Community Projection: Jarrod Washburn

by Jeff Sullivan on Nov 27, 2007 8:33 PM PST in Seattle Mariners Regular News

The twelfth in a non-alphabetical and irregularly updated series of review pieces for each of the players we predicted last winter. (All entries are linked in the left-hand sidebar, below the Rotoworld stuff and the interviews.)

LL/USSM Community: 191.1 IP, 4.76 RA, 4.81 FIP (n=85)
Actual Line: 193.2 IP, 4.74 RA, 4.73 FIP

Closest Projection: Sportswhiz, 4.73 RA, 4.74 FIP

Behold the veteran pitcher about whom there is absolutely nothing interesting to say. When you're that easy to project, you're boring. So in lieu of extended commentary, here's Dschinghis Khan.

Washburn is a flyball, contact pitcher who survives by means of magic. He will continue to survive by means of magic until he doesn't, at which point he'll be a ticking time bomb just weeks away from having to find a new line of work. Halfway through an expensive contract, all we can do is hope that Washburn's magic machine doesn't break down for another two seasons. Wait, what's that say there by the dial? "Made In America"? Uh oh.

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His magic

Generally runs out after about 90 pitches a game. After that he needs a recharge. Basically like a rechargable battery that's been used way too many times. Pretty soon it won't recharge anymore...

by ThundaPC on Nov 27, 2007 8:52 PM PST reply actions

McLaren: I want our starters to go 120 pitches

2008 is going to be awesome.

Yesterday's Pants

by Katal LM on Nov 28, 2007 7:10 AM PST up reply actions

"Made In America"? Uh oh.

It's like the Corco version of the bat signal.

by Robert on Nov 27, 2007 8:53 PM PST reply actions

This is ouuurrrrrr pitcher

I bet Washburn's from one of the places Corco's proud to be from, as well. There seem to be a lot of those.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Nov 27, 2007 9:21 PM PST up reply actions

I AM PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN

WHERE AT LEAST I KNOW I'M FREE. AND I WILL CERTAINLY NOT FORGET THE MEN WHO DIED TO GIVE THAT RIGHT TO ME. AND I'LL GLADLY STAND UP! NEXT TO YOU AND DEFEND HER STILL TODAY. AIN'T NO DOUBT I LOVE THIS LAND!!! GOD BLESS THE U---SSS----AAAA!!!!!!!!!1

Washington Highways

by Corco on Nov 28, 2007 9:38 PM PST up reply actions

AND I'M PROUD TO BE A CANADIAN

WHERE AT LEAST NO ONE BOMBS ME. AND I WON'T FORGET THE MEN WHO SIGHED WHEN THEY WATCHED YOU ON TV. AND I'LL GLADLY STAND UP BEHIND YOU AS YOUR FOREIGN SUPPORT IS IN DECAY. CAUSE THEIR AIN'T NO CLOUT LEFT IN YOUR LAND. GOD BLESS THE CALGARY FLAMES!!!!!!!!!!11

Jose Vidro (DH - Ms) was arrested today in an Idaho Bathroom for having a wide stance and sucking.

by CapSea on Nov 28, 2007 11:47 PM PST up reply actions

I'm not a Canadian

Just want to clear that up right here.

Jose Vidro (DH - Ms) was arrested today in an Idaho Bathroom for having a wide stance and sucking.

by CapSea on Nov 28, 2007 11:47 PM PST up reply actions

OMFG...

I loathe scathing liberals about as much as I loathe right-wing bushwackers. But at least the liberals make me LMFAO!!!!!!!

"I restore a sense of childlike wonder to people's lives; you give them Zunes and Vista." -- Fake Steve Jobs to Borg employees

by PositivePaul on Nov 29, 2007 7:47 AM PST up reply actions

Politics were meant for amusement

Because they certainly were not meant for anything else.

Jose Vidro (DH - Ms) was arrested today in an Idaho Bathroom for having a wide stance and sucking.

by CapSea on Nov 29, 2007 10:25 AM PST up reply actions

Librocat weren't you the one bitching

about the politics of people on youtube?

You'll love this dude:

http://www.youtube.com/user/TomCatScat

by redwolf75 on Nov 29, 2007 2:53 PM PST up reply actions

crat*

by redwolf75 on Nov 29, 2007 2:53 PM PST up reply actions

I claim to be from McCall ID and Columbus OH

I have also lived in Geneva IL, Boise ID and Tacoma WA

AND I AM PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN!!!

Washington Highways

by Corco on Nov 28, 2007 9:40 PM PST up reply actions

Do not ever post between 8pm-->8am.

