17-25

by Jeff Sullivan on May 18, 2006 11:23 PM PDT in Seattle Mariners Regular News

The Mariners were profoundly inefficient, stranding eight more runners despite four hits by Ichiro Suzuki. Their fifth loss in seven games prompted manager Mike Hargrove to keep the clubhouse closed for 57 minutes after the final out.

Hargrove: "Most of you probably don't know why we're having this meeting."
Hassey: :whispers:
Hargrove: (to Hassey) "Really?"
Hassey: "Pretty sure, yeah."
Hargrove: You think?"
Hassey: "Just letting you know what I've heard."
Hargrove: (to everyone) "Okay, it's been brought to my attention that the exact opposite is true."
Chaves: :sighs:
Hargrove: "This team is really struggling right now, and we need to get back on track as quickly as possible if we don't want to stay in the cellar all year."
Bloomquist: "Let us have it, skip!"
Hargrove: "Over these 42 games I've been able to get some understanding of what is and isn't working, and I think I finally see where the problem is."
Putz: "What's the old adage? 'It all starts at the top'?"
Hargrove: "Richie, A-Train, you guys are terrible."
(stunned silence)
Hargrove: "I mean, Jesus H Christ, guys, have you seen yourselves lately? Frankly, I'm a little embarrassed to be wearing the same uniform."
Bloomquist: "You don't just wear it, you fill that thing out!"
Hargrove: "The rest of you, seriously, you've been great. Couldn't have asked for more. Richie and Adrian though...well, we're in last place thanks to them, and that's all I'll say about that."
Sexson: :eyes a bat in the corner, begins to stand up:
Hargrove: "What's the matter, big guy? Gonna slug .391 all year and strike out 550 times? That going to help us win ballgames?"
Rohn: "Those are your career numbers, Mike."
Hargrove: "What?"
Rohn: "Those numbers. They're yours, not his."
Sexson: :slowly sits back down, glaring:
Hargrove: "Who the hell are you?"
Reed: "The guy who'll have your job in a week."
Hargrove: "I hope you like the bench."
Reed: "I hope you like welfare."
Rohn: "Richie's hitting .209. Why not switch around the lineup a little? This one clearly isn't working."
Hargrove: "You ever seen a guy as big as Richie hitting anywhere else but cleanup? Didn't think so. Go back to whatever you were doing, whoever you are."
Rohn: "What does it tell you when your two worst hitters have taken up 21% of the team's at bats?"
Hargrove: "It tells me that you're an assface."
Chaves: :sighs again, louder:
Hargrove: "You have something to say, rookie?"
Pineiro: "Do you even remember why you called this meeting?"
Hargrove: "How about you shut your God damn trap and let me talk, frost job."
Reed: "Why don't you just tell Jose to sacrifice more and call it a day? A guy slugging .500 and leading the team in bunts, that's just phenomenal strategizing."
Hargrove: "Remind me, which one of us has coached in the World Series?"
Everett: "Which one of us has won one?"
Betancourt: "¿Qué se está encendiendo?"
Hernandez: "Él dijo que usted huele malo."
Betancourt: "Eso no es verdad, yo huele como un prado."
Hassey: "I think the bus driver's getting impatient. We need to get to the airport."
Hargrove: "Good meeting, guys. Let's get 'em tomorrow."
Sexson: "You better start sleeping with one eye open."
Hargrove: "You better start hitting with two eyes open."
Sexson: "You stupid old pig fu-"
Hassey: "GUYS. BUS. NOW."
Bloomquist: "Who wants to be my seat buddy??"
Ibanez: "Richie does."

Biggest Contribution: Ichiro, +13.8%
Biggest Suckfest: Joel Pineiro, -25.4%
Most Important "Hit": Ibanez DP, -10.2%
Most Important Pitch: Crosby single, -11.7%
Total Contribution by Pitcher(s): -24.5%
Total Contribution by Hitters: -27.9%

(What is this?)

The only thing that could make today more depressing is seeing the headline "Pujols fill-in (Player A) lifts Cards" on the Yahoo! baseball front page. Which I just did, a second ago. .279/.375/.557. Meanwhile, Jeff Cirillo's hit .294 since returning to Milwaukee. Sometimes you really just have to sit back and wonder.

