Completely off topic [COMPLETED]

by Corco on Oct 10, 2007 2:50 PM PDT

I come from the midwest originally. My parents make great ham salad.

Lately, I've had a craving like no other for ham salad and am on a mission to find it. I can't seem to find it in any grocery store deli and I don't have the resources to make it myself.

Does anyone know where I can go to buy ham salad? I'm willing to drive 75 miles (so the area bounded by Marysville to the north, Chehalis to the south, and I guess Morton/Granite Falls/Enumclaw to the east, and I can go as far west as Aberdeen)

This is URGENT Update [2007-10-10 19:50:53 by David Corcoran]:- Nobody ever told me about the "hand blender" and I found one of those and bought requisite ingredients. So I made me some ham salad using butter knives and a hand blender. It's absolutely delicious.

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I can't help you

but if you're willing to drive 75 miles to get it you're obviously a fan. What, pray, is ham salad? I'm envisioning a bed of iceberg lettuce, a bunch of shredded ham, and since it's a Midwestern thing, a lot of mayonnaise or miracle whip binding it together. But that doesn't sound like something worth driving .75 miles for, much less 75. So, what actually is ham salad?

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Oct 10, 2007 3:06 PM PDT reply actions

You're close

It's basically chopped ham, celery, and onions chopped up. You then toss in some relish, dijon mustard, and hold it all together with mayonaise in the food-processor.

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by Corco on Oct 10, 2007 3:10 PM PDT up reply actions

Sounds easy to make,

why can't you just do it yourself? All the ingredients are easily available at an grocery store.

I'm never blocking a fire exit.

by Thingray on Oct 10, 2007 3:11 PM PDT up reply actions

I live in a dorm

No kitchen

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by Corco on Oct 10, 2007 3:11 PM PDT up reply actions

You don't have a friend with an apartment

or something? If not, you might try someplace like Central Market, Trader Joe's, or down at Pike Place Market (some of the more specialized stores).

Or if it's an ethnic type of food, find the nearest deli that carries that type of food.

It doesn't sound very good to me, but whatever floats your boat man!

I'm never blocking a fire exit.

by Thingray on Oct 10, 2007 3:28 PM PDT up reply actions

What, your dorm doesn't have a group kitchen?

by eponymous coward on Oct 10, 2007 3:35 PM PDT up reply actions

It does

but it doesn't have a food processor or knives or anything of that nature

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by Corco on Oct 10, 2007 3:40 PM PDT up reply actions

so, yeah

I'll probably just end up buying a food processor and making it myself

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by Corco on Oct 10, 2007 3:41 PM PDT up reply actions

actually no

I really want ham salad but it's not worth buying a $100 food processor

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by Corco on Oct 10, 2007 3:44 PM PDT up reply actions

I dunno

I'd rather pay $100 then drive an hour to get a meal and an hour to get back.

http://seattlesportsmaniac.blogspot.com

by LantermanC on Oct 11, 2007 5:17 AM PDT up reply actions

Try Big Lots

I'm sure you can find a cheap food processor there. Or, of course Wally World...

I wonder if it's something the Southern Kitchen restaurant could fix up for ya. It's a great place to eat (in Tacoma anyway -- the Oly version wasn't as good, IMHO), and definitely an interesting ambience. Not sure what southern cookin' has to do with midwest cookin' but, hey, I'm sure there's a connection...

Imagine what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zig-zag...

by PositivePaul on Oct 10, 2007 3:45 PM PDT up reply actions

I actually called them already.

Because I love their chicken fried steak.

They don't sell it.

May head over to Big Lots

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by Corco on Oct 10, 2007 3:48 PM PDT up reply actions

Kitchen knives and spatulas aren't THAT expensive.

Think of it as an investment for when you get out of the dorms. ;)

by eponymous coward on Oct 10, 2007 5:23 PM PDT up reply actions

And it is delicious

I've had many people's ham salads, and never met one I didn't like.

I can taste it in my mouth right now and I need some.