Ever.

by Jeff Sullivan on Nov 29, 2007 12:31 AM PST up reply actions

Damn that's catchy.

These pretzels....are making me thirsty!

by Goose on Nov 27, 2007 9:24 PM PST reply actions

totally

by Matthew on Nov 27, 2007 9:34 PM PST up reply actions

Holy shit!

A dschingis khan video on LL?

I've got some of their 45s... Loreley will burn your fucking ears off, and the cover (below) is simultaneously the ugliest and most german thing ever

For more Dschingisian goodness, check out this classic video, which comes from WFMU.

Washburn will never suck in as entertaining a manner as those guys.

by marc w on Nov 27, 2007 9:46 PM PST reply actions

btw, this video is what I imagine all Russians

to be like 100% of the time. I hope I'm not dissappointed when I head over there to find out.

by Matthew on Nov 27, 2007 10:05 PM PST up reply actions

They're German

but yeah, I thought the same thing.

by Jeff Sullivan on Nov 27, 2007 11:00 PM PST up reply actions

I know

it's still what I hope Russia is like.

by Matthew on Nov 27, 2007 11:22 PM PST up reply actions

Only two are German

the other members of the group are/were hungarian, dutch and south-african, acc. to Wikipedia.

And I am amazed that you know this act stateside. The clip is straight from German public television.

by vj on Nov 28, 2007 8:34 AM PST up reply actions

Link

hmm, let's try that again.

by marc w on Nov 27, 2007 10:07 PM PST up reply actions

Germans...

People don't seem to understand why those of German descent try to...spread out every once in a while.

It's not so much that we like France, we're just trying to escape each other.

by Gromky on Nov 28, 2007 1:08 AM PST up reply actions

In Germany

whenever a party gets lame, you play Moskau by Dschinghis Khan and everybody starts to rock again. No matter the age, everybody loves this song :-)

by Schuxu on Nov 28, 2007 5:16 AM PST up reply actions

Boney M

works even better.

What is it with Germans and cheesy, ultra-crappy disco?

by marc w on Nov 28, 2007 8:21 AM PST up reply actions

why do you have to dis Boney M like that?

by Matthew on Nov 28, 2007 8:36 AM PST up reply actions

Don't hate the playa, matthew

hate Boney M's brand of crappy euro-disco. Examine the root causes of my antipathy, and you'll see that Boney M's provocations started when I was just an infant. You can view my dis as overly harsh, but you really can't call it capricious.

But I do keep a stash of Boney M 45s and 12" singles on hand just in case I'm beset by Germans with hostile intent.

by marc w on Nov 28, 2007 9:22 AM PST up reply actions

Me?

I make sure I have reruns of Knight Rider and a cache of David Hasselhoff videos. That works just the same...

"I restore a sense of childlike wonder to people's lives; you give them Zunes and Vista." -- Fake Steve Jobs to Borg employees

by PositivePaul on Nov 28, 2007 9:25 AM PST up reply actions

I keep a Spitfire in my garden, personally

by Graham MacAree on Nov 28, 2007 9:39 AM PST up reply actions

I thought it

was standard british policy to beg America for help when beset by hostile germans

by kenshin1 @ Lookout Landing on Nov 28, 2007 9:55 AM PST up reply actions

No, we shoot down all their planes

And then ask for food.

This American conceit about them being the saviors of Europe during World War II is one of your more annoying traits.

by Graham MacAree on Nov 28, 2007 9:57 AM PST up reply actions

Don't forget you also asked us for

ships, planes, tanks, trucks, bombs, guns, ammunition and troops.

I overvalue prospects

by Thingray on Nov 28, 2007 10:04 AM PST up reply actions

For the invasion, sure

You were nowhere to be seen during the Blitz.

by Graham MacAree on Nov 28, 2007 10:06 AM PST up reply actions

Hmmm.

I blame Coach Holmgren...

"I restore a sense of childlike wonder to people's lives; you give them Zunes and Vista." -- Fake Steve Jobs to Borg employees

by PositivePaul on Nov 28, 2007 10:10 AM PST up reply actions

Your just still bitter over 1812

by Robert on Nov 28, 2007 10:56 AM PST up reply actions

:P

by Graham MacAree on Nov 28, 2007 11:02 AM PST up reply actions

Let's not forget

Germany is 0-2 in World Wars.

by Gomez on Nov 28, 2007 11:19 AM PST up reply actions

Let's not start gloating yet

the US is being dragged towards the .500 line in 20th/21st century wars as we speak.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Nov 28, 2007 11:20 AM PST up reply actions

Regression to the mean.

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

by Phil Hatzenbuehler on Nov 28, 2007 11:24 AM PST up reply actions

Dunkirk!

