FanPost

Rosterbation time

Here's a list of things the Mariners can do to improve next year, rather than pay high priced free agents or trade the farm for players that are already past their primes.


  1. Immediately fire John McLaren and replace him with Rambo.

  2. Get Adam Jones the Sword of Power so he can transform into He-Man.

  3. Teach Willie to throw a wicked breaking knuckleball, then plug him in the rotation.

  4. Replace the Moose with rabid Wolverines and place them in a (easily escapable) cages around the benches in the opposing teams dugout.

  5. Have a high powered laser pointer night.

  6. Have Stink Bomb/Bottle rocket, LA Angel/Red Sox/Yankee Voodoo Doll, Free Spider Monkey, and Super Soaker full of Moose urine nights.

  7. Invest heavily in gene doping technology before the MLB catches on.

  8. Replace Raul Ibanez and Jarrod Washburn with a Terminator replicas programmed to play baseball at an elite level.

We need more outside the box thinking, since being a GM is becoming a tough job that not any hobo can do anymore.
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