwa on

Apparently Clemens is on it. Just said it on Mike and Mike in the morning.

I see this day being annoying.

300 Fact: THIS IS SPARTTTTTTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA uh.....SPAAARRRRTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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If that's the case
they better have some really damning evidence.  

by chrisisasavage on Dec 13, 2007 7:31 AM PST reply actions  

What's the over / under on how many
current and former M's are in this report?

by Shawk on Dec 13, 2007 7:36 AM PST reply actions  

So, what is this Mitchell Report, anyways?
A list of players who secretly like Joni Mitchell music?

A list of players who secretly were friends with Kevin Mitchell?

A list of players whose relatives flew Mitchell bombers over Tokyo in WWII?

"I restore a sense of childlike wonder to people's lives; you give them Zunes and Vista." -- Fake Steve Jobs to Borg employees

by PositivePaul on Dec 13, 2007 7:42 AM PST reply actions  

Now I'm laughing

Don't forget the Joe Don Baker action vehicle "Mitchell."

Keep circulating the tapes.

by Shawk on Dec 13, 2007 7:45 AM PST up reply actions  

I figure
it's either a complete "where are they now" on the cast of EastEnders, or a reunion notice for alumni of Mitchell College.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 7:57 AM PST up reply actions  

Hey, I grew up like 3 blocks from Mitchell College
I must have gotten kicked out of their Gym atleast 15 times by their AD while playing pickup bball.

by DCMariner on Dec 13, 2007 8:07 AM PST up reply actions  

Mariners you think will be on it?
B.Boone
David Bell
Player A
Piniero
Meche
Edgar?

etc.

by tkballer22 on Dec 13, 2007 7:45 AM PST reply actions  

Adrian?
He's my favorite player, but that 2004 year is a little "Hm..."

by PShwa on Dec 13, 2007 8:33 AM PST up reply actions  

Joey Cora?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 8:33 AM PST up reply actions  

Steroids close up your tear ducts
so Joey is a no.

Disclaimer: I made that up, so don't go nuts.

by PShwa on Dec 13, 2007 8:53 AM PST up reply actions  

You obviously don't understand
either the internet, or the whole idea behind the Mitchell report (aka "flogging in the public square").

I can now exclusively report that steroids close up your tear ducts, which must conclusively mean, without a shadow of a doubt, that EVERY ATHLETE THAT HAS NEVER CRIED ON THE FIELD IS ON STERIODS!!!!111!!!!11!  TEH INTERWEB SAID SO!!111!

I love the modern age, dammit.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 8:56 AM PST up reply actions  

One of the more interesting parts of this
will no doubt be the fact that Jose Canseco, who everyone within the game dismissed as a loudmouth when he started talking about steroids, will probably have been proven right, in a lot of cases.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 8:08 AM PST reply actions  

True, but
he's still a stupid douchebag.

by Paytheline on Dec 13, 2007 9:48 AM PST up reply actions  

Roger Clemens being on the list is hilarious
There are few players, past or present, that I loathe more than Clemens.
Yesterday's Pants

by Katal LM on Dec 13, 2007 8:26 AM PST reply actions  

Not at all surprising, though
at least not to me.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 8:27 AM PST up reply actions  

esp. not after being named
by Jason Grimsley.

How Bonds is so vilified while Clemens has escaped any hint of PED scandal is mystifying to me.

It's not like Clemens is mr. sportsmanship/hustle.  Reporters must just love the guy.  

by marc w on Dec 13, 2007 8:49 AM PST up reply actions  

It's a bit alarming
how closely the media controls public opinion, isn't it?

by Graham MacAree on Dec 13, 2007 8:51 AM PST up reply actions  

It's amazing to me
that no one here suspects that RACISM could play a tiny role in that discrepancy.

by johnbai on Dec 13, 2007 1:49 PM PST up reply actions  

That's one aspect of your culture
That I'm not touching with a 10 foot pole. Sorry!

by Graham MacAree on Dec 13, 2007 2:09 PM PST up reply actions  

all the evidence you need
about reporters loving him is how they described his comeback announcement from the press box. i almost vomited when they re-showed it on sportscenter

"OH MY GOD! IVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING MORE DRAMATIC IN MY LIFE! ROGER CLEMENS! HES HERE!! IN THE PRESS BOX!!"

i will admit that his t-mobile commercial with his wife when hes talking about coming back was pretty funny though.

by seattlebruin on Dec 13, 2007 8:52 AM PST up reply actions  

He gives good quote
he "plays the game" with the press.  Gives them enough to keep them happy, but nothing real.  He's like Brett Favre, a good-but-by-no-means-great-anymore player who has built a huge mythology around himself, with the cooperation of the press, that people just swallow hook, line, and sinker.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 8:52 AM PST up reply actions  

The Media and Bonds
You have to remember that the majority of the Bonds media coverage is from the SF Chronicle/local media.

I don't think that the media - on a national level - has intentionally ignored guys like Clemens, it's just that no one has taken the time to write a book on the guy.

by PLU Tim on Dec 13, 2007 10:01 AM PST up reply actions  

Clemens and Pettite
are evidently named in the report.. according to the article on ESPN so are a few other high profile yankee's.... with the arcticle saying its going to be a rough day in the bronx.

Boras is already spinning it as a heresay report.

by MfaninAlaska on Dec 13, 2007 8:26 AM PST reply actions  

I'd probably spin it as well
if I were a player or agent.  Unless they have legal proof that a player used, then I would do the same thing.

That doesn't mean the named players are innocent or that I think the report is invalid, just that Boras' reaction is expected.

by Jed MC on Dec 13, 2007 8:36 AM PST up reply actions  

This day will be nothing but spin
I believe Mitchell's got the first presser, then Selig goes this afternoon.  There will be so much spinning, recasting, and reinterpreting of the report, and so many finger-pointing GOTCHAS about the list of names, that nobody will actually take the time to read the thing and deal with its implications.

It's the real-world equivalent of McGwire's Simpsons appearance - "Do you want to hear the terrible, unimaginable truth, or do you want to see me hit some dingers?"

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 8:42 AM PST up reply actions  

Today will be about as informative
as a Presidential debate.  Each question will be answered with a prepared statement, regardless of whether or not the answer and question relate.  Everyone is going to try and make themselves look like the hero and the other guys as the goats.

by Jed MC on Dec 13, 2007 8:58 AM PST up reply actions  

There's a tentative list on Deadspin
right here. It's completely unsubstantiated, and posted just for fun.

My heart skipped a beat when I read "Felix Her--" until I realized it was "Felix Heredia, Jr."

Who the hell?

by Slozbury Stouvre on Dec 13, 2007 8:40 AM PST reply actions  

if that is in any way accurate
the only really surprising name is albert pujols.

by seattlebruin on Dec 13, 2007 8:54 AM PST up reply actions  

Pujols doesn't surprise me
Seeing him on there would just make me really disappointed in him.

by Graham MacAree on Dec 13, 2007 8:55 AM PST up reply actions  

true
im probably more disappointed than surprised. but still a little surprised

by seattlebruin on Dec 13, 2007 9:01 AM PST up reply actions  

Jeff...
Can you delete a portion of a thread?

I think it sucks that so many people are re-posting these unofficial lists all over the internet.

If some players are on this "unofficial" list but not named on the report it's really tarnishing their reputations anyways.