What are you talking about?!? Wasn't there a "Mission Accomplished!" sign posted or something???

"I restore a sense of childlike wonder to people's lives; you give them Zunes and Vista." -- Fake Steve Jobs to Borg employees

by PositivePaul on Nov 28, 2007 11:25 AM PST up reply actions

But their Pythag is so good

by Robert on Nov 28, 2007 11:39 AM PST up reply actions

the US is the Rick White of International Battles

Jose Vidro (DH - Ms) was arrested today in an Idaho Bathroom for having a wide stance and sucking.

by CapSea on Nov 28, 2007 11:54 AM PST up reply actions

It's got giving the finger down pat

by Robert on Nov 28, 2007 12:03 PM PST up reply actions

Early Success

Been through the wars. A proven veteran with basically no competency left and anger management issues. Also, likes to hunt.

Jose Vidro (DH - Ms) was arrested today in an Idaho Bathroom for having a wide stance and sucking.

by CapSea on Nov 28, 2007 12:06 PM PST up reply actions

Good Pythag + bad record

has to be bad managing

by Schuxu on Nov 28, 2007 4:02 PM PST up reply actions

way too agressive on the campaign paths

by Matthew on Nov 28, 2007 4:17 PM PST up reply actions

At least he's a cool dude

Talent is more important but him and Batista plus Ichiro give us amazing quotes.

by Edgar for Pres on Nov 27, 2007 9:59 PM PST reply actions

Wow

I motion to dub Jarrod 'Dschinghis Khan' in ironic fashion from here on out, just because. That video just blew my fucking mind for dubious reasons.

by Gomez on Nov 27, 2007 10:01 PM PST reply actions

Don't you mean

Americanos?

Damn. It's been almost twenty years since I had the pleasure of watching Knight Rider in German. It seemed like that video, though, and the following one were always playing on TV (along with, of course, Knight Rider) -- To this day, almost twenty years later, I can't get either of these damned songs out of my head:

Between their fashion and their sense of what's entertaining, I find the Germans quite interesting people. I love them for sure, but they definitely have interesting tastes...

"I restore a sense of childlike wonder to people's lives; you give them Zunes and Vista." -- Fake Steve Jobs to Borg employees

by PositivePaul on Nov 27, 2007 11:54 PM PST reply actions

I was kind of disappointed

Back in high school, the German exchange students always wore weird clothes -- jackets with a dozen functionless zippers, and oversized wool sweaters in clashing colors like lime green and burnt orange. When I finally went to Germany a few years ago, I was expecting more of the same. I was kind of disappointed in how normal their clothes were.

I was also surprised that the Germans I met generally liked and respected the French, but openly mocked the Dutch and their bicycles, autobahn-clogging campers, and smartass ways (I forget the German word and its precise meaning, but "smartass" was the rough translation).

by G_ on Nov 28, 2007 9:50 AM PST up reply actions

Depends on what part of Germany...

I remember Berlin and Hanover being pretty wild, fashion-wise. Of course, this was before the wall came down, and there definitely was a difference in East and West Berlin, so...

In my experience, the Germans aren't nearly as bothered by the French as they are the Dutch and the "Turks." I'm not sure which is more intense -- the German mockery of Turks or the British mockery of the French...

"I restore a sense of childlike wonder to people's lives; you give them Zunes and Vista." -- Fake Steve Jobs to Borg employees

by PositivePaul on Nov 28, 2007 9:57 AM PST up reply actions

Frankfurt-Manheim-Wurzburg

So, yeah, it was this decade, and in one of the areas with perhaps the most (other) Western European and U.S. influence.

by G_ on Nov 28, 2007 10:53 AM PST up reply actions

//reads comment

//looks over at coat rack in office

Coatrack: <holds burnt orange shell jacket and lime green zip up hoodie>

Dammit...

by Matthew on Nov 28, 2007 11:21 AM PST up reply actions

Just tell your indie-band-loving,

hipster-doofus friends that you wear it ironically.

by G_ on Nov 28, 2007 12:31 PM PST up reply actions

Klugscheisser?

by Schuxu on Nov 28, 2007 4:00 PM PST up reply actions

There is some commentary about Washburn

his ability to pitch almost "magically" well, as you said, until about 85 pitches was still impressive and a surprise to everyone. In fact, if it stays that way, and we had a competent management <pause for laughter> he could actually be incredibly useful.

I mean, he can't and we won't. But eh.

Jose Vidro (DH - Ms) was arrested today in an Idaho Bathroom for having a wide stance and sucking.

by CapSea on Nov 28, 2007 12:28 AM PST reply actions