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by Corco on Oct 10, 2007 3:11 PM PDT up reply actions

Wow...

...that sounds utterly disgusting. Good luck finding it, though.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Oct 10, 2007 3:17 PM PDT up reply actions

I'm not even sure what "ham salad" is...

Sounds a little naughty if you ask me.

I'm never blocking a fire exit.

by Thingray on Oct 10, 2007 3:06 PM PDT reply actions

Perhaps this??

I'm never blocking a fire exit.

by Thingray on Oct 10, 2007 3:07 PM PDT up reply actions

Well, I found a place where I can order it

from Kentucky.

But it will take a couple weeks. So that's a last resort option.

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by Corco on Oct 10, 2007 3:31 PM PDT reply actions

Mmmmm

nothing better than two-week-old, mailed, room temperature mayonnaise-based food.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Oct 10, 2007 3:36 PM PDT up reply actions

exactly

It's great fresh, but I'm not sure if 2 week old ham salad would be very good

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by Corco on Oct 10, 2007 3:38 PM PDT up reply actions

I might be able to special order it from QFC

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by Corco on Oct 10, 2007 3:49 PM PDT reply actions

I was just going to say,

maybe you could ask your local deli manager if they can make you some.

I'm never blocking a fire exit.

by Thingray on Oct 10, 2007 3:51 PM PDT up reply actions

I'd still try Central Market though,

they seem to carry weird stuff like that.

I'm never blocking a fire exit.

by Thingray on Oct 10, 2007 3:52 PM PDT up reply actions

It's so weird

how in Washington, ham salad is "weird stuff" that nobody has heard of, but just 1000 miles to the east you can't avoid it.

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by Corco on Oct 10, 2007 3:54 PM PDT up reply actions

strange concept for me as well

go to school in Arizona, home is Texas... never heard of it

by thenatural on Oct 10, 2007 4:09 PM PDT up reply actions

It's mainly a dish

in West Virginia, Kentucky, Tennessee, Ohio, Indiana, Michigan, Illinois, and eastern Iowa/Missouri. You can get it at every grocery store deli there.

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by Corco on Oct 10, 2007 6:50 PM PDT up reply actions

I'm sure it works both ways,

but you're right. It's like poi. In Hawaii it's EVERYWHERE (and it tastes nasty IMO), but most people on the mainland have never even heard of it.

I'm never blocking a fire exit.

by Thingray on Oct 10, 2007 4:10 PM PDT up reply actions

You my friend, just don't understand

the purpose of poi.

It's not a meal in of itself. It is like rice or noodles. What you eat it with is more important - like salt meat watercress or kim chee. Or better yet, aku palu.

Go Fo Broke!

by eknpdx on Oct 10, 2007 4:27 PM PDT up reply actions

My Dad lived in Hawaii while I was growing up,

so I'd visit him whenever I was out of school. I've tried poi a thousand ways, but I never found a single use of it that I actually found to be tasty.

But that's just my humble opinion. I can't stand feta cheese either, but some people (my GF included) love the stuff.

I'm never blocking a fire exit.

by Thingray on Oct 10, 2007 4:45 PM PDT up reply actions

It definitely works both ways

I had never heard of sushi until I moved out west.

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by Corco on Oct 10, 2007 7:50 PM PDT up reply actions

How about

you buy all of the ingredients and pay a user fee of $10.00 to use the food processor (and a knife) of one of the people here?

I'd help but I doubt you'd want to come down to AZ just to make Ham Salad.

"You guys should be in every major city. This is some heavy shit. This is, like, Lone Ranger heavy, man."

by AZSEAfan on Oct 10, 2007 4:14 PM PDT reply actions

Just by a processor

A decent food processor is one of the best little investments you can make.

Besides, chicks dig guys who feed them.

Go Fo Broke!

by eknpdx on Oct 10, 2007 4:37 PM PDT reply actions

unless you feed them ham salad

I imagine.

by Matthew on Oct 10, 2007 4:40 PM PDT up reply actions

HAHAHAHAHA!!!