Posting speculation of this magnitude isn't good for anyone.

by PLU Tim on Dec 13, 2007 9:28 AM PST up reply actions  

You haven't spent much time
on the internet, have you?
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 9:30 AM PST up reply actions  

Why?
I just know that I wouldn't want to have my site acting as a conduit to misinformation.

I just think it would suck to be a player erroneously listed on one of these unofficial lists.

I'd say allow other blogs to post that crap.

by PLU Tim on Dec 13, 2007 9:34 AM PST up reply actions  

I applaud the sentiment
But at this point it's all just pretty much a parlor game anyway.  I'm not sure that "misinformation" is what's happening here, I think it's more "idle speculation".

It's really no different than following politics, music, or anything else - none of this morning's internet traffic, either here, or on Deadspin, or anywhere, will matter once the report is out.  Nor does it particularly matter now.

It's not like the players care, obviously - you can't tell me that some random MLB player who may be under suspicion is sitting at home right now, loading a bunch of small-scale, niche baseball websites, and getting enraged about what's being said.  

As has been said to me in a few other cases 'round here, if you're not interested in it, or aren't happy about what's happening, then skip the diary.  No harm no foul.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 9:41 AM PST up reply actions  

The Diary...
wasn't designed to post links to potentially libelous lists....

by PLU Tim on Dec 13, 2007 9:45 AM PST up reply actions  

Did you even read the intro to the list?
"Is this list substantiated? No. Is it from an MLB official? No. Do we have any reason to believe it's anything but random bunk? No. .... t could very likely be one of those Web urban legends that somehow got around, like when everyone thought Scott Baio was dead. It probably is, actually. (We mean, come on: The list has Rich Garces on it.)"

It's for shits and giggles and isn't meant to be taken seriously in any way.

by Slozbury Stouvre on Dec 13, 2007 9:59 AM PST up reply actions  

Wait, what?
Scott Baio is dead?  HOLY SHIT!  WHAT WILL PINKY TUSCADERO DO NOW?

Yup.  Believing everything you read is a whole lotta fun.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 10:01 AM PST up reply actions  

Ahhh...
So disclaimers excuse irresponsible journalism...

Got it.

by PLU Tim on Dec 13, 2007 10:04 AM PST up reply actions  

How's the view up there
on that high horse?  Seriously, dude, if you're not interested in/upset by this whole thing, there's the exit door for the thread (this is me pointing at the door), there's probably other threads on here that you'd find more interesting...

Nobody's claiming this is "journalism".

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 10:07 AM PST up reply actions  

Sorry...
I just think that this is a big deal and on some level a player is going to have a hard time shaking being on a "roid list" even if it's an erroneous list.

There will always be idiot that will point it out and hold it against the guy because they are idiots and I think that it's silly to be contributing to that.

I'm sure if Edgar Martinez were on these unofficial lists floating around, you would feel differently.

by PLU Tim on Dec 13, 2007 10:12 AM PST up reply actions  

you can't stop idiots from being idiots
and I'm pretty sure that at this point, no, actually at any point, that the fans don't care. The only people that care are the media because it gives them easy stories to file.

by Matthew on Dec 13, 2007 10:15 AM PST up reply actions  

Actually, I wouldn't.
If Edgar Martinez were on the list, I would feel no different - and I'd mock him just as I mock everyone else that was a 'roider.  Even if the list had Edgar, Griffey, Aaron, Rose, Stargell, and (insert favorite player here) on it, tt's still a ludicrous exercise at this point to go through and "name names" for things that started happening 10 years ago, and for which nobody will be punished.

The whole thing's a giant CYA effot by Selig/Mitchell, and it has absolutely no relevance to any listed player's future.  Say Pujols is indeed on the list.  When he becomes a FA, if he's put up typical Pujolsian numbers between now and then, do you honestly think any GM would say "no, I'm not hiring him, because a lot of years ago he did steroids?"  Not gonna happen.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 10:19 AM PST up reply actions  

Exactly....
"If Edgar Martinez were on the list, I would feel no different - and I'd mock him just as I mock everyone else that was a 'roider."

And yet if he wasn't in the Mitchell report you'd feel pretty bad about that huh?

by PLU Tim on Dec 13, 2007 10:26 AM PST up reply actions  

Nope, I wouldn't
Why would I?  I don't know Edgar Martinez, I've never met him, and the words I say will never get back to him.  Why would I possibly feel bad about something like that?
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 10:31 AM PST up reply actions  

I guess...
that's where you an I differ.

You, like a typical internet troll, wouldn't care about contributing to the dissemination is misinformation as well as tarnishing of a man's reputation.

I'd personally care.

by PLU Tim on Dec 13, 2007 10:38 AM PST up reply actions  

Let's not sling mud
I'm not a troll - I've spent enough time on this site that I think I've earned some sort of credibility.

And, down there, you just accused Jeff's head of being 20% bigger, and yet didn't answer my question - how is that any different from what we're doing up here?  It's all a joke, none of it matters at all.

I'm prepared to call a truce if you are, there's no need to get down in the slime about it.  Agree to disagree, and move on.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 10:40 AM PST up reply actions  

Oh seriously....
Jeff livelihood and reputation aren't going to be affected by some joke about his head size.

Nor is my comment going to be read by millions of people who are going to repeat it over and over and over again regardless of it's validity.

I personally think it would be a terrible thing if a guy like Edgar Martinez's name ended up on one of these unofficial lists and people like you who figured it was no big deal to start mocking him started doing so all over the internet and thus costs him any shot at the HOF.

Just because it's not a big deal to you, doesn't mean that it's not a big deal to others.

I'm sorry if I think that "mocking a guy like any other 'roider" without any factual evidence is highly dangerous and unfair to many people.

by PLU Tim on Dec 13, 2007 10:49 AM PST up reply actions  

So?
Is there anyone on this site dumb enough to take this fake list seriously?

Anyone?

No, I didn't think so. So what's wrong with linking to it?

by Graham MacAree on Dec 13, 2007 10:53 AM PST up reply actions  

It's still a double standard
and that's why i called you on it.  Why is it OK to do to someone who isn't famous, but not OK to do to Edgar Martinez?  What's the difference?

Look, I offered to agree to disagree and move on, but you obviously still have an axe to grind - if you really want to debate this, follow the link in my sig and send me an email, we've wasted enough screen space on this pointlessness.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 10:53 AM PST up reply actions  

So basically...
what you're saying is that if I have a problem with a major league ball player's name being thrown around on unfounded lists I have no right to joke about roids with a friend?

Seriously....

by PLU Tim on Dec 13, 2007 11:01 AM PST up reply actions  

Yup.
A joke's a joke.  If you're willing to joke about it with a friend that you know, why not about a ballplayer who you have never met and will never meet?

I was serious.  If you want to continue this, please email me - I don't want to have this already ridiculous thread turned into some gigantic pissing match for no reason.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 11:05 AM PST up reply actions  

I've said it before.
But I think we'd get along really well in real life.
Jose Vidro (DH - Ms) was arrested today in an Idaho Bathroom for having a wide stance and sucking.

by CapSea on Dec 13, 2007 11:18 AM PST up reply actions  

I'll buy the first round.
Next time I'm in Seattle I'll let you know (you are in Seattle, right)?
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 11:20 AM PST up reply actions  

I am.
And I drink. So both of those work. Good deal.
Jose Vidro (DH - Ms) was arrested today in an Idaho Bathroom for having a wide stance and sucking.

by CapSea on Dec 13, 2007 11:24 AM PST up reply actions  

I'll try again...
...contributing of the dissemination of misinformation...

by PLU Tim on Dec 13, 2007 10:40 AM PST up reply actions  

Deadspin...
isn't in the business of putting out information to the masses?

