Thiel's column

by ryanhealy on Oct 4, 2005 10:50 AM PDT

Art Thiel's column today describing Lincoln's approach to baseball makes me sick to have spent so much money on the Mariners over the course of the past decade.

I'm nearly convinced that the Mariners won't win anything as long as Lincoln is at the helm simply because winning isn't his first priority. This isn't technically news (we've been aware of Lincoln's approach for awhile) but each time I read something like this it makes it more difficult to rationalize being a fan of this business, er, team.

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Ugh

That is sickening. But I think we already new that Lincoln was more concerned about keeping the team out of the red than building a competitive club. I just hate that he isn't afraid to admit it.

by Trent on Oct 4, 2005 11:29 AM PDT reply actions

Moneyball

Howard Lincoln should coin the phrase "Fuzzyball" (sounds bad, doesn't it?) to describe scouting talent for the essentials of a warm and fuzzy team:

Here are the metrics:

NTFH - Non-threatening facial hair (why do you think Scott Spiezio is no longer on the team? It has nothing to do with his .050 batting average) Leader for 2005 M's: Yuniesky Betancourt

ERCA - Perenially elligible for the Roberto Clemente Award (number of awards divided by years of major leage service)
Leader for 2005 M's: Jamie Moyer

BNNA - Bad nickname average (Sexson doesn't fall into this, because the Mariners refuse to acknowledge the greatness of "Big Sexy")
Leader for 2005 M's: None.

AA - Attractiveness average (Get people swooning, and you get attendance)
Leader for 2005 M's: I've oft heard Richie Sexson is tops in this category

BDE - Big doe eyes (surface area of the eyeballs divided by the surface area of the face. Matt Thornton leads the team in BDE)
Leader for 2005 M's: Matt Thornton

FMA - Family man average (this is number of wives divided by number of children...the smaller the decimal, the better the FMA)
Leader for 2005 M's: Jamie Moyer

by Phil Hatzenbuehler on Oct 4, 2005 3:36 PM PDT reply actions