56-63

by Jeff Sullivan on Aug 16, 2006 2:10 AM PDT in Seattle Mariners Regular News

Haha, Joel Pineiro is the worst pitcher alive.

I was relieved that I got the night off from Mariner baseball for the first time in a while, but I'm also somewhat glad they lost, because I want to be here if and when they ever end this streak. More than a little anxious, I got a text message around 8:15 or so that read "9 0 a's bottom 4" and I breathed a little sigh of relief. "Not tonight," I said to myself. "Thank God."

Biggest Contribution: Greg Dobbs, +1.8%. Seriously.
Biggest Suckfest: Joel Pineiro, -28.6%
Most Important At Bat: Betancourt groundout, -4.5%
Most Important Pitch: Swisher double, -10.4%
Total Contribution by Pitcher(s): -31.3%
Total Contribution by Position Players: -19.8%

(What is this?)

Just for the hell of it, I was playing a game of World Series Baseball '98 this morning. I was the Mariners, the computer was the Angels, and after racking up nine runs on 15 baserunners against Jason Dickson I thought "okay no manager in his right mind would leave his starter out there this long." Funny thing, life. Joel even did me two baserunners better. Mike Hargrove must be loving the fact that Seattle fans have found someone to hate even more than his sorry ass.

Ordinarily this would be cause for another edition of You Write The Recap!, but, no, don't. Just be sure to tune in tomorrow (Meche! Haren! 7:05pm PDT!), because this can only get funnier.

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Comments

God help us

If Joel is on this team next year.

Jeremy Reed is the worst player to walk the face of the Earth.

by Mariner John on Aug 16, 2006 2:12 AM PDT reply actions

I like my chart better.

GENKI!!! & Detect-O-Vision

by IcebreakerX on Aug 16, 2006 2:15 AM PDT reply actions

No Science Required...

GENKI!!! & Detect-O-Vision

by IcebreakerX on Aug 16, 2006 2:20 AM PDT up reply actions

I doubt

that Joel is on ANY team next year.

by Greybear on Aug 16, 2006 2:16 AM PDT reply actions

KC

Can always find a place for trash.

by anotherjeff on Aug 16, 2006 5:03 AM PDT up reply actions

Whoever came up with that original

Calvin pissing decal/sticker needs to be shot in the face.

Fire Mike Hargrove!

by Goose on Aug 16, 2006 2:27 AM PDT reply actions

It's really, really sad...

...that there's an entire generation of people now that only know Calvin as the kid that pisses on stuff. One of the single most genius comics ever, ruined.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Aug 16, 2006 7:48 AM PDT up reply actions

license

You have to ask the creator, Bill Watterson, if it was worth all of the licensing revenue to `piss' away his legacy.

by batura on Aug 16, 2006 8:01 AM PDT up reply actions

That's the thing.

He didn't license them away. They are counterfiet images.

"In this kind of heat, we really ought to start Jamie Moyer - he's older and closer to death, anyway."
--Jarrod Washburn

by Phil Hatzenbuehler on Aug 16, 2006 8:02 AM PDT up reply actions

Misspelling

Sorry, it's spelled counterfeit.

I can never spell that word right.

"In this kind of heat, we really ought to start Jamie Moyer - he's older and closer to death, anyway."
--Jarrod Washburn

by Phil Hatzenbuehler on Aug 16, 2006 8:19 AM PDT up reply actions

Just remember

I before E, except after C ;-)

by JLaff @ Lookout Landing on Aug 16, 2006 8:48 AM PDT up reply actions

And ruined by stupid plagiarists.

Bill Watterson only authorized the comic collection books that came out. Every other piece of Calvin & Hobbes merchandise you see are counterfiet.

"In this kind of heat, we really ought to start Jamie Moyer - he's older and closer to death, anyway."
--Jarrod Washburn

by Phil Hatzenbuehler on Aug 16, 2006 8:02 AM PDT up reply actions

What a shame...

He created a legacy that was cheapened by the theft of Calvin's image and he didn't even see the revenue from it. That sucks as much as a Piniero fast ball...

I killed a 12 pack just to watch it die...

by Dollar97 on Aug 16, 2006 8:07 AM PDT up reply actions

I'm so glad their are others out there that feel

the same as me.

I absolutely love Calvin and Hobbes. I grew up reading those comics. One of the saddest days I can remember is when the local paper stopped carrying it.

I have every single book, along with PDF's of every single comic.

And yeah like was said above, anything thats not out of the comic books, is fake. There was never any merchandise of any kind. I believe Watterson said, the reason was is because he didn't make the comics to make money. He made them for people to enjoy.