The Mariners welcome their fierce regional rivals to town tomorrow night, where "welcome" presumably means something much less hospitable than usual. The official site claims that great seats are still available for the Young/Washburn matchup, but given the level of animosity the two teams have for each other and how the fans totally feel the same way, I can't see that remaining the case much longer, so you'd better go snap up a seat or two before you're left on the outside looking in. And yes, making fun of a mythical rivalry with the cute and harmless Padres is way more fun than recapping a game in Oakland that nobody saw.

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According to Jason Churchill at Prospect Insider:

I just picked up an interesting e-mail from a reliable source alerting me that there could be something brewing in the Emerald City tomorrow morning- likely something to do with the manager, but I'm getting all kinds of angles on some player movement, too.

Felix Hernandez may be on a plane to Nashville to join Triple-A Tacoma with Chris Snelling recalled... Matt Lawton may get the boot, via the DFA... Sounds like one way or the other, Doyle is getting the call.

Stay close to your computer for the latest.

Fire Mike Hargrove

by Goose on May 18, 2006 11:52 PM PDT reply actions

Snelling

Doyle was in the lineup yesterday but was pulled just before the game. I thought the same thing -- maybe he is on his way to Seattle (hope so). Today's TribNet has a quote from Brundage saying that he had a little stiffness in his knee so they pulled him to be careful. That could be smoke, or not.

Also, Livingston was put back in the rotation and Appier is now a reliever. Preparing for his trip to Seattle? I'd sure like to see him have a couple of good games first. His last two outings have been bad, bad, bad.

by kva15 on May 19, 2006 8:28 AM PDT up reply actions

FELIX TO AAA!?

if that happens, I'm not going to follow this team any more. No more.

Oh. but if Snelling comes back... I might for a few games... (until he blows out his knee again).

by MT on May 19, 2006 12:33 AM PDT reply actions

I don't like it either, BUT

look what it did for Jose last year.He had nothing else left to learn in AAA but they sent him down anyways.When he came back up, he was a much better hitter and so far is the 2nd best 2B in baseball behind Chase Utley.

Maybe the same thing will happen with Felix.Besides, I imagine it will be temporary.

Fire Mike Hargrove

by Goose on May 19, 2006 1:11 AM PDT up reply actions

I remember his first demotion

In his first AB, Lopez launched some jobber's pitch over the fence, and then he hit another homer later that night in a pissed-off 'I don't belong here' display.

by Gomez on May 19, 2006 8:52 AM PDT up reply actions

And this Spiezio doing well at

St. Louis. Cirillo bouncing back in Milwaukee.

This always happens. Always.

Something has to be wrong with the M's, either their personnel, management, ownership, players, some Indian curse, bad mojo, or what not, seeing how Stars fall in the Emerald city and rise back up once they get out of here.

by MT on May 19, 2006 12:38 AM PDT reply actions

Notice...

That most of the bouncing occurs in the NL.

I'm pretty convinced the NL is a slightly softer league right now.

No real evidence, except maybe for the VORP movements between leagues (more to AL than NL), but just a hunch.

GENKI!!! & Detect-O-Vision

by IcebreakerX on May 19, 2006 12:40 AM PDT up reply actions

thats true. Everyone bounces back in the NL

maybe an isolated incidence, but Carlos Guillen also looked pretty crappy in Seattle, but injuries aside, his numbers are pretty good in Detroit.

I wonder how Olivo, Borchard are doing...

by MT on May 19, 2006 12:51 AM PDT up reply actions

so I checked

Olivo: (limited sample size)
2006 w/ Florida (100AB)
OBP SLG AVG
.287 .450 .240

2005 w/ Seattle (152AB)
OBP SLG AVG
.172 .276 .151

Borchard:
2006 w/ Florida (51AB)
OBP SLG AVG
.322 .333 .216

2005 w/ Seattle (9AB. very limited sample)
OBP SLG AVG
.222 .222 .222

Borchard, not really sure, but Olivo clearly has improved from his crappyness in Seattle (although it might be difficult not to improve from where he was at in Seattle.)

by MT on May 19, 2006 1:00 AM PDT up reply actions

The downward spiral

Note that Olivo's still not a good hitting catcher, he's just not as spectacularly crappy as he was with us.