Just because they do it humorously doesn't exempt them from having to be responsible about it.

by PLU Tim on Dec 13, 2007 10:16 AM PST up reply actions  

They were responsible about it
They put it completely in context and left it up to the reader to decide.

by Matthew on Dec 13, 2007 10:17 AM PST up reply actions  

That's the problem
"The business of putting out information to the masses" is not now, nor has it ever been, journalism.  

Journalism is rigorous, sourced, and defensible - Deadspin, by its own tagline, is sports "without access, favor, or discretion".  And should be taken as such.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 10:21 AM PST up reply actions  

For a guy
who calls people out for being pissy, you're sure being pissy, especially about something so benign.

Chill.  We know it's speculation and taking it with a grain of salt is giving it too much credit.  I haven't even read it and I'm not going to.  I'll wait for the actual report, and I'll even take that with a grain of salt.

by Gomez on Dec 13, 2007 10:00 AM PST up reply actions  

I honestly don't care
I really don't care about steroids in sports.  I just think it's funny that so many people do care so much, so I read along at home. Haven't read the supposed "list" yet, though, I'm waiting for the live broadcast.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 10:14 AM PST up reply actions  

I think the issue is that it undermines
the dream/idea that a talented athlete can make it to the big time on the merits of his ability and work ethic alone, that it seems the guys at the top had to juice to get to where they are.

If not for that and the known health risks, I don't think anyone would care all that much.

by Gomez on Dec 13, 2007 11:02 AM PST up reply actions  

Sunshine.
Jose Vidro (DH - Ms) was arrested today in an Idaho Bathroom for having a wide stance and sucking.

by CapSea on Dec 13, 2007 10:12 AM PST up reply actions  

Lollipops.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 10:14 AM PST up reply actions  

Rainbows.
When life gives you scurvy, make lemonade.

by Mariner John on Dec 13, 2007 3:11 PM PST up reply actions  

It appears you all missed the reference.
Jose Vidro (DH - Ms) was arrested today in an Idaho Bathroom for having a wide stance and sucking.

by CapSea on Dec 13, 2007 3:46 PM PST up reply actions  

I recall someone using sparkle with me
I just figured I'd finish the song.
When life gives you scurvy, make lemonade.

by Mariner John on Dec 13, 2007 3:49 PM PST up reply actions  

Welp...
it looks like a good portion of that list was flat out garbage.

Good thing contributions were made to slander the names of the players on this list though.

All in good fun I guess.

hahaha it was a riot.

by PLU Tim on Dec 13, 2007 11:28 AM PST up reply actions  

Nobody put a gun to your head
and forced you to read the whole thing.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 11:30 AM PST up reply actions  

What...
in the hell does my reading of the list have to do with anything?

Now a guy like Pujols appears to have his reputation smeared for no good reason.

But you're OK with that. Likely because he's worth millions and he'll get over it...

by PLU Tim on Dec 13, 2007 11:40 AM PST up reply actions  

I don't think any less of Pujols.
He's awesome.
Jose Vidro (DH - Ms) was arrested today in an Idaho Bathroom for having a wide stance and sucking.

by CapSea on Dec 13, 2007 11:42 AM PST up reply actions  

Not reading the list
reading this thread.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 12:56 PM PST up reply actions  

Who
would disappoint you the most if they appeared on the list?

Mines's Pujols but I'm sure you each have a few.

"You guys should be in every major city. This is some heavy shit. This is, like, Lone Ranger heavy, man."

by AZSEAfan on Dec 13, 2007 9:22 AM PST reply actions  

Boone!
//kidding.

Actually, yeah, Edgar.  Or Griffey.

"I restore a sense of childlike wonder to people's lives; you give them Zunes and Vista." -- Fake Steve Jobs to Borg employees

by PositivePaul on Dec 13, 2007 9:24 AM PST up reply actions  

Griffey and Edgar
are off the dead spin list, if that means anything.

by redwolf75 on Dec 13, 2007 9:25 AM PST up reply actions  

No One Really
it wouldn't surprise me at all to see anyone on the list, and it wouldn't really disappoint me... its been part of the game for a while so I expect alot of done stuff whether they are named or not.

I'll probably be more suprised with names that aren't on the list.

by MfaninAlaska on Dec 13, 2007 9:27 AM PST up reply actions  

Honestly
Ichiro would be the only surprise.

by Jeff Sullivan on Dec 13, 2007 9:38 AM PST up reply actions  

At this point, no one
Disappointment, for me, needs to have a certain purity of belief that comes before it (the belief being that NOBODY would EVER cheat in order to gain advantage or win), and I haven't had that purity of belief about the cleanliness of MLB for several years now.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 9:29 AM PST up reply actions  

Cal Ripkin
Dan Wilson
Bucky Jacobson
Impeach Gary Bettman, Bill Bavasi, George McPhee, and George Bush

by Edanger6 on Dec 13, 2007 10:49 AM PST up reply actions  

if barry is on there
omg id be SO SHOCKED that i would go...

do nothing, because hes the one name that is definitely on there...

by seattlebruin on Dec 13, 2007 9:40 AM PST up reply actions  

I actually think the report is called
The Barry Bonds Memorial Steroid Abusers List.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 9:42 AM PST up reply actions  

May 2nd, 2002.
It was Mike Cameron's first--and last--steroid coctail.

Mike Cameron: Hitting 4 home runs in a game makes me a boring old biddy!

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

by Phil Hatzenbuehler on Dec 13, 2007 9:35 AM PST up reply actions  

Of that fake list from DeadSpin
Only Albert Pujols would disappoint me. Kerry Wood and Prior obviously took it to heal. Everyone else I don't care about.

There are far too many "duhs" on that list. Where's the surprises?

Jose Vidro (DH - Ms) was arrested today in an Idaho Bathroom for having a wide stance and sucking.

by CapSea on Dec 13, 2007 9:39 AM PST reply actions  

It's a meta-surprise
the surprise is that people are still surprised that there was (is) steroid abuse in sports.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 9:45 AM PST up reply actions  

Also how little people understand the drug.
Jose Vidro (DH - Ms) was arrested today in an Idaho Bathroom for having a wide stance and sucking.

by CapSea on Dec 13, 2007 9:47 AM PST up reply actions  

Reports coming out
Say that Brandon Fahey is being singled out.

Baseball is dead to me.

by Garces on Dec 13, 2007 9:47 AM PST reply actions  

Surely he's allowed to do steroids
Otherwise he'd achieve escape velocity due to wind loading...

by Graham MacAree on Dec 13, 2007 9:49 AM PST up reply actions  

I didn't know
Steroids had any effects on twigs.

by chrisisasavage on Dec 13, 2007 9:51 AM PST up reply actions  

Slight Hijack...
Arod is still an attention whore.

Is it possible that he just has the worst timing in the history of mankind?

by PLU Tim on Dec 13, 2007 9:51 AM PST reply actions  

Maybe he's on it.
And he wanted the contract completed before his name comes out.
Jose Vidro (DH - Ms) was arrested today in an Idaho Bathroom for having a wide stance and sucking.

by CapSea on Dec 13, 2007 9:56 AM PST up reply actions  

Over / Under
On total bottles of vodka consumed by Niehaus if Edgar is named.