Fire Mike Hargrove!

by Goose on Aug 16, 2006 9:29 AM PDT up reply actions

Are you willing to share?

Since I am one of the people that only knows Calvin as the merchandising gimic. I want to know him as a comic.

by sergey on Aug 16, 2006 9:36 AM PDT up reply actions

You're missing out

Any bookstore should have plenty of Calvin and Hobbes collections. Even if you don't buy one, take the opportunity to flip through a few of the strips.

no signature necessary

by Katal LM on Aug 16, 2006 9:39 AM PDT up reply actions

Any good used bookstore...

...will have tons of used copies of the paperback anthologies Goose mentioned. Pick any of 'em up, read it, and you'll be hooked on C&H and want all the rest of them...

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Aug 16, 2006 9:40 AM PDT up reply actions

Particularly good ones are

"Revenge of the Baby-Sat" and "Attack of the Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons." Oh, and "Weirdos from Another Planet" is pretty good too. Hell, come to think of it, all of the Calvin and Hobbes collections are great.

Ahhh, there's nothing like hijacking a thread...

"In this kind of heat, we really ought to start Jamie Moyer - he's older and closer to death, anyway."
--Jarrod Washburn

by Phil Hatzenbuehler on Aug 16, 2006 9:43 AM PDT up reply actions

Well I could send you the pdf's through E-Mail

keep in mind, it's like 150MB.

Anybody else that wants them, can throw their email up here as well.

Here's a sample.

Fire Mike Hargrove!

by Goose on Aug 16, 2006 10:08 AM PDT up reply actions

And there's always

Get Fuzzy.

"In this kind of heat, we really ought to start Jamie Moyer - he's older and closer to death, anyway."
--Jarrod Washburn

by Phil Hatzenbuehler on Aug 16, 2006 10:13 AM PDT up reply actions

Make a torrent?

Or more disgustingly Rapidshare/YSI/Megaupload.

by bluemax on Aug 16, 2006 1:54 PM PDT up reply actions

I second This

I need my Calvin & Hobbes fix.

by Robert on Aug 16, 2006 2:08 PM PDT up reply actions

I'm uploading them to rapidshare now

Will post links when it's done.

Fire Mike Hargrove!

by Goose on Aug 16, 2006 5:15 PM PDT up reply actions

Here we go

Book 1 of 3
Book 2 of 3
Book 3 of 3

Fire Mike Hargrove!

by Goose on Aug 16, 2006 6:18 PM PDT up reply actions

Woops, messed up on book 1. Lets try again

Book 1 of 3

Fire Mike Hargrove!

by Goose on Aug 16, 2006 6:20 PM PDT up reply actions

I think

I appreciate Calvin and Hobbes more now than I did as a kid reading it at my breakfast table.

Go check out this page - a nice collections of the snow-themed existential Calvin.

by peterpeter on Aug 16, 2006 11:40 AM PDT up reply actions

That is fantastic

by chaney on Aug 16, 2006 2:17 PM PDT up reply actions

I got...

...the hardbound, three volume Complete C&H for Christmas, and I read it all the time. It's awesome.

Watterson is the anti-modern media person; he didn't license C&H at all, even now, years after it all ended, he never ever gives interviews, and he was just happy to make the comic strip for people. It's kinda refreshing.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Aug 16, 2006 9:38 AM PDT up reply actions

Calvin and Hobbes is the greatest

I've drawn much inspiration from it throughout my life. There's a copy of one of the books at my grandparents and I think I read it every time I visit, never gets old.

by bluemax on Aug 16, 2006 9:53 AM PDT up reply actions

wheee

Well, at least now you should get the C&H strip where it's something like:

"Where do you think we go when we die?"
"Pittsburgh?"
"You mean if we're good or if we're bad?"

(that one was taped on the doors of SO many people at my college)

Marinerds - a different daily dose of baseblog.

by Deanna on Aug 16, 2006 12:11 PM PDT up reply actions

I had a blast...

...in Pittsburgh. Small sample size, and all that, but damn that was a fun 48 hours. Except for wandering into the frat-boy meathead bar that is the Hi-Top, across from PNC. But we didn't stay long.

Nice Guys Finish Third - Hopelessly lost, but makin' good time.

by pdb on Aug 16, 2006 1:07 PM PDT up reply actions

A friend of a friend

Moved from NYC, the greatest city in the world by all accounts, to Pittsburgh a few years ago... and never left. She liked it that much.

by Gomez on Aug 16, 2006 1:11 PM PDT up reply actions

I have a great time when I visit Pittsburgh

but after eight years of living there, I was just terminally bored. It's fantastic when you're in college (everything's cheap and low-key and caters to students), and from what I understand it's actually a pretty great place to raise a family and retire (housing is cheap, schools are good), but goddamn, it's not a place to spend your 20's and 30's if you're not a bar-hopping football-loving sort.