I think one thing you can definitely lay at the Mariners' door is they don't show much ability to deal with the downward spiral. Cirillo, Spiezio, Olivo, Beltre, Sexson -- when a guy's really struggling he just keeps on digging that hole deeper and deeper until he's finally traded, demoted, or DFA'd. I don't have an explanation for that. Maybe the coaches and front office take a hands-off approach, maybe they heap psychological abuse on under-achievers, maybe they offer crappy advice that makes things worse, maybe they offer good advice to players who just won't listen. But there's something going on here that seems more than mere coincidence. Good players can play well in Seattle, obviously, but when things are bad, they seem to get worse with distressing regularity.

Pregnancy takes nine months, no matter how many women you put on the job.

by zagreusmd on May 19, 2006 9:03 AM PDT up reply actions

Indeed

Colorado. Now, the Marlins. Hell, Ryan Franklin has a job with an NL team. And those aside, there are many crappy pitchers working frequently in the NL.

Both Player A and He Who Shall Not Be Named would likely suck if they returned to the AL. Unless they got to face Gil Meche.

by Gomez on May 19, 2006 8:53 AM PDT up reply actions

Matt Thornton

5.23 ERA 11 hits allowed in 10IP although he is striking out 2 batters for every one he walks, which for him is probably an improvement.

by bluemax on May 19, 2006 9:47 AM PDT up reply actions

Sigh

Sickening.

Don't bother me, I'm hustling.

by Phil Hatzenbuehler on May 19, 2006 8:33 AM PDT reply actions

Hm

I think I saw Jim Moore doing a TV interview on my way to lunch one day. I should've spit on him.

by Gomez on May 19, 2006 8:55 AM PDT up reply actions

BARF

I read that giant hunk of poo this morning.

A few choice moments with Jim Moore, my nominee for biggest douche in the universe:

Even if the Mariners lose the rest of their games this year and go 0-162 next year in the final year of his contract, Mike Hargrove will never be ripped by the Go 2 Guy.

I loathe Jim Moore for this sentence. This is far and away the most disturbing string of words I've ever read. You don't care if we lose every game for the next 2 years? You just want Mike Hargrove to feel like he's special? I really just dont understand the logic behind this, you'd rather have the entire nation of Mariners fans have 2 years of shame unprecedented that would be ridiculed for generations to come - to be known as the WORST TEAM EVER in professional sports history - rather than write one malicious word about Grover.

Jim Moore. I hate you. You are the worst human being I've ever met. I'd rather give a hummer to Hitler than shake your hand.

When it's going like this, you start to think about other things....in Hargrove's case, riding that Harley of his to anywhere but here.

YES PLEASE DO! PLEASE DRIVE OFF WITH WITH YOUR FAT WIFE IN TOW.

"We don't talk about what goes on on the field because I don't know jack crap about it," [Sharon Hargrove] said.

Neither does your husband, sweet heart - in fact, he's probably asking you for tomorrows lineup.

In his own way, Hargrove is trying to figure it out, 12 hours a day, seven days a week. Sharon said if managers were graded on effort, every one of them deserves an A. "There's gotta be points for that, surely," she said.

Grover was brought to Seattle to help us win. Plain and simple. We, the fans, are paying him to help us win and he's not doing that. If he wants to be graded on his effort then he should go back to preschool and get gold stars for Maccaroni artwork and not eating paste.

by CecilEltz @ Lookout Landing on May 19, 2006 9:03 AM PDT up reply actions

LOL... over at Sportspot

They're horrified with our reaction to this piece. All I can say to that is... the timing and context of the piece, with the team struggling and the manager making poor personnel decisions, is rather poor.

Yeah, managers and players are human beings. But we're not paying them millions to tug our heart-strings.

by Gomez on May 19, 2006 11:21 AM PDT up reply actions

Ha, that's funny.If I wasn't banned from there

I'd check it out.

But yeah, who gives a rats ass about Hargrove's wife and his home life? Seriously, Moore I outta take a page out of Red Forman's book and break my foot off in your ass because your as big of a dumbass as Hargrove.

Fire Mike Hargrove

by Goose on May 19, 2006 4:01 PM PDT up reply actions

Also, Jeff

Nice work. Between you, Goose and I, I think we summed up that 57 minute meeting PERFECTLY.

by Gomez on May 19, 2006 8:56 AM PDT reply actions

Those transcripts...

They sum up the "meeting" perfectly. Great job, guys!

by ThundaPC on May 19, 2006 9:42 AM PDT up reply actions

Heh

I like the Carl Everett attack sequence. It sounds reasonably possible too...