I'm never blocking a fire exit.

by Thingray on Oct 10, 2007 4:50 PM PDT up reply actions

Are you pregnant?

Is that what's going on? It's okay - no one will judge you.

by FWombat on Oct 10, 2007 4:47 PM PDT reply actions

lol.

"Kruger! My sun tells me, your company shtinks!"-Frank Costanza.

by Coach Owens on Oct 10, 2007 5:05 PM PDT up reply actions

No

merely a college student who has been denied food with flavor

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by Corco on Oct 10, 2007 5:38 PM PDT up reply actions

mayo isn't a flavor

it's a heart attack.

by Matthew on Oct 10, 2007 7:19 PM PDT up reply actions

Congratulations

I imagine today was a hellish day. I'm glad you got your ham and mayo fix

by thenatural on Oct 10, 2007 7:27 PM PDT reply actions

It still wasn't perfect

The hand blender doesn't chop things that well, so rather than finely slicing the onion I'd hit a huge chunk of onion or celery.

So it was good, but I'd still like to find real food.

Best reaction upon walking to a deli counter:

Me: You don't happen to have ham salad by chance, do you?
Deli lady: Hmmm...Yes, we do!
Me: excited
Deli lady: shows me a salad with ham in it
Me: That's not really what I meant...Ham Salad's a midwestern dish. It's kind of like potato salad but with ham instead of potatoes
Deli lady: looks shocked What? No, we don't have that.
Me: Thanks.

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by Corco on Oct 10, 2007 7:42 PM PDT reply actions

It would be best...

to compare it to tuna salad, when you try to order. Not sure if tuna salad is big up there or not either.

I like both, but can't eat it with mayo. I have to only use mustard. Just really don't like white creamy stuff.

Also, you might buy the chopped ham or deviled ham in a can. Also, in the produce section or sometimes on the shelf, you can buy diced onion like garlic usually is (not minced, but you can get that to). As for celery, guess you will always have to chop it.

Might just have to send you some sharper knives or at least have you go buy a paring knife to at least have something remotely sharp.

by ppl4life on Oct 11, 2007 10:30 AM PDT up reply actions

I was actually thinking about that

and I thought "You know, since I moved to Idaho I've never had tuna salad outside of my own home"

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by Corco on Oct 11, 2007 10:38 AM PDT up reply actions

OOOOhhhh.

So it's like tuna salad, except with ham instead of tuna? Gotcha.

Well, I know you're not a big mayo fan, but I'm very particular about the mayo I use in my tuna salad (I swear by Best Foods, especially the 'light' version). Otherwise, tuna salad as I know it is this:

--tuna,
--finely-chopped pickles (I prefer Kosher dills),
--finely-chopped onions (I prefer Walla Walla sweets)
--mayo (I prefer Best Foods, but my g-ma used to make it with Miracle Whip, which at times was vile)

all stirred together and slapped on bread as a sandwich. Slap a slice of cheddar and throw it in the toaster, and you've got a tuna melt.

Imagine what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zig-zag...

by PositivePaul on Oct 11, 2007 11:33 AM PDT up reply actions

More or less...

his version was a little different, seeing as they used relish instead of just pickles. Probably to add sweetness.

Speaking of relish, it is hard to find just straight dill relish now days -- at least down here. Everything is sweet relish.

Egg salad, tuna salad, chicken salad, ham salad -- they are all basically the same, just a different protein.

by ppl4life on Oct 11, 2007 12:25 PM PDT up reply actions

and ham salad is way the fuck better than

chicken and tuna salad

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by Corco on Oct 11, 2007 12:26 PM PDT up reply actions

Good enough to garner 47 comments

so far. Pretty impressive for a pretty mundane food.

I'm never blocking a fire exit.

by Thingray on Oct 11, 2007 12:29 PM PDT up reply actions

Well, hey, then...

I'll just have to get some finely-chopped ham and try this myself, then -- my tuna salad recipe, that is, with ham swapped in for the tuna. I can actually imagine that it would be rather solid...