Marinerds - a different daily dose of baseblog.

by Deanna on Aug 16, 2006 1:53 PM PDT up reply actions

I feel so old....

I read them as an adult, but before that I was hooked on Bloom County....funny in much the same way...

No matter how bad the day, a few pages from one of the books puts the smile back on my face...even after a Joel start...

I killed a 12 pack just to watch it die...

by Dollar97 on Aug 16, 2006 10:12 AM PDT up reply actions

C&H, Bloom County...

This is my favorite comment thread ever.

by Jeff Sullivan on Aug 16, 2006 4:01 PM PDT up reply actions

C&H is great, but my fav was (don't hate me)

Fox Trot.

by Gomez on Aug 16, 2006 4:07 PM PDT up reply actions

Fox Trot is a good comic

but, to me, doesn't quite live up to Calvin and Hobbes.

"In this kind of heat, we really ought to start Jamie Moyer - he's older and closer to death, anyway."
--Jarrod Washburn

by Phil Hatzenbuehler on Aug 16, 2006 4:11 PM PDT up reply actions

I like it too

but it's not as good as Calvin

Jeremy Reed is the worst player to walk the face of the Earth.

by Mariner John on Aug 16, 2006 4:19 PM PDT up reply actions

Oh, agree

C&H withstands the test of time.

by Gomez on Aug 16, 2006 4:22 PM PDT up reply actions

I haven't watched an M's game in over a week

And this team continues to validate my decision.

by phil333 on Aug 16, 2006 3:43 AM PDT reply actions

Hmm...I messed up a bit.

Wasn't sure if you'd put one up, so I made one myself, and made a few mistakes, I see. I guess it's because I'm dead tired...anyways, here's mine... I'm posting because I'm proud I can do it, even with some simple mistakes....

We'll Always Have the Kingdome: Because I'll actually update it now, and I promise it's not that bad.

by BrettJMiller on Aug 16, 2006 3:46 AM PDT reply actions

Excellent work!

GENKI!!! & Detect-O-Vision

by IcebreakerX on Aug 16, 2006 5:42 AM PDT up reply actions

Not all on Joel

Joel Pineiro is not a good pitcher. Maybe he'll get there someday, but sending him out every fifth day to get his brains bashed in isn't helping anyone. Maybe a stint in Tacoma would help him out or maybe he's just beyond hope, I don't know. If I was on the starting rotation for the Mariners and giving up 12 runs per inning, is it my fault for my 45mph fastball or does management need to say "this guy isn't ready" and call up someone else?

At least Joel owns up to being a bad pitcher. From what I've read, it seems he is willing to do whatever to improve which I commend him for. I hope he gets a chance to work on his game over the winter and come back as a better pitcher next year.

by PDXTai on Aug 16, 2006 8:26 AM PDT reply actions

Joel is...

A 'roid-deflated, sack of worthlessness that is no longer a Major League (or even NPB) caliber player.

He just needs to be flat released.

GENKI!!! & Detect-O-Vision

by IcebreakerX on Aug 16, 2006 8:45 AM PDT up reply actions

I have to say

At one point when Piniero had the bases loaded last night or another, I started cheering for the A's.

Not because I want Oakland to do well, but because, really, what reason were the Mariners giving me to root for them? At least by pulling for Oakland I was able to feel good about how terrible Piniero and Hargrove were doing.

no signature necessary

by Katal LM on Aug 16, 2006 9:37 AM PDT reply actions

For anyone who migrated here from the ESPN boards

I just noticed phred dropped Piniero in the league after last night's game.

by bluemax on Aug 16, 2006 9:54 AM PDT reply actions

Pineiro Replacements

For those of you questioning who would replace Pineiro from AAA, we have the following update:

Cruceta -- still very spotty and going through a difficult time his last few games (not on a peak).

Baek -- pitching well and matched up with Pineiro (that is, he has been pitching the same days that Joel has been attempting to pitch).

Jeff Harris -- back from the DL and has been pitching extremely well. Not stretched out to cover a lot of innings yet, but is getting the spot start today in the second game of the Rainier's doubleheader.

None of the three is on the 40-man roster, but any of them could take Pineiro's spot!

by kva15 on Aug 16, 2006 10:37 AM PDT reply actions

Joel...

Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya!

Call someone up and send him packing!

