I <3 RoyalsReview

by Matthew on Jul 28, 2006 12:40 PM PDT

http://www.lonestarball.com/story/2006/7/28/13465/7338

Title: The Royals Will Crush the Rangers

This series will not be close. The Rangers will be overconfident and cocky thanks to the Lee trade, and Buck will continue to misfire from the bench.

Buddy Bell is the best manager in the game today, and is a good candidate for the HOF someday. His career winning percentage of .415 speaks for itself.

Everywhere he's been, he's won (40% of the time).

The Rangers have no answer to the Royals pitching staff. Can you say three-strikeouts per game? Believe it. Led by fireballers like Odalis Perez (non-insane three days running) the Royals have some of the best arms in the league.

Do you remember the All-Star game? You bet you do. The only way Young suceeded was because he knew he had ALL STAR MARK REDMAN backing him up.

Emil Brown is one of the 50 best outfielders in the AL Central, and will prove it this weekend at Ameriquest (nee The BallPark).

(moment of silence for Arlington Stadium)

The Royals are the renegades of the AL Central. You know how our offense kills ya? Singles. What do four singles in an inning equal biatch? Thats right, a m----f---ing run.

You'll be stunned when we drop a first inning bunt with out #3 hitter, the powerful Doug Mientkieiwcz. He's so studly, he even named his son "Steel" (really).

Enjoy getting walloped the ROyals. You ran into a buzzsaw at the wrong time. Theres a 90% chance the Royals will no-hit you in this series, and a 85% chance we'll top 10 runs twice. This is a revenge series for Buddy, and you can bet your a-- that he'll make sure the boys know exactly that.

Its on. Enjoy feeling positive about your team, because its about to end. Pronto, as you say.

((ed. note: I cannot ever again read/hear/think of Mark Redmand and not have two words come to mind:

Latin Passion))

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Oh My GOD

That is by the far the funniest thing I've read all year.

What do four singles in an inning equal biatch? Thats right, a m----f---ing run.

by CecilEltz @ Lookout Landing on Jul 28, 2006 1:05 PM PDT reply actions

funniest part was

"Emil Brown is one of the 50 best outfielders in the AL Central, and will prove it this weekend at Ameriquest (nee The BallPark)."

LMFAO

by mariners124m on Jul 28, 2006 1:48 PM PDT reply actions

M-I-E-N-T-K-I-E-W-I-C-Z

Yeah, I love Royals Review too. But I miss the "Futility Watch".

Marinerds - a different daily dose of baseblog.

by Deanna on Jul 28, 2006 1:55 PM PDT reply actions

That doesn't look like a heart to me

It looks . . . er . . . anatomical.

So there was a moment there where I wondered why you were doing that to royals review.

Anyway, funny stuff. Those people have some well-developed bad-team-survival strategies.

by Billy Everyteen on Jul 28, 2006 2:43 PM PDT reply actions

by Gomez on Jul 31, 2006 11:50 AM PDT up reply actions

by Gomez on Jul 28, 2006 8:10 PM PDT reply actions

HAHAHA

I love this comment.

Angel Berroa is the Derek Jeter of the midwest

He's the most exciting player in the game today. I am proud to think that I will be able to tell my illegitimate grandchildren that I watched his magical pursuit of a 40 error/200K season.

DUDE YOUR WIFE IS A STONE COLD FOXXX with three exes to suggest TEH PORNOOOO!

by Gomez on Jul 28, 2006 8:12 PM PDT up reply actions