Setting the bar at 2.5

by Garces on Dec 13, 2007 9:53 AM PST reply actions  

Oh man
I can here it now: Good bye (sob, sob) baseball ... I mean cruel world

by chrisisasavage on Dec 13, 2007 9:56 AM PST up reply actions  

Get out the booze and noose, grandma...
...it's grand finale time.
I reject your reality and substitute my own!

by Phil Hatzenbuehler on Dec 13, 2007 9:59 AM PST up reply actions  

Hilarious.
I laughed for a good 2 minutes. Well done.
These pretzels....are making me thirsty!

by Goose on Dec 13, 2007 11:25 AM PST up reply actions  

Total bottles fo Vodka or Rat Poison?
I mean if Edgar is named, there'll be some bad juju in the air tonight.

by chrisisasavage on Dec 13, 2007 10:03 AM PST up reply actions  

So, while we're waiting...
Mitchell Report vs. 9/11 Commission Report...
"I restore a sense of childlike wonder to people's lives; you give them Zunes and Vista." -- Fake Steve Jobs to Borg employees

by PositivePaul on Dec 13, 2007 10:10 AM PST reply actions  

Both represent gross incompetence.
Both won't be taken seriously.

Tie.

Jose Vidro (DH - Ms) was arrested today in an Idaho Bathroom for having a wide stance and sucking.

by CapSea on Dec 13, 2007 10:13 AM PST up reply actions  

Does this mean we have to endure
a "steroid conspiracy" about how MLB and the MLBPA did this knowingly in order to create more press for baseball in general or something?

by Matthew on Dec 13, 2007 10:16 AM PST up reply actions  

The 9/11 conspiracy people
Have been sending death threats to one of my lecturers recently.

Conspiracy theorists are... odd.

by Graham MacAree on Dec 13, 2007 10:18 AM PST up reply actions  

I loathe them with a passion
eclipsed only by my loathing of lazy media pundits.

by Matthew on Dec 13, 2007 10:20 AM PST up reply actions  

But they're fun to play with
if you have any sort of formalized debating/logic skills, it's really fun to talk to conspiracy theorists.  They can all be deconstructed in about 10 mins.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 10:22 AM PST up reply actions  

They're impervious to logic though
I mean, how else could you believe that trite in the first place?

by Matthew on Dec 13, 2007 10:27 AM PST up reply actions  

It sounds to me
like you're one of them.  You're trying to deceive these people into believe the governments lies!

by chrisisasavage on Dec 13, 2007 10:30 AM PST up reply actions  

I love that word
almost as much as I love the word one of my bartender friends coined (or started using, I'm not sure) after a stint at the Hard Rock in London: Touron.  Half tourist, half moron.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 10:33 AM PST up reply actions  

My friends dad
is an avowed athiest, and he would do this to Jehovah Witnesses that appeared at his door. He would invite them in for tea, and proceed to just destroy the framework for their religion for the next 20 minutes, often to the point of making them cry.

by sammy on Dec 13, 2007 10:36 AM PST up reply actions  

My dad used to do that with Mormons.
He'd invite them in, offer them a Coke, and it would just spiral from there.  Even as a 10-year-old, it was a thing of beauty.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 10:38 AM PST up reply actions  

Gotta offer them
a Whiskey and coke.  That'd be a hoot.

by chrisisasavage on Dec 13, 2007 10:40 AM PST up reply actions  

Based off the photographs of Bret Boone's head
You can see that HGH could never have created a hole that large. This was all a plot by Bud Selig to have more power over arbitration contracts.
Jose Vidro (DH - Ms) was arrested today in an Idaho Bathroom for having a wide stance and sucking.

by CapSea on Dec 13, 2007 10:21 AM PST up reply actions  

My guess on what the Mitchell Report will say
We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy

I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

We've know each other for so long
Your heart's been aching
But you're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it

And if you ask me how I'm feeling
Don't tell me youre too blind to see

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Give you up. give you up
Give you up, give you up
Never gonna give
Never gonna give, give you up
Never gonna give
Never gonna give, give you up

We've know each other for so long
Your heart's been aching
But you're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

... okay, maybe not, but how cool would it be if Mitchell went and Rickrolled America?

by Gomez on Dec 13, 2007 10:17 AM PST reply actions  

You think?
Turns out you're wrong.

Here's the ACTUAL Mitchell Report... take a look.

by marc w on Dec 13, 2007 10:33 AM PST up reply actions  

No no no!
I wasn't calling YOU out, I was just pointing out to Gomez how the damn meme is supposed to work.
You can't just quote lyrics.

by marc w on Dec 13, 2007 10:50 AM PST up reply actions  

Kinda hard to make that work
since it's a Report and all.  Maybe if he showed it on a projector....

by Gomez on Dec 13, 2007 10:58 AM PST up reply actions  

no,
it would've been easy - just pretend to link to the report or to the special section on Palmeiro and Canseco's PED Parties, involving strippers, Bret Boone, a cocktail of cocaine/amphetamines/HGH, all with Bud Selig presiding and singing karaoke.

by marc w on Dec 13, 2007 11:05 AM PST up reply actions  

My work filter blocks videos
My resources were admittedly limited.

by Gomez on Dec 13, 2007 12:11 PM PST up reply actions  

If they sink
they're not roiders, if they float, well, burn them at the stake!!!!!!  

by chrisisasavage on Dec 13, 2007 10:28 AM PST reply actions  

Are you implying
that this could be a witch hunt? Nooo.. (end sarcasm)
I overvalue prospects

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2007 10:34 AM PST up reply actions  

Jeff
How about starting a new Mitchell diary on the main page once the official results are out?
"You guys should be in every major city. This is some heavy shit. This is, like, Lone Ranger heavy, man."

by AZSEAfan on Dec 13, 2007 10:30 AM PST reply actions  

I'd really prefer not to
mostly because I'm not particularly interested in the Mitchell Report or the dialogue that will inevitably follow.

by Jeff Sullivan on Dec 13, 2007 10:31 AM PST up reply actions  

You're just afraid
That you're on the list.  Admit it.

by chrisisasavage on Dec 13, 2007 10:33 AM PST up reply actions  

No doubt....
Jeff's hat size has increased by at least 20% in the last 2 years.

by PLU Tim on Dec 13, 2007 10:34 AM PST up reply actions  

IRRESPONSIBLE JOURNALISM ALERT!!!
Seriously.  How's that different than anything that went on upthread?
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 10:35 AM PST up reply actions  

It's like Sputnik!
Now go cry yourself to sleep on your huge pilla!
I overvalue prospects

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2007 10:40 AM PST up reply actions  

patsfan is on the right track,
but the Quagmire one confuses me.
I overvalue prospects

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2007 10:56 AM PST up reply actions  

True. I thought maybe Family Guy
did a "So I Married an Ax Murderer" joke and I missed it.
I overvalue prospects

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2007 11:09 AM PST up reply actions  

Totally understand
though it may help clean your site up a tad. I am looking forward to your reaction/interpretation in the case you write something up later or tomorrow.
"You guys should be in every major city. This is some heavy shit. This is, like, Lone Ranger heavy, man."

by AZSEAfan on Dec 13, 2007 10:47 AM PST up reply actions  

I don't think I'll do a writeup
I just don't care. I know that sounds weird, but there you go. I can't force opinions I don't have.

by Jeff Sullivan on Dec 13, 2007 10:51 AM PST up reply actions  

Have you tried typing in all caps?
That seems to work on other message boards

by Matthew on Dec 13, 2007 10:52 AM PST up reply actions  

How bout really tired old memes
Those seem to go over really well here.

by Robert on Dec 13, 2007 10:54 AM PST up reply actions  

Is re-hashing overused memes
officially an overused meme yet? I find it really tiresome.

by Matthew on Dec 13, 2007 10:58 AM PST up reply actions  

I'll put that on my list of memes to overuse.
Jose Vidro (DH - Ms) was arrested today in an Idaho Bathroom for having a wide stance and sucking.

by CapSea on Dec 13, 2007 11:09 AM PST up reply actions  

Then you fail at the internet
Isn't that the whole point, forcing opinions you don't have?  