I killed a 12 pack just to watch it die...

by Dollar97 on Aug 16, 2006 10:49 AM PDT up reply actions

Completely off-topic

but the next comment I make on this website will be my 1,000th (I was fooling around with my user page and discovered this little tidbit). I know that's probably a lot less than a lot of you (PositivePaul, Scruffy Lefty I'm looking at you) but I still think that's a pretty cool milestone.

On the other hand, I hope I haven't completely made a fool of myself with those 1,000 comments...eep.

"In this kind of heat, we really ought to start Jamie Moyer - he's older and closer to death, anyway."
--Jarrod Washburn

by Phil Hatzenbuehler on Aug 16, 2006 11:38 AM PDT reply actions

....how did you find out how many comments

you've made?

Fire Mike Hargrove!

by Goose on Aug 16, 2006 12:00 PM PDT up reply actions

Go to your user page

It should read "Gooses' Page" in the upper right of your screen. Click on "comments" and you can see all the comments you've made.

"In this kind of heat, we really ought to start Jamie Moyer - he's older and closer to death, anyway."
--Jarrod Washburn

by Phil Hatzenbuehler on Aug 16, 2006 1:04 PM PDT up reply actions

Corco:USSM::PositivePaul:LoL

Okay. Maybe not as much as Goose.

Free George Sherrill. And Dan Rohn.

by PositivePaul on Aug 16, 2006 12:43 PM PDT up reply actions

Definitely not...

PositivePaul = 59 pages
Goose > 100 pages (I stopped counting at 100 pages)

Free George Sherrill. And Dan Rohn.

by PositivePaul on Aug 16, 2006 12:51 PM PDT up reply actions

Holy crap

Goose has 9100+ comments. That probably can only be rivaled by Jeff. That's incredible.

"In this kind of heat, we really ought to start Jamie Moyer - he's older and closer to death, anyway."
--Jarrod Washburn

by Phil Hatzenbuehler on Aug 16, 2006 1:20 PM PDT up reply actions

Jeff...

472 pages of comments -- well over 14,000.

Free George Sherrill. And Dan Rohn.

by PositivePaul on Aug 16, 2006 2:36 PM PDT up reply actions

Out of curiosity...

Holy crap, Goose! Someone needs to tell you to either shut up or get a life! :-)

305 freakin' pages of comments (barely shy of 10,000!)

Has to be the most ;-)

Free George Sherrill. And Dan Rohn.

by PositivePaul on Aug 16, 2006 1:28 PM PDT up reply actions

And every one of them

pertinent and insightful... or, should that be "inciteful?"

by kva15 on Aug 16, 2006 1:53 PM PDT up reply actions

Over 1700 comments for me

I can't believe its been so many I love this place.

by phil333 on Aug 16, 2006 3:00 PM PDT up reply actions

You mean their is life outside the internet?

I've heard of people interacting in the "outside" world, but I thought it was just a old wives tail!

Fire Mike Hargrove!

by Goose on Aug 16, 2006 4:58 PM PDT up reply actions

573 comments here.

This would be really funny to anyone else who played too many Konami video games, I'm sure.

Marinerds - a different daily dose of baseblog.

by Deanna on Aug 16, 2006 3:10 PM PDT up reply actions

Got you by 8

or 9 now.

Jeremy Reed is the worst player to walk the face of the Earth.

by Mariner John on Aug 16, 2006 3:18 PM PDT up reply actions

I think you're missing the point.

I'm not bragging about quantity here.

Marinerds - a different daily dose of baseblog.

by Deanna on Aug 16, 2006 3:25 PM PDT up reply actions

I know, I was just stating my total

and that it happened to be similar to yours.

Jeremy Reed is the worst player to walk the face of the Earth.

by Mariner John on Aug 16, 2006 3:26 PM PDT up reply actions

I've played a ton of Konami games

but I am somehow missing the joke.

by bluemax on Aug 16, 2006 4:46 PM PDT up reply actions

573.

It's on the wiki page I linked, but you can use the Japanese numbers 573 to spell out Konami (5 is "go"/ko, 7 can be "nana"/na, and 3 is pronounced "mi" when it's representing ordinal numbers).

If you play enough games you'll notice they tend to use 573 as numbers on high score lists, and in the Bemani series of games it popped up in various places, such as songs being called things like "asian 573", or in early Beatmania IIDX home games, getting a 573 combo would unlock all of the hidden items. They've got arcade hardware called "System 573", too.

It's just one of those numbers that I think is weird when it shows up elsewhere randomly, I guess.

Marinerds - a different daily dose of baseblog.

by Deanna on Aug 16, 2006 5:13 PM PDT up reply actions