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Around SBN: Jerry Sandusky's Wife Tries To Run A Reporter Over

44-50

NOTE: This is what happens when I write while I'm pissed off. I promise I'm not a threat to anybody's life. I apologize if you're offended by any of the content, although you can't tell me you didn't feel exactly the same last night.

From a post I made a few weeks ago:

...I've always been of the mindset that umpires are just another part of the "luck" equation that teams have to deal with on a game-by-game basis. Sometimes they make controversial calls in your favor, sometimes they make them against you, and it's not worth getting all up in arms over a call that didn't go your way because by the end of the season, the good and the bad are probably going to balance out.

Even after tonight, I still believe this to be true. Umpires aren't biased, and you're just as likely to have a call go in your favor as you are to have one go against it. Over a long enough period of time, the two should negate each other, and there won't be anything to complain about.

That said, allow me to say this -

I hate Mike Reilly. I hate him and I hope he's miserable for the rest of his life, living out his days in an apartment by himself after his wife leaves him for someone who knows how to please a woman and his four kids end up on the street having sex for money and doing dirty blow off the sidewalk because they never had a father who loved them. I hope his friends replace him and he's left having to do fruitless searches for information about himself on the Internet for validation, eventually coming to realize that there aren't any Mike Reilly websites or images because he's led a largely irrelevant life that hasn't had a positive impact on anyone. I hope he gets brutally mugged in the alleyway behind his building but doesn't lose his wallet because the criminal didn't want to steal the identity of someone so pathetic and worthless. I hope the checkout girl at his favorite grocer makes endless snarky remarks about how everything he buys comes in single servings. I hope he gets fired and the basement washing machine eats his quarters and colors everything pink so he looks sad and uncomfortable when he shows up at his job interview for the graveyard shift at his neighborhood Arco. I hope the dinner he buys at Red Lobster when he decides to "do something nice for himself" is undercooked and poisoned and that his toilet backs up from all the vomit. And most of all, I hope he reads this paragraph, so that in his final moments, when his life is flashing before his eyes, he knows how much people detested him.

Biggest Contribution: Richie Sexson, +14.5%
Biggest Suckfest: JJ Putz, -39.9%
Most Important Hit: Sexson homer, +24.3%
Most Important Pitch: Cabrera homers, -35.8%
Total Contribution by Pitcher(s): -29.3%
Total Contribution by Position Players: -22.4%

(What is this?)

Once again, I'll post some of my thoughts on the game in a bit when I'm a little less steamed.

Comment 14 comments  |  1 recs  | 

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amen!
that is all...

by ripcity247365 on Jul 18, 2006 10:37 PM PDT reply actions  

YES
You included Reilly in the WPA!  AWESOME.
SWUNG ON AND BELTED! DEEP TO... shortstop....

by Gomez on Jul 18, 2006 10:43 PM PDT reply actions  

Oooh! But you forgot something!
Total Contribution by Pitcher(s): -29.3%
Total Contribution by Position Players: -22.4%
Total Contribution by Mike Reilly: -29.3%

by MT on Jul 18, 2006 10:47 PM PDT reply actions  

I found Mike Reilly
http://www.albion.edu/sports/vanvleet.asp

He lives in Battle Creek, Michigan apparently. Anyone want to go on a little hunting jaunt?

Maybe a hunger strike to get Hargrove 86'd?

by thejew4u on Jul 18, 2006 11:01 PM PDT reply actions  

That was
one of the greatest rants I have ever read

by mariners124m on Jul 18, 2006 11:04 PM PDT reply actions  

A call for a bit of reason
I'm all for being mad, but isn't this a little over the top?  It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt, and often times it's sports fans that make threats toward peoples' families (like umpires' families, Griffey's family, etc.), and frankly I find that more than a little crass.  

Not trying to be a buzzkill here, but you guys act like making a mistake at your job is a crime punishable by death.  If that were the case, we'd all be at the gallows.  Honestly, Putz should've picked himself up and found a way to get out of it.  Instead, he looked fairly mediocre in what were, granted, poor conditions.  Tough break for us, but it certainly wasn't worth getting savage over.  One reason I love this site and USSM is that it's funny and intelligent above all else.  I expect the same in the eyes of such a tough loss, too.  :)

by Bodhizefa on Jul 18, 2006 11:26 PM PDT reply actions  

It'll be over the top
when someone actually knocks on Reilly's door and pisses on his feet.

I don't know about everyone else, but I'm just blowing off some steam in the most enjoyable way I know how.

by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2006 12:04 AM PDT up reply actions  

No prob
Fair enough.  I knew you were just venting, but sometimes readers don't get that and it just snowballs.  Sometimes I think the writer has a responsibility to be above such emotional and obviously over-the-top outbursts, but to each his own.  I'll go on enjoying your non-umpire rants ;)

by Bodhizefa on Jul 19, 2006 2:29 AM PDT up reply actions  

Oh, you're totally right.
But thanks to Matt Thornton I kind of have a track record for this kind of behavior.

People tell me time and time again "you should never write when you're angry," but dammit, I was really angry.

by Jeff Sullivan on Jul 19, 2006 7:39 AM PDT up reply actions  

Sports Center
Called him "as out as he could possibly be."  

At least we're not alone.  :(

by Garces on Jul 18, 2006 11:37 PM PDT reply actions  

Wow, when ESPN is even acknowledgeing
That the Yankees should of lost, you know you fucked up bad.
Fire Mike Hargrove!

by Goose on Jul 18, 2006 11:40 PM PDT up reply actions  

44-50 - Cards of the Day

---The Rielly Dino---

When Umpire comes into play opponent automatically ties the game.  Rally dino is disabled for the remainder of the game and only veteran relievers can be summoned.

---Julio Mateo---

When facing a batter, roll one six-sided die.  If die lands on "1" destroy current batter with "strikeout" attack.  If die lands on "6" the game is over and the player loses.

by ThundaPC on Jul 18, 2006 11:39 PM PDT reply actions  

Julio player card
All opposing batters double attack strength when ballgame is close.  Batters capable of Fatal Walkoff Attack when game reaches extra innings.
SWUNG ON AND BELTED! DEEP TO... shortstop....

by Gomez on Jul 19, 2006 9:12 AM PDT up reply actions  

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