Seriously, though, I do appreciate both your willingness to let this thread exist and your complete disinterest in the whole story.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 10:55 AM PST up reply actions  

The guys I'm going to feel sorrry for
are the guys that are named on the list, but still sucked!
I overvalue prospects

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2007 10:40 AM PST reply actions  

That's because they know the horrible truth
that the Mitchell Report actually outs the Mainstream Media as the steroid abusers!!

by Matthew on Dec 13, 2007 10:46 AM PST up reply actions  

I assume this is a rickroll too
I'm so glad I learned about these from XKCD

by Graham MacAree on Dec 13, 2007 10:48 AM PST up reply actions  

Any possibility
that PED's caused Stuart Scott's little "eye thing"...too much?
"You guys should be in every major city. This is some heavy shit. This is, like, Lone Ranger heavy, man."

by AZSEAfan on Dec 13, 2007 10:48 AM PST up reply actions  

They're always agitated
it's part of the "Let's make this argument more interesting by not using our inside-voices" routine.

by JLC on Dec 13, 2007 10:48 AM PST up reply actions  

I still maintain
that Canseco will be validated by this list.  Which is comical.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 10:51 AM PST up reply actions  

My buddy works at ESPN
and yesterday they sent out a company-wide e-mail with the subject "Preparing for disaster" and it was a 100+ page memo with all the stats pre and post projected steroid use for every player that could possibly be used.. apparently it is a big deal

by seattlesundevil on Dec 13, 2007 10:54 AM PST reply actions  

Jeremy Schaap
with report in hand says "..Fernando Vina.." and know I know he used facial hair enhancing drugs.

by PShwa on Dec 13, 2007 10:58 AM PST reply actions  

Fernando Vina?
LMFAO.....

Didn't help his performance in getting the hell out of the way of pitches.

by PLU Tim on Dec 13, 2007 10:58 AM PST reply actions  

boy, what a catchy title
REPORT TO THE COMMISSIONER OF BASEBALL OF AN INDEPENDENT INVESTIGATION INTO THE ILLEGAL USE OF STEROIDS AND OTHER PERFORMANCE ENHANCING SUBSTANCES
BY PLAYERS IN MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL

by Matthew on Dec 13, 2007 11:01 AM PST up reply actions  

I've seen worse...
Hell, I've WRITTEN worse for my government job...
"I restore a sense of childlike wonder to people's lives; you give them Zunes and Vista." -- Fake Steve Jobs to Borg employees

by PositivePaul on Dec 13, 2007 11:04 AM PST up reply actions  

And on my version of acrobat reader
it's even ctrl-F.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 11:05 AM PST up reply actions  

Edgar Martinez
0 records found.  

Phwhewh.

"I restore a sense of childlike wonder to people's lives; you give them Zunes and Vista." -- Fake Steve Jobs to Borg employees

by PositivePaul on Dec 13, 2007 11:06 AM PST up reply actions  

Yeah
It doesnt happen often, but it was a necessity.

by PShwa on Dec 13, 2007 11:07 AM PST up reply actions  

So....
who thinks Johan Santana is going to get traded today?

by Matthew on Dec 13, 2007 11:00 AM PST reply actions  

names like
Kent Merker(Mercker?) and Matt Herges...OH NO

by PShwa on Dec 13, 2007 11:02 AM PST reply actions  

Kevin Brown, ERIC GAGNE
Wow, sure didnt help Gagne in boston.

by PShwa on Dec 13, 2007 11:03 AM PST reply actions  

Guess that answers the
"Will the Mitchell Report name any Red Sox" question.  Even if he's no longer a Sox.  Sock.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 11:07 AM PST up reply actions  

i'd like to see
The totall career OPS+/ERA+ of all people implicated.

by Fett42 on Dec 13, 2007 11:06 AM PST reply actions  

RYAN FRANKLIN<3
it was fun to see his name in there.

by PShwa on Dec 13, 2007 11:06 AM PST reply actions  

desperately calling his agent
to see if it's too late to be included on the list.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 11:08 AM PST up reply actions  

Regardless of what you think about steroid use,
those names not being on the list is really great news. Big sigh of relief from all the people who are fans of theirs.
Jose Vidro (DH - Ms) was arrested today in an Idaho Bathroom for having a wide stance and sucking.

by CapSea on Dec 13, 2007 11:12 AM PST up reply actions  

Me too.
But not those names.
Jose Vidro (DH - Ms) was arrested today in an Idaho Bathroom for having a wide stance and sucking.

by CapSea on Dec 13, 2007 11:15 AM PST up reply actions  

Boone would have been okay.
Since he's obviously a roider. But Ichiro, Griffey, Edgar, Buhner and Pujols would have upset me.
Jose Vidro (DH - Ms) was arrested today in an Idaho Bathroom for having a wide stance and sucking.

by CapSea on Dec 13, 2007 11:16 AM PST up reply actions  

Glenallen Hill
Oh Noes!!!
"I restore a sense of childlike wonder to people's lives; you give them Zunes and Vista." -- Fake Steve Jobs to Borg employees

by PositivePaul on Dec 13, 2007 11:08 AM PST reply actions  

Chuck Knoblauch!
The patron saint of Scrappy White Guys!
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 11:09 AM PST reply actions  

More Names...
LoDuca
Parque
Mo Vaughn
Adam Piatt

//looking at Appendix D

"I restore a sense of childlike wonder to people's lives; you give them Zunes and Vista." -- Fake Steve Jobs to Borg employees

by PositivePaul on Dec 13, 2007 11:09 AM PST reply actions  

Mo Vaughn?
Are you kidding me? I thought steroids were supposed to give you - like, you know - muscles, not man-boobs and fatback.

by JoeyJoJoJuniorShabadoo on Dec 13, 2007 11:13 AM PST up reply actions  

Now I want everyone to read all 409 pages,
and be ready for a test tomorrow.
I overvalue prospects

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2007 11:10 AM PST reply actions  

Yep.
I was hoping they'd just walk out and post a list on a bulleiten board.
I overvalue prospects

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2007 11:13 AM PST up reply actions  

So I skimmed it
What's the big deal about? This seems rather mundane. No real shockers.

by Matthew on Dec 13, 2007 11:11 AM PST reply actions  

So we're back to square one
In order to provide (name player here) with information about these allegations and to give
him an opportunity to respond, I asked him to meet with me; he declined.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 11:13 AM PST reply actions  

Hmmm.
Mitchell Report = 409-page PDF
9/11 Commission Report = 585-page PDF
"I restore a sense of childlike wonder to people's lives; you give them Zunes and Vista." -- Fake Steve Jobs to Borg employees

by PositivePaul on Dec 13, 2007 11:13 AM PST reply actions  

That says something about our society.
I'm not sure it's something good either.
I overvalue prospects