YAY JOSE!

by WAB on May 19, 2006 9:47 AM PDT up reply actions

LOL

I was just looking up our current lines. I (shamefully) went to ESPN to do so, actually I googled Jeremy Reed and that was the first link, so I think (hope) it's defensible. Stats are about the only thing their good for any more, and only because the player and stat pages are pretty, not really that functional. That's what THT is for.

Anyway, back on track, this was on his profile:
May. 18
News: Reed, who continues to share time in center field with two others, apparently has the backing of general manager Bill Bavasi, who said he spoke with manager Mike Hargrove about Reed's playing situation, the Tacoma News Tribune reports.

I could imagine that part of the conversation went!

Bavasi: Grover, we need to talk.
Grover: My name is HARGROVE, MIKE HARGROVE.
Bavasi: Yeah, whatever, I liked Sesame street, so .. Anyway, Jeremy. You know, umm, well.
Grover: What already? I'm in a hurry.
Bavasi: Yeah, umm. Well, you just aren't playing him enough. Willies a good sub and all ..
Grover: He's not a sub. He's hit .300 most of the year.
Bavasi: Yeah, and it's more like .280, and with no power, and only an occasional walk.
Grover: But Willie smokes lefties, and he's got grit and hustle, and he's a good base runner.
Bavasi: Um, I'm not sure that's What Willie's smoking, but that's not the point. You do realize Scott Spiezio had "grit" and "hustle".
Grover: Sandfrog Sucked.
Bavasi: Um, so does Willie, but my point is Jeremy was a key acquisition from the Freddie trade. Willie is at his "peak" if you will, and Jeremy is going to improve, he needs to hit and field if he's going to reach his potential.
Grover: Is there a point to this? I need
Bavasi: Yes, um, you like your job, right Mikey?
Grover: I go by Mike god damnit. And no, I don't.
Bavasi: Um, my point is Jeremy's job isn't the one in question, if you get my drift.
Grover: No, I dont. Reeds hitting .212, of course his job is in question.
Jeremy: HEY, Even I understand sample sizes. I hate you. Can I hit him Bill?
Grover: Where did you come from. I thought I chained you to the bench.
Jeremy: Maybe you should chain Adrian or Richie instead.
Richie: Shut up punk or I'll send your head into the stands.
Adrian: You can't send anything into the stands. Haha.
Ichiro: (floating mysteriously in the air) Neither can you, so you should both shut up
(Club House explodes into Violence, Ichiro teleports away).
Bavasi: Damnit, OK MIKE *&#!ING HARGROVER, YOU PLAY JEREMY MOST DAYS, OR ... OR YOUR FIRED
Grover: Ok, Willie, you heard him, you're our new regular center fielder, and can you chain Jeremy back to the bench while your at it. Thanks Bill, you really mean it? I can get paid to not sit hear and lis

by chrisisasavage on May 19, 2006 9:49 AM PDT reply actions

my favorite part

was Grover referring to the Spazio as "Sandfrog"

Fire Mike Hargrove.

by jtopps on May 19, 2006 10:00 AM PDT up reply actions

Thank you Altavista, I guess

Betancourt: "What is igniting?"
Hernandez: "He said that you smell bad."
Betancourt: "That is not truth, I smells like a meadow."

Wow, what a rough translation.

I know! We can teach someone to hit against lefties by benching them every time we face them! -Mike Hargrove

by Mariner John on May 19, 2006 2:55 PM PDT reply actions

The translation I got from the web:

Betancourt: What is being lit?
Hernandez: He said that you smell evil.
Betancourt: That it is not true, I smells as a field.

Don't bother me, I'm hustling.

by Phil Hatzenbuehler on May 19, 2006 3:33 PM PDT up reply actions

Our Own Translations

Betancourt: Hey, you want to light this up?
Hernandez: He said that shit smells like...shit.
Betancourt: Don't blame me. This ganja was left in Garcia's locker.

by kva15 on May 19, 2006 4:23 PM PDT reply actions

My trans

Betancourt: Hey, I know no English. Is he giving me mierda for my 5 errors?
Hernandez: No, but if he says shit about hitters tagging my fastball that he calls five times every fucking at-bat, I'm gonna muerte the manager.
Betancourt: I'll drive the getaway car.

by Gomez on May 19, 2006 4:37 PM PDT up reply actions