Imagine what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zig-zag...

by PositivePaul on Oct 11, 2007 12:50 PM PDT up reply actions

Why stop there?

Seriously, *insert product* salad can be almost anything.

Try crab, shrimp, roast beef, smoked turkey, various sausages, etc.

Throw in some raisins, or dried cranberries, and slivered almonds, pine nuts, etc.

You don't have to grind it into a paste either.

Go Fo Broke!

by eknpdx on Oct 11, 2007 12:56 PM PDT up reply actions

Mmmm.

Chocolate Bacon Salad!

//hold the mayo on that one...

Imagine what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zig-zag...

by PositivePaul on Oct 11, 2007 1:03 PM PDT up reply actions

With salmon garnish!

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Oct 11, 2007 1:05 PM PDT up reply actions

See, here's the thing...

The reason why Corco's Ham Concoction sounds decent to me is that I'm really not much of a seafood lover. In fact, the smell of seafood generally repulses me. Every once in awhile I get a craving for tuna fish, but that's just an oddity. I've been looking for an alternative to tuna in the mix, because it's generally quite good when I'm into it, but then I get a whiff of that seafood/fishy smell and quickly go back to being repulsed.

I've tried it w/chicken, but chicken isn't nearly as good -- there's a certain salty quality that's missing, that would clearly be covered by using ham.

I do understand, though, that living in "Seattle" and being repulsed by seafood is almost as bad as being here and being repulsed by coffee...

Imagine what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zig-zag...

by PositivePaul on Oct 11, 2007 1:10 PM PDT up reply actions

Born and raised in Seattle...

...and coffee disgusts me. To the extent that I won't even eat tiramisu if it even has a hint of coffee flavor to it. I always felt like the only Seattleite that didn't drink coffee, especially when I worked on 15th ave E, where there are two Starbucks less than a block from each other and they both do a ton of business.

I'm kinda there with the seafood - I like things with gills, not so much things with shells or claws. But I'll almost never cook fish at home because the smell is disgusting.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Oct 11, 2007 1:19 PM PDT up reply actions

I don't drink coffee

unless I'm drunk and trying to sober up, or if I'm up at an ungodly hour and outside on a cold day (say, fishing or something).

I'm never blocking a fire exit.

by Thingray on Oct 11, 2007 1:20 PM PDT up reply actions

Mmmm

Mayo, celery, onions, and chocolate. Yes!

Go Fo Broke!

by eknpdx on Oct 11, 2007 1:05 PM PDT up reply actions

Definetly do not over-grind.

I hate when people blend it down like a thick, meaty milkshake.

I'm never blocking a fire exit.

by Thingray on Oct 11, 2007 1:04 PM PDT up reply actions

you make egg salad with mayo?

by Matthew on Oct 11, 2007 12:33 PM PDT up reply actions

You don't?

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by Corco on Oct 11, 2007 12:34 PM PDT up reply actions

no

but I will never eat mayo, so maybe it's just me.

by Matthew on Oct 11, 2007 12:39 PM PDT up reply actions

I like to subsitute ranch dressing

for mayo in most of my recipes.

I'm never blocking a fire exit.

by Thingray on Oct 11, 2007 12:45 PM PDT up reply actions

that's just as terrible!

though it would taste a lot better than mayo.

by Matthew on Oct 11, 2007 12:47 PM PDT up reply actions

It obviously doesn't work for some things,

but for sandwiches, tuna fish, and some other stuff it's pretty damn good.

Of course, I am a ranch dressing addict, especially Hidden Valley Ranch.

I'm never blocking a fire exit.

by Thingray on Oct 11, 2007 12:53 PM PDT up reply actions

I have a weird prejudice against

foods that I consider to add only fat and no nutritional benefit. It's basically limited to mayo (will only use the miracle whip stuff as a substitute), salad dressings (kinda ruins the whole point when your salad contains 900 calories of dressing) and things like whole milk where there are viable lower fat options available.

by Matthew on Oct 11, 2007 12:57 PM PDT up reply actions