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2007 11:14 AM PST up reply actions  

So, what you're saying is,
the 9/11 perps were on steroids?  Or did Chuck Knoblauch fly a plane into a building?  I'm so confused.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 11:15 AM PST up reply actions  

That's what (his) spine said...
"I restore a sense of childlike wonder to people's lives; you give them Zunes and Vista." -- Fake Steve Jobs to Borg employees

by PositivePaul on Dec 13, 2007 12:18 PM PST up reply actions  

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111
"Goddamn Romans. Sure know how to make a ... drum room." --Matt Cameron

by JI on Dec 13, 2007 4:51 PM PST up reply actions  

fuck, so what your saying is that
if Tino Martinez was in the building, Cuck would have missed it by like 36 miles?

bad planning, people.

by PShwa on Dec 13, 2007 11:17 AM PST up reply actions  

Food on every table,
and a Tino in every building. That's my campaign platform.
I overvalue prospects

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2007 11:20 AM PST up reply actions  

If he had tried,
he just would have overshot it anyway.

by PetRock on Dec 13, 2007 12:20 PM PST up reply actions  

Heh.
"Boone" not named in Mitchell report.  But a "Find" for "Boone" is successful in the 9/11 Commission report.  Not "Brett", of course...
"I restore a sense of childlike wonder to people's lives; you give them Zunes and Vista." -- Fake Steve Jobs to Borg employees

by PositivePaul on Dec 13, 2007 11:16 AM PST up reply actions  

I think the 9/11 commission report
had smaller margins.
Jose Vidro (DH - Ms) was arrested today in an Idaho Bathroom for having a wide stance and sucking.

by CapSea on Dec 13, 2007 11:17 AM PST up reply actions  

How utterly underwhelming.
And, good god, the Bronx fans are gonna be screaming bloody murder.

by sammy on Dec 13, 2007 11:22 AM PST reply actions  

Roger Clemens has FINALLY been outed.
That's all I care about.
These pretzels....are making me thirsty!

by Goose on Dec 13, 2007 11:23 AM PST reply actions  

What's the opposite of a sad panda?
That's how Clemens being on the list makes me feel.
I overvalue prospects

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2007 11:24 AM PST up reply actions  

What! I thought ...
it was in his protein shakes?  You mean Franky lied to us??

by Steve Nelson on Dec 13, 2007 11:40 AM PST up reply actions  

That guy is pretty low
on redeeming qualities (Franklin, that is, but the batboy too).

by Paytheline on Dec 13, 2007 11:57 AM PST up reply actions  

I wish they hadn't leaked Clemens' name
He WAS the big name.  Perhaps the greatest pitcher of all time.  I feel like they softened the blow by getting his name out there beforehand.

by Zack on Dec 13, 2007 11:24 AM PST reply actions  

Who the fuck buys drugs with a CHECK?
Seriously, dude, that's the crazyest part of this whole thing.

by mark s @ Lookout Landing on Dec 13, 2007 11:25 AM PST reply actions  

Athletes != smart
after all, Damon Stoudamire once tried to get a bunch of pot through a metal detector.  While it was wrapped in tinfoil.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 11:27 AM PST up reply actions  

I know!
How freaking insane is that? Wouldn't you pay cash for something like that, so it would be harder to trace?

That's like writing checks for marijuana and writing "dope" in the "for" line. Idiots.

I overvalue prospects

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2007 11:27 AM PST up reply actions  

Can you image a dealer accepting a check?
It is like a homeless guy with a credit card swiper. It just doesn't make any sense!

by mark s @ Lookout Landing on Dec 13, 2007 11:37 AM PST up reply actions  

I once bought drugs with a check
and wrote "drugs" in the memo line...

just to prove that I could.

Undergrad life is great.

by johnbai on Dec 13, 2007 2:05 PM PST up reply actions  

haha
ive accepted a check like  that one time from a friend
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.

by wadswerth on Dec 13, 2007 3:07 PM PST up reply actions  

I wrote a check to my GF years ago for rent
that had "sex" in the memo line. She didn't think it was as funny as I did.
I overvalue prospects

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2007 3:18 PM PST up reply actions  

Give Kevin Brown Credit
He paid with cash.  But on his first payment he waived the signature requirement for delivery and his package of $8,000 cash sat in the rain on Radomski's doorstep for hours until he got home.
Impeach Gary Bettman, Bill Bavasi, George McPhee, and George Bush

by Edanger6 on Dec 13, 2007 11:42 AM PST up reply actions  

They say crooks are dumb?
I know not every athlete is a moron, but this sure makes them sound like idiots.
I overvalue prospects

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2007 11:45 AM PST up reply actions  

So that's why Alex Cabrera
never got a shot in MLB.

Makes a lot of sense now....

by marc w on Dec 13, 2007 11:32 AM PST reply actions  

Manzanillo!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

by Manzanillos Cup on Dec 13, 2007 11:33 AM PST reply actions  

so..
does anybody know of a legit, comprehensive list anywhere?

by CKel on Dec 13, 2007 11:35 AM PST reply actions  

School is a job
Get off the internet and do some work
Every time Ibanez is in the lineup, God kills a mariners fan

by Brian Floyd on Dec 13, 2007 11:47 AM PST up reply actions  

touche
when u get home?
I fucking hate you Mariners

by kentroyals5 on Dec 13, 2007 11:48 AM PST up reply actions  

Tonight
Bars?
Every time Ibanez is in the lineup, God kills a mariners fan

by Brian Floyd on Dec 13, 2007 11:49 AM PST up reply actions  

We can go grab a drink or two,or 3
I have to work tomorrow..but whatever.  My sister's 30th is tomorrow...so im busy tomorrow and possibly Saturday. Give me a ring when you get into town
I fucking hate you Mariners

by kentroyals5 on Dec 13, 2007 11:59 AM PST up reply actions  

M's Check Photos from the report
A few photos of the checks written for juice by a couple of Mariner greats: http://marinerlog.com

What a strange day in MLB history!

by PP on Dec 13, 2007 11:46 AM PST reply actions  

Surprises...
None really. Pettite and Clemens maybe.

David Bell? Troy Glaus? Meh. And they still fall under the "Alleged" category.

Rick Ankiel used it to heal from an injury.

I think I count 71 total names.

Jose Vidro (DH - Ms) was arrested today in an Idaho Bathroom for having a wide stance and sucking.

by CapSea on Dec 13, 2007 11:46 AM PST reply actions  

Pettite surprises me
I always thought of him as a good wholesome family guy, not the kind of feller who does Steroids
Washington Highways

by Corco on Dec 13, 2007 11:49 AM PST up reply actions  

Same with Paul lo Duca
He's a gamer, a gritty player. It'd be like Willie taking steroids
Washington Highways

by Corco on Dec 13, 2007 11:50 AM PST up reply actions  

Lo Duca didn't surprise me.
Pettite did a bit.
I overvalue prospects

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2007 11:51 AM PST up reply actions  

Or does Family guy
need to do roids?  Peter becomes an MLB player by roiding up.  Sounds good to me.

by chrisisasavage on Dec 13, 2007 11:53 AM PST up reply actions  

Pettitte was no surprise at all if you
suspected Roger. They train together, been close friends for a looong time and Pettitte has stated that Roger helped completely redo his training regimen to keep him in better shape.

by Matthew on Dec 13, 2007 11:52 AM PST up reply actions  

Good point.
How about Franklin and Villone all buddy-buddy with their roids?
I overvalue prospects

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2007 11:53 AM PST up reply actions  

Glenallen Has An Excuse, Too
Seriously, have you seen the size of "Dream Spiders?" You need the juice: you can't scare them away being the size of Nook Lo . . . er, Brian L. Hunter.

Without his slumbering yet violent 'roid rage, that glass coffee table would still be standing, today probably holding pictures of Barry Bonds by Barry Bonds' row of eight lockers, and therefore, those arachnoid illusions would have never known that GlenAllen Hill meant serious business.

God-Speed, Glen . . . Allen.

by JoeyJoJoJuniorShabadoo on Dec 13, 2007 12:01 PM PST up reply actions  

First diary to reach 1000 comments?
These pretzels....are making me thirsty!

by Goose on Dec 13, 2007 11:51 AM PST reply actions  

No way
what more is there to talk about really? Unless pdb and plu tim fight for another 600 comments or so or Corco does some Corco-related on an epic scale

by Matthew on Dec 13, 2007 11:54 AM PST up reply actions  

Kias are great cars
Not to mention how much Canada is better than us in every way. France too.

Yeah, I agree with you, I doubt this gets higher than 400.  So, to help it along, I bought Young's Double Chocolate Stout for tonight. I heard it was delicious

Jose Vidro (DH - Ms) was arrested today in an Idaho Bathroom for having a wide stance and sucking.

by CapSea on Dec 13, 2007 11:56 AM PST up reply actions  

Didn't work.
This may not make 400.
Jose Vidro (DH - Ms) was arrested today in an Idaho Bathroom for having a wide stance and sucking.

by CapSea on Dec 13, 2007 2:47 PM PST up reply actions  

Hmmm.
Like privatized medicine works.
"I restore a sense of childlike wonder to people's lives; you give them Zunes and Vista." -- Fake Steve Jobs to Borg employees

by PositivePaul on Dec 13, 2007 3:55 PM PST up reply actions  

394 Soon to be 395
I give up, going to bed, let some other poor sucker extend the thread to 400.

by chrisisasavage on Dec 13, 2007 10:56 PM PST up reply actions  

I have to ask again.
How can some of these guys take all these "performance enhancers", and still suck as badly as they do/did?
I overvalue prospects

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2007 11:54 AM PST reply actions  

If I took performance enhancers, I'd suck too.
Jose Vidro (DH - Ms) was arrested today in an Idaho Bathroom for having a wide stance and sucking.

by CapSea on Dec 13, 2007 11:56 AM PST up reply actions  

So would I,
but I'd never manage to make it to the majors either.
I overvalue prospects

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2007 11:57 AM PST up reply actions  

because "performance enhancers"
don't really enhance baseball performance that much? Or because they were all really AAA level talents that used them to try and get up to the MLB level.

by Matthew on Dec 13, 2007 11:56 AM PST up reply actions  

Like an ugly chick getting a nose job.
The nose is better now, but she's still fugly.
I overvalue prospects

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2007 11:58 AM PST up reply actions  

regardless of what steriods do
you still gotta be able to hit the little white thing being hurled at you with the bat.  Steroids dont help hand-eye coordination and we all know that is important.

It just might help people recover quicker from injury.  

Again, even if barry didnt juice, he was still an amazing ball player due to his abilities.  He just turned into a doubles/stolen base machine to the home run monster.  Steroids helped his doubles become dingers

by tkballer22 on Dec 13, 2007 12:03 PM PST up reply actions  

That's why I'm mad he broke the record.
He doesn't deserve it. He was a HOF caliber player anyway, but now he's tainted.
I overvalue prospects

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2007 12:05 PM PST up reply actions  

'PE'Ds
really just allow athletes to recover faster from wear and tear.  That's where the performance "enhancement" comes in.  It doesn't really enhance your performance so much as your ability to sustain your highest level thereof.

by Gomez on Dec 14, 2007 9:35 AM PST up reply actions  

Where in the hell
are Barry Bonds and Mark McGwire?

by redwolf75 on Dec 13, 2007 11:57 AM PST reply actions  

Bonds has his own chapter.
Did you look at the report? I also saw McGwire mentioned as I scanned through it.
I overvalue prospects

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2007 11:59 AM PST up reply actions  

Bonds has his own section
BALCO section
Every time Ibanez is in the lineup, God kills a mariners fan

by Brian Floyd on Dec 13, 2007 11:59 AM PST up reply actions  

Search for "McGwire"
Results: 46 instances

Search for "Bonds" (case sensitive): 103 instances

"I restore a sense of childlike wonder to people's lives; you give them Zunes and Vista." -- Fake Steve Jobs to Borg employees

by PositivePaul on Dec 13, 2007 12:02 PM PST up reply actions  

Sorry, I just looked at the
revised player list on deadspin, and they weren't mentioned.

After staying up till 5 AM writing a final paper, I really do not feel like looking through a 500 page report. Heh.

by redwolf75 on Dec 13, 2007 12:05 PM PST up reply actions  

and this felt like a paper
This was longer than my Masters thesis and it was about as boring as well

by tkballer22 on Dec 13, 2007 12:11 PM PST up reply actions  

Being an open user?
The Ankiel comment about using it when he was injured makes me wonder if a player would openly use   steroids, take the suspension (being a first time offender) just so he could get back into the game quicker and rack up his service time.

 

Go Fo Broke!

by eknpdx on Dec 13, 2007 11:59 AM PST reply actions  

Juan Gonzales?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

by Paytheline on Dec 13, 2007 12:00 PM PST reply actions  

Only a couple hurt
Matt Williams, by far sucks (but we already knew about him).

David Justice also stings. (especially that he took them when the Yanks knocked out 2001 team out with the pivotal play coming when Ichiro gunned a guy at 2nd who was called safe allowing Justice to come up and hit the go ahead HR)

Lenny Dykstra? Wow.

by Slica on Dec 13, 2007 12:04 PM PST reply actions  

You know who I'd hate to be right now?
The guy who updates the mlb section of rotoworld. He must be working his ass off.
These pretzels....are making me thirsty!

by Goose on Dec 13, 2007 12:05 PM PST reply actions  

Seriously, you should read the report.
It's not old news.  It's incredible.  For example, on pages 99 - 100, they repeat the report of the Expos bullpen catcher that every pitcher on the Expos was using steroids.

by Paytheline on Dec 13, 2007 12:05 PM PST reply actions  

It's everything we already knew.
It's just all in one place now is all.
I overvalue prospects

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2007 12:07 PM PST up reply actions  

Read it
and tell me you knew everything in it.

by Paytheline on Dec 13, 2007 12:09 PM PST up reply actions  

Fair enough
but man, I didn't.  Reading about all the enablers and hangers-on is truly gaggarific.  Who knew that even Juan Gone had an entourage of druggies when he was with Cleveland?

by Paytheline on Dec 13, 2007 12:14 PM PST up reply actions  

I guess I should say I had heard at least
rumors about most of the report. Some of the details (I haven't read them all) are surprising though.
I overvalue prospects

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2007 12:26 PM PST up reply actions  

Damn.... Really?
Jose Vidro (DH - Ms) was arrested today in an Idaho Bathroom for having a wide stance and sucking.

by CapSea on Dec 13, 2007 12:08 PM PST up reply actions  

File--> Save Page as
Will give me something to read during the graveyard shifts.
These pretzels....are making me thirsty!

by Goose on Dec 13, 2007 12:09 PM PST reply actions  

Rotoworld is making a list of all the names in
the report here
These pretzels....are making me thirsty!

by Goose on Dec 13, 2007 12:11 PM PST reply actions  

No comment on Nook Logan?
Also, yeah, not too big a surprise given that many of these names were already in circulation.  But... Ron Villone?!  Really, RV?  I guess he had to keep his sexy figure somehow :P

I wonder what Selig will do in response, or if he'll go back to his old standby: ignore it and hope it goes away.

by Gomez on Dec 13, 2007 12:17 PM PST reply actions  

He's welcome to suspend all of those players
because as far as I'm concerned, no one on the list is much of a loss to baseball, seeing as all of those players are terrible. It's not like they're suspending A-rod or Pujols. Suspend them all to give the impression they you care, even though you don't, since I don't think there are any teams that will miss any of the players on that list for 20 days.
Jose Vidro (DH - Ms) was arrested today in an Idaho Bathroom for having a wide stance and sucking.

by CapSea on Dec 13, 2007 12:20 PM PST up reply actions  

Interesting Juxtaposition...
I'm listening to the streaming audio over the 'Net (my XM's in the car) and interestingly, the commercial break immediately following the latest segment on the Mitchell Report???

None other than a vignette of Hank Aaron's chase of the HR record, and audio of him looking back on it...

Hmmmm.

"I restore a sense of childlike wonder to people's lives; you give them Zunes and Vista." -- Fake Steve Jobs to Borg employees

by PositivePaul on Dec 13, 2007 12:23 PM PST reply actions  

Page 42
"From my experience in Northern Ireland I learned that letting go of the past and looking to the future is a very hard but necessary step toward dealing with an ongoing problem" Does anybody know what that's all about? Northern Ireland!?
Washington Highways

by Corco on Dec 13, 2007 12:25 PM PST reply actions  

I guess
he just wanted to make sure the Mariners knew he'd been through wars...
"I restore a sense of childlike wonder to people's lives; you give them Zunes and Vista." -- Fake Steve Jobs to Borg employees

by PositivePaul on Dec 13, 2007 12:26 PM PST up reply actions  

I just didn't know
he had to do with anything up there. But I see now that he did. Still seems like an unnecessary self-plug
Washington Highways

by Corco on Dec 13, 2007 12:29 PM PST up reply actions  

George Mitchell bio
  • Age: 74
  • Former US Senator (D-Maine), May 1980-Jan. 1995
  • Chairman, Walt Disney Company, March 2004-Dec. 2006
  • Currently Chairman of the Global Board, DLA Piper (law firm)
  • Chaired negotiations for Belfast Peace Agreement in Northern Ireland (1998)
  • Director, Boston Red Sox
  • Head of investigation into past steroid use by MLB players
  • Drives a Kia
  • Doesn't Like Gate B-11.  Much.
"I restore a sense of childlike wonder to people's lives; you give them Zunes and Vista." -- Fake Steve Jobs to Borg employees

by PositivePaul on Dec 13, 2007 12:31 PM PST up reply actions  

Ah
I thought you were prefessing ignorance about the shit that's been going down there for the past ever.

My bad.

by Graham MacAree on Dec 13, 2007 12:32 PM PST up reply actions  

terrorism?
I agree if the 66 virgins part is true. Otherwise...

by Matthew on Dec 13, 2007 12:37 PM PST up reply actions  

Hate to disappoint you...
...but I heard back from the afterlife.  You get 65 and they're definitely not virgins.  

//resists making a JAP joke...

"I restore a sense of childlike wonder to people's lives; you give them Zunes and Vista." -- Fake Steve Jobs to Borg employees

by PositivePaul on Dec 13, 2007 12:42 PM PST up reply actions  

Who is this Roth
and why do old people keep giving him money to blow away Irishpeople?

by Gomez on Dec 13, 2007 12:40 PM PST up reply actions  

Meh
the most interesting parts of the report are the internal memos about Lo Duca, Gagne, and Brown.  The report that Lo Duca would go back on the juice out of spite if he was traded from LA was pretty funny.  

by abelard on Dec 13, 2007 1:27 PM PST reply actions  

Can we get a FanGraph on this?
I have no idea how it would work but it would be interesting.

by mark s @ Lookout Landing on Dec 13, 2007 2:05 PM PST reply actions  

I don't know if this has been posted,
but I haven't seen it yet. Here's the official list of players associated (if only vaguely)with the M's that were named:

Ryan Franklin
Ismael Valdez
Jose Guillen
Josias Manzanillo
Jim Parque
Fernando Vina
Todd Williams
Ron Villone
Glenallen Hill
Josias Manzanillo
Manny Alexander
David Segui

I overvalue prospects

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2007 2:07 PM PST reply actions  

And I missed David Bell somehow.
Not a bad turnout either way.
I overvalue prospects

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2007 2:13 PM PST up reply actions  

Whatever happened to that one pitcher
Who lost a testicle after he got him by a baseball, but still ran off the field anyway? What was his name? He ever make it anywhere?
Jose Vidro (DH - Ms) was arrested today in an Idaho Bathroom for having a wide stance and sucking.

by CapSea on Dec 13, 2007 8:21 PM PST up reply actions  

Yeah... back in like 1998....
Josias Manzanillo - Ironically one of the people named in the Mitchell Report today.  Got hit in the balls by a line drive by Manny Ramirez in 1997. Ruptured a testicle - he sprinted off the field anyway.

http://archives.seattletimes.nwsource.com/cgi-bin/texis.cgi/web/vortex/display?slug=2533133&date =19970410&query=Josias+Manzanillo

Also Ironic, Hargrove was Cleveland's manager at the time.

Manzanillo was known for running on/off the field at full sprint every time he came in. I can't find the proof, but you'll have to trust me that he ran off the field that day at full sprint before going to the hospital to get his testicle removed.

Jose Vidro (DH - Ms) was arrested today in an Idaho Bathroom for having a wide stance and sucking.

by CapSea on Dec 13, 2007 9:39 PM PST up reply actions  

1997, excuse me.
Jose Vidro (DH - Ms) was arrested today in an Idaho Bathroom for having a wide stance and sucking.

by CapSea on Dec 13, 2007 9:40 PM PST up reply actions  

No Morse?!?
I guess the minor leagues don't count?
Go M's

by OBF on Dec 13, 2007 2:16 PM PST reply actions  

Submitted without comment:
These pretzels....are making me thirsty!

by Goose on Dec 13, 2007 3:11 PM PST reply actions  

Major League Baseball...
...you officially just got served!

by Matthew on Dec 13, 2007 3:13 PM PST up reply actions  

Whodathunkit?
He's so mellow and calm all the time.
I overvalue prospects

by Thingray on Dec 13, 2007 4:31 PM PST up reply actions  

I'll bet
it was all those immigrants on the 7 train that gave him steroids.
Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Dec 13, 2007 4:39 PM PST up reply actions  

It appears Baker takes this stuff very seriously.
Jose Vidro (DH - Ms) was arrested today in an Idaho Bathroom for having a wide stance and sucking.

by CapSea on Dec 13, 2007 4:54 PM PST reply actions  

Totally...
The most controversial name was either Roger Clemens or Andy Pettitte.

Way to go out on a limb Mitchell Report.  That was really worth it.

by Patrick517 on Dec 15, 2007 10:11 AM PST up reply